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Old 04-02-2013, 09:25 PM   #16
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As far as "rules" we always say to go with whatever is stricter. It our rules are stricter than the host's rules, our rules still apply. If the host's rules are stricter than ours, the kids are to respect those rules.
This is perfect.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:26 PM   #17
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We're relaxed about this stuff in general. I can't imagine a typical toy I wouldn't let my son play with, and if the other kids happen to be playing a "war" like game (we don't have those in my house) he probably wouldn't have much interest in it. But kids are going to get exposure to different things the second they start socializing with peers.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:39 PM   #18
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When we are at friends houses, we usually let the house rules stand. We don't have toy guns in our house, but we went to dinner at a home with three boys and a basement full of Nerf guns. Honestly, I just let them have at it. They had a blast with the novelty of it all... And at the end of the night, we went home and they went on with their lives in our non-gun household with no issue. Same thing with TV within reason. I've found I worry more about the content then they ever really pay attention to. So if Sponge Bob is on at someone else's house, so be it. It doesn't mean it will be on in our house. In the summer, we get together with my nephews who only seem to eat corn dogs, cups, soda and pizza rolls. If my kids eat this junk for a week each summer, oh well. They will be back to healthier food when they get home.
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Old 04-02-2013, 11:13 PM   #19
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We are also agnostic/atheist and do as NYEMomma said. I find it interesting if not disturbing that we even feel the need to worry about this. Kids in public school encounter people from all types of beliefs and learn how to participate in activities together. I think when we try to explain how 'different' we are from them we tend to create barriers where none need to be.

As for children behaving, different matter. I don't like kids screaming and running about but at an outdoor event I kind of expect it as long as they are being fair and safe. There are always parents who ignore their kids and those of us who are always watching out trying to keep everyone safe. Must be the nurse in me but I don't like the littlest trying to play with the older kids. They always get run over and hurt for some reason.

I would think a simple comment to my kids to remember our family rules and be respectful of everyone would be enough. JMHO
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Old 04-03-2013, 01:19 AM   #20
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How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.
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Old 04-03-2013, 03:07 AM   #21
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How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.
This happened to us on Easter Sunday. In this particular case there is a lot of hypocrisy and obnoxiousness involved, so I was particularly disturbed, but didn't say anything as it's just my father's latest fad anyway and next time there will be something else.
We only know one family who does that on regular basis and while I don't like it very much in my house, as it implies that their Christian values "trump" my agnostic values in either house (or worse, that as an agnostic I don't have values), I don't say anything.
I've decided that those three seconds aren't important enough to create an awkward situation, but should it ever go any further than that (like discussions, promoting their belief to our daughter) I will step in.
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Old 04-03-2013, 03:50 AM   #22
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I think making a guest comfortable is fine even if it goes against my religious/lack of/ beliefs. I don't think experiencing prayer ever harmed anyone and keeping the peace is also important. Take the high road and be the better person.
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:03 AM   #23
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How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.
Eh, I don't sweat it. Whatever floats your boat. Plus as a host, I know some people take their faith seriously and say a prayer before meals.

Now OTOH, if you said no praying allowed in the home, that would seriously be uncomfortable for everyone, I would think. If I had to say that to people, I would probably not have them in my home in the first place.

As a host, it is ingrained in me to be gracious to my guests and the thought of offending them would go against my "belief system" there.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:40 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember View Post
How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.

Truthfully it wouldn't bother me in the least. If I had a guest over and they wanted to say grace, hey have at it. what am I suddenly going to fall to my knees? I don't think it was disrespectful at all. Have you ever been out to dinner with some one and they bow their heads a say a quick grace? most people simply pause, it takes all of 20 secs and then when the person finishes, conversation picks up.
As I said my brother and uncle are Muslim, the say a prayer over their plates all the time. no harm, no foul.

My MIL came over one sunday with a good friend of hers, she asked politely if I would mind if she said a quick grace. I thought it was pretty nice actually, basically she simple thanked the lord for the food and asked him to protect the people in the house. Now after the year I've had, I pretty much appreciate anyone who sends me good vibes.

I wouldn't sweat it, you're not going to start saying grace and I don't think your guest meant any harm.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:56 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember View Post
How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.
I think it depends on how it was done. If they said grace out loud knowing full well that your family does not share their beliefs, then yes, that is rude, presumptuous, and disrespectful. However, if they simply bowed their heads and said a silent prayer, It think that is perfectly fine.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:25 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Ember View Post
How do people feel about religious families/individuals coming into a non-religious home and praying before a meal? While I am a guest in someone's home I will be as respectful as possible. However, this happened to us recently and we felt extremely awkward having grace said in our home when we don't follow their belief system. We still aren't sure if we think that their actions were disrespectful, or if it's on us to make our guests comfortable... On the one hand it seems so harmless, but on the other, it really did make us uncomfortable in our own home.
I think it's pretty rude. If I (an atheist) am invited into someone's home and they pray, I'm happy to sit and be quiet until they are done (but no head bowing). If they want to come into my house and pray, I've got no problem with starting to pass the potatoes while they are still at it.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:41 AM   #27
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In general, we follow the house rules. But that doesn't mean that my kids have a free pass do stuff that we don't allow them to do.

They also know that people believe different things. We're very liberal atheists. My teenaged kids know that a certain aunt is extremely religious and very conservative, and that many subjects need to be avoided around her.

When they get together with said aunt's teens, the kids go off and talk about everything. My teens were quite surprised to hear that the cousins do not share my sister's beliefs about most things.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:48 AM   #28
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I think it depends on how it was done. If they said grace out loud knowing full well that your family does not share their beliefs, then yes, that is rude, presumptuous, and disrespectful. However, if they simply bowed their heads and said a silent prayer, It think that is perfectly fine.
I agree.
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:04 AM   #29
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:14 AM   #30
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This happened to us on Easter Sunday. In this particular case there is a lot of hypocrisy and obnoxiousness involved, so I was particularly disturbed, but didn't say anything as it's just my father's latest fad anyway and next time there will be something else.
We only know one family who does that on regular basis and while I don't like it very much in my house, as it implies that their Christian values "trump" my agnostic values in either house (or worse, that as an agnostic I don't have values), I don't say anything.
I've decided that those three seconds aren't important enough to create an awkward situation, but should it ever go any further than that (like discussions, promoting their belief to our daughter) I will step in.
I'm not sure I'm understanding here. Are you saying someone got tweaked over a prayer being said ............ On EASTER?
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