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Old 03-27-2013, 08:18 PM   #16
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I guess I don't get how you can say you love your Aunt, and you know she has been waiting on pins and needles to visit WDW with you, yet you don't want her in the parks with you. And begrudge her wanting to spend more than 2 days with you and your family.

I get she crashed your vacation, but if you really do love her and care about her I think you can suck it up this one time. Especially if she is older, and may not have another chance to do Disney with you and your family. If you cut her out of your trip now, I think you will regret it in the future.

Sometimes loving family members means loving those who are pushy. If you have enough bedrooms for her to stay with you and be comfortable I think you need to be a big person this time and let her enjoy being with family members who she seems to love and adore.
Because loving someone does not mean they are not obnoxious. Because loving someone does not mean they have the same vacationing style as you do. Because loving someone does not mean you automatically throw away everything that will make you and your family happy to suit them.

Loving and being a doormat? Not the same thing. OP has the right to not forfeit her plans or dispossess her kids without being told it means she doesn't love someone.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:08 PM   #17
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Because loving someone does not mean they are not obnoxious. Because loving someone does not mean they have the same vacationing style as you do. Because loving someone does not mean you automatically throw away everything that will make you and your family happy to suit them.

Loving and being a doormat? Not the same thing. OP has the right to not forfeit her plans or dispossess her kids without being told it means she doesn't love someone.
My thoughts exactly. If your aunt has the $$$ to spend on 4-day park hoppers, she can spring for a hotel room of her own. It's not fair of her to put you in this position to even have to say no. She should be aware that if you wanted her there, she would have been invited to stay.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:46 PM   #18
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I would check prices at the Wyndham Grand Bonnet Creek Hotel (attached to WBC) for those 2 nights and be very up front about being exited to spend those 2 days with her, but you want to focus on family time.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:00 AM   #19
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Because loving someone does not mean they are not obnoxious. Because loving someone does not mean they have the same vacationing style as you do. Because loving someone does not mean you automatically throw away everything that will make you and your family happy to suit them.

Loving and being a doormat? Not the same thing. OP has the right to not forfeit her plans or dispossess her kids without being told it means she doesn't love someone.
I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:30 AM   #20
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I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?
So the aunt has no fault in this for inviting herself and increasing her domination of their vacation? Just because you are old doesn't mean you have the right to expect others to bow down to your wishes. If it does then we have a he k of a mess coming when we have millions of old baby boomers in this country.

OP is compromising. The aunt can stay 2 days. What compromise has the aunt made?
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:40 AM   #21
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So the aunt has no fault in this for inviting herself and increasing her domination of their vacation? Just because you are old doesn't mean you have the right to expect others to bow down to your wishes. If it does then we have a he k of a mess coming when we have millions of old baby boomers in this country.

OP is compromising. The aunt can stay 2 days. What compromise has the aunt made?
I'm not saying the Aunt is faultless. But I'm saying if she is getting on in years, and this is something she has looked forward to for a long time, then the OP should be the bigger person. Sometimes that is what you do for family members. Not play tit for tat. I did this, now you do that.

And it could very well be that the OP would regret her actions if she tells her Aunt she is not welcome.

I think you are right though. If so many people don't treasure or honor their older family members, it is going to be a sad time in this country. What happened to having respect for your elders? It is pretty sad that an Aunt wanting to include themselves in a family trip equals them expecting someone to bow down to them.

I really get the feeling that many of you don't love and treasure any family members outside of your own immediate family. If you aren't a husband or wife or child you don't count for much. And that is very sad.

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Old 03-28-2013, 09:47 AM   #22
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That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.
Sometimes. But NOT doing so when it's going to be a problem doesn't make you some horrible person who doesn't love the imposer. The implication that the OP doesn't love her aunt if she doesn't let her have what she wants... that was awful. Loving someone does not automatically mean they get what they want at your expense every time- or you'd have to say the aunt doesn't love the OP. Which is also probably not true.

The OP should not be bullied or manipulated into changing her plans. Her feelings matter too.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:53 AM   #23
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Sometimes. But NOT doing so when it's going to be a problem doesn't make you some horrible person who doesn't love the imposer. The implication that the OP doesn't love her aunt if she doesn't let her have what she wants... that was awful. Loving someone does not automatically mean they get what they want at your expense every time- or you'd have to say the aunt doesn't love the OP. Which is also probably not true.

The OP should not be bullied or manipulated into changing her plans. Her feelings matter too.
Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:16 AM   #24
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Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.
maxiesmom - I agree with everything you have said. I'm not saying the OP is a bad person or heartless if she doesn't want her Aunt with her for the entire time, but she did say she is close to this Aunt and it could create wonderful memories for both her Aunt and her own immediate family to last for years to come.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:49 AM   #25
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I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?
I don't agree with this. The aunt can get a hotel. You don't get to make every member of an extended family miserable because you want something.

Disney vacations are EXPENSIVE. People do not have to cave to the demands of an unreasonable and selfish person to 'make nice'.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:51 AM   #26
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Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.
When I'm an older family member, I'll pay for my own hotel room and won't expect a teen boy to sleep in a living room on a rollaway couch because I can't be bothered to consider other people's comfort.

Being old is not an excuse for being selfish.

I have a lot of elderly family members. We travel together. They would be horrified at this story. It's just plain rudeness.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:30 PM   #27
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I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?
Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:23 PM   #28
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Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.
Ahh, that clarfies it a bit more. You are definitley not dealing with an 'elderly' aunt, so I understand more of where you're coming from. In this situation I would have no problem with saying 2 days (and only that) works. I wish you the best in resolving this situation with your Aunt.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:00 AM   #29
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Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.
OP it sounds like you know what you need to do for your family! I hope you have a great trip!
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Old 04-20-2013, 07:00 PM   #30
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