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Old 03-26-2013, 01:43 AM   #421
MScott1851
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On our first cruise we were seated with two other lovely, yet older (think our parents' ages) couples. They were all veteran cruisers and we enjoyed talking to them about itineraries they had sailed, different lines, etc. The other chairs were empty. One lady looked a little embarrassed and said, "well, my daughter and her boyfriend are sailing with us, but I think they had a little too much fun at the Sailaway."

Mid-meal, they stumble in, reeking of body odor, stale beer, coconut oil, and skunk weed. He's got on a pair of surfer shorts, midriff exposed sleeveless shirt, and I'm not certain he even had shoes on. She had a bikini top under a pair of cutoff overalls that showed her Hoo-ha off to god and everyone, and she was equally hammered. They, of course, were fiercely fighting about something that happened three minutes earlier.

Fast forward to two nights later, we had skipped one night to dine at a specialty venue, then returned to the MDR, only to find that the young couple had split up, and she had apparently taken another lover while on board, basically kicking the ex out of his own cabin. Her parents felt sorry for him and had taken him in to their cabin, and he was drowning his sorrows daily then still coming to dinner, as well as the girl and her new boy toy. Bachelor #1 is so inebriated that he can barely hold his head up, and food falls out of his mouth onto his shirtsleeves and table cloth, and he just leans down and gobbles them directly up like a dog, no flatware.

Bachelor #2 was almost as impressive. He spent most of the meal blustering about working out and bragging, making sexual innuendo about his new friends body, talking loudly about their escapades and creative uses of deck loungers, hot tubs, railings, small showers. Meanwhile she just sits there looking like she's in a Xanax fog, half-lidded grinning like a dopey idiot but never saying a word.

The whole table had been ordering appetizers to share all week, and same with entrees. If someone found something they liked,we would cut and offer a sample or simply order another for the table. Vice versa, if something was not well received, then the rest of the table got a small portion served to them so they could take a sample. Braggy loudmouth noticed that DH had moved some sun-dried tomatoes off to the side of his entree. He yelled, 'Hey! I love me some maters!" and went across Clints plate with his fork and proceeded to stab them and a good sized pork medallion. Upon which DH grabbed his arm and told him in no uncertain terms was he to NEVER sit by him again, much less try to eat off his plate again. After that, the last two nights of the cruise were quite lovely, and bachelorette and bachelor # 1 had a long ride back to Texas together, who knows what happened to beefcake #2?
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:39 AM   #422
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Originally Posted by MScott1851 View Post
On our first cruise we were seated with two other lovely, yet older (think our parents' ages) couples. They were all veteran cruisers and we enjoyed talking to them about itineraries they had sailed, different lines, etc. The other two chairs were empty. One lady looked a little embarrassed and said, "well, my daughter and her boyfriend are sailing with us, but I think they had a little too much fun at the Sailaway."

Mid-meal, they stumble in, reeking of body odor, stale beer, coconut oil, and skunk weed. He's got on a pair of surfer shorts, midriff exposed sleeveless shirt, and I'm not certain he even had shoes on. She had a bikini top under a pair of cutoff overalls that showed her Hoo-ha off to god and everyone, and she was equally hammered. They, of course, were fiercely fighting about something that happended three minutes earlier.

Fast forward to two nights later, we had skipped one night to dine at a specialty venue, then returned to the MDR, only to find that the young couple had split up, and she had apparently taken another lover while on board, basically kicking the ex out if his own cabin. Her parents felt sorry for him and had taken him in to their cabin, and he was drowning his sorrows daily then still coming to dinner, as well as the girl and her new boy toy. Bachelor #1 is so inebriated that he can barely hold his head up, and food falls out of his mouth onto his shirtsleeves and table cloth, and he just leans down and gobbles them directly up like a dog, no flatware.

Bachelor #2 was almost as impressive. He spent most of the meal blustering about working out and bragging, making sexual innuendo about his new friends body, talking loudly about their conquests and creative uses of deck loungers, hot tubs, railings, small showers. Meanwhile she just sits there looking like she's in a Xanax fog, half-lidded grinning like a dopey idiot but never saying a word.

The whole table had been ordering appetizers to share all week, and same with entrees. If someone found something they liked,we would cut and offer a sample or simply order another for the table. Vice versa, if something was not well received, then the rest of the table got a small portion served to them to sample. Braggy loudmouth noticed that DH had moved some sun-dried tomatoes off to the side of his entree. He yelled, 'Hey! I love me some maters!" and went across Clints plate with his fork and proceeded to stab them and a good sized pork medallion. Upon which DH grabbed his arm and told him in no uncertain terms was he to NEVER sit by him again, much less try to eat off his plate again. After that, the last two nights of the cruise were quite lovely, and bachelorette and bachelor # 1 had a long ride back to Texas together, who knows what happened to beefcake #2?
No way! Are you sure this wasn't an episode of the Bad Girls Club, The Real World, Teen Mom2, Love Cruise, Temptation Island or Keeping up with the skanky panty sniffing Kardashians?
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:10 AM   #423
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That's when it's time to make a request to the head server for a different table/rotation. Dh really enjoys dinner time on a cruise; I wouldn't want anything to ruin that for him. We usually cruise with enough people that we have our own tablemates.
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Old 03-26-2013, 08:47 AM   #424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MScott1851
On our first cruise we were seated with two other lovely, yet older (think our parents' ages) couples. They were all veteran cruisers and we enjoyed talking to them about itineraries they had sailed, different lines, etc. The other two chairs were empty. One lady looked a little embarrassed and said, "well, my daughter and her boyfriend are sailing with us, but I think they had a little too much fun at the Sailaway."

Mid-meal, they stumble in, reeking of body odor, stale beer, coconut oil, and skunk weed. He's got on a pair of surfer shorts, midriff exposed sleeveless shirt, and I'm not certain he even had shoes on. She had a bikini top under a pair of cutoff overalls that showed her Hoo-ha off to god and everyone, and she was equally hammered. They, of course, were fiercely fighting about something that happended three minutes earlier.

Fast forward to two nights later, we had skipped one night to dine at a specialty venue, then returned to the MDR, only to find that the young couple had split up, and she had apparently taken another lover while on board, basically kicking the ex out if his own cabin. Her parents felt sorry for him and had taken him in to their cabin, and he was drowning his sorrows daily then still coming to dinner, as well as the girl and her new boy toy. Bachelor #1 is so inebriated that he can barely hold his head up, and food falls out of his mouth onto his shirtsleeves and table cloth, and he just leans down and gobbles them directly up like a dog, no flatware.

Bachelor #2 was almost as impressive. He spent most of the meal blustering about working out and bragging, making sexual innuendo about his new friends body, talking loudly about their conquests and creative uses of deck loungers, hot tubs, railings, small showers. Meanwhile she just sits there looking like she's in a Xanax fog, half-lidded grinning like a dopey idiot but never saying a word.

The whole table had been ordering appetizers to share all week, and same with entrees. If someone found something they liked,we would cut and offer a sample or simply order another for the table. Vice versa, if something was not well received, then the rest of the table got a small portion served to them to sample. Braggy loudmouth noticed that DH had moved some sun-dried tomatoes off to the side of his entree. He yelled, 'Hey! I love me some maters!" and went across Clints plate with his fork and proceeded to stab them and a good sized pork medallion. Upon which DH grabbed his arm and told him in no uncertain terms was he to NEVER sit by him again, much less try to eat off his plate again. After that, the last two nights of the cruise were quite lovely, and bachelorette and bachelor # 1 had a long ride back to Texas together, who knows what happened to beefcake #2?
Wow, that is crazy!!! This is what worries me about going on a cruise.....having tablemates that are obnoxious!!!

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Old 03-26-2013, 10:04 AM   #425
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Well, I didn’t actually see this but I thought the story was funny.

DH and I usually cruise with my parents. My DF loves to sleep to the sound of the waves so he would make up a bed on the balcony floor with the bedspread and pillows and sleep out there at night.

Around 3am, he wakes to a very loud rumbling sound and thinks that the ship is about to be rammed. He starts to scramble up when a huge wave of water washes into the balcony, soaking him, the bedspread and pillows so now he is thinking tidal wave. He gets the balcony door open, as water is still pouring in, and falls into the cabin as the bedspread is twisted around his legs and feet.

Luckily he was ok…just wounded pride. It was the window washing machine up above at the buffet restaurant going off.
Good one!
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:12 AM   #426
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Several years ago, while I was first in line at GS, they were trying to help a special needs teen find her group. She was crying because she couldn't find them. While the CMs were trying to keep her calm (one CM decided to walk her to where the teens were meeting) this guy in shorts, flipflops and no shirt storms up and is yelling "I want to talk to the Capatin, I am not leaving until I talk to the Captain, the bunk bed ladder is missing and my son needs to go to sleep". And on and on. Then he started swearing. "I want my @#$%^&* ladder." "Please sir we will help you as soon as we take care of this young lady." The outcome? I don't know, I left, I figured I would just come back later.
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:32 AM   #427
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I just remembered an experience we had in Remy on our last cruise, I can't believe it took me so long to remember and post about it. It's all about... duh duh duh.... The. Couple.

The. Couple. came in with another couple and the four of them were at the table next to us. The. Couple. proceeded to talk loudly enough for everyone in the restaurant to know that they were WELL OFF AND FANCY PEOPLE.

Although I heard much about the background of The. Couple., I’m not sure the other couple they were with ever talked. I do know that they apparently own a restaurant and/or work at/run a country club in the city in which I live because The. Couple. mentioned it a couple of times. The. Couple., on the other hand, live in San Francisco. Due to these discrepancies I made up my own backstory in which The. Couple. met the other couple that day on the ship and invited them to join them. The other couple was then silenced by regret, intimidation, and the total realization that they were totally engulfed by some major douchbaggery going on. At least I know they didn’t have to pay for it. How do I know? The very first thing the woman of the The. Couple. (now The Woman) said to the other couple was “Don’t worry about the cost. This is on us since we made you guys come. And, of course, we’ll have the wine pairing.”

I just happened to have some paper in my purse so I decided to be totally gauche and I wrote down some choice quotes from the night as they occurred. For those of you who may not know, I just want to give some background information: 1) before the meal starts, there’s an “Amuse Bouche” course which is basically just “a single, bite-sized hors d’oevure,…different from appetizers in that they are not ordered from a menu by patrons, but, when served, are done so for free and according to the chef’s selection alone” (thanks Wikipedia); 2) The restaurant has an actual sommelier who comes out and serves the wine and gives you background on it; 3) all of the wines are French.

I have to admit that once The. Couple. was seated my husband and I actually stopped talking to each other and just listened to them for the rest of the night. Ladies and Gentleman, my entertainment with my excellent meal:

“Without you, I’d be like that guy from American Psycho. Before he killed everybody.”

“You have Bojangles where you live, correct? God, Bojangles. Disgusting. Even the name sounds disgusting. Isn’t it a step down from McDonald’s?” (This only means something to people who are from or have spent any time in the South and believe me when I say THEM’S FIGHTING WORDS. Bojangles is heaven.)

“Hmm. This is not really an amuse bouche.”

“Now, where exactly in this region did this wine come from? My brother has a house in that region.”

(Upon being served one of the gourmet courses) “We have this at home all the time.”

(Upon the sommelier talking about the region of France a wine came from) “Oh, I love it there. They have beautiful chateaus.”

“We have all kinds of this wine in our own cellar.”

“People who like Notre Dame are going to be disappointed. They’re going to undergo a scandal like Penn State.”

“Oh, Warren is applying to high school. Some of them cost $30,000.00 a year, but no matter. He’ll come out better than our daughter who is majoring in print journalism. Such a dying field.”

The Woman spent about 20 minutes telling the other couple how to run their restaurant and the events they should have. She wrapped up that portion of the conversation with “You can even get lesbians to come!”

The sommelier is pouring them another glass of wine. The Woman sniffs it and says rapturously to him: “It smells like manure and blueberries.”

I swear, every single word of that is true.

The other thing that happened on this cruise, which was the NYE Dream cruise, is that Geraldo was on it and had the same dining rotation as my family. On NYE we were in Animator's Palate and were leaving the restaurant, passed his table just as a totally drunk woman stumbled up to his table, yelling, "Geraldo!! I LOVE YOU!"
This is why my husband and I request our own table always.
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:34 AM   #428
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No way! Are you sure this wasn't an episode of the Bad Girls Club, The Real World, Teen Mom2, Love Cruise, Temptation Island or Keeping up with the skanky panty sniffing Kardashians?
I kid you not. It was NOT on DCL, though. We have had some real winners since then, too. I've learned to request a table for two or cruise with a group. Lets see, me and a girlfriend got seated at 'the single ladies table' once...we were in our 20's, the rest in their 40's & 50's. Two were VERY religious, praying before each meal and two were cougars looking to party, slipping room keys to bartenders. My brother & I cruised together once and got seated with another couple at a booth. Her boyfriend said , "Hey, she is a nurse, too!' referring to his girlfriend so I thought at least we'd have that in common. Turns out she worked in a dialysis clinic answering phones and they both stayed so drunk on the boat and he was apparently so high both on and off the boat that she would come to dinner alone and order, he would show up after the food came, gobble, pick his teeth and complain, then leave.
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Old 03-26-2013, 11:00 AM   #429
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MScott1851 View Post
On our first cruise we were seated with two other lovely, yet older (think our parents' ages) couples. They were all veteran cruisers and we enjoyed talking to them about itineraries they had sailed, different lines, etc. The other chairs were empty. One lady looked a little embarrassed and said, "well, my daughter and her boyfriend are sailing with us, but I think they had a little too much fun at the Sailaway."

Mid-meal, they stumble in, reeking of body odor, stale beer, coconut oil, and skunk weed. He's got on a pair of surfer shorts, midriff exposed sleeveless shirt, and I'm not certain he even had shoes on. She had a bikini top under a pair of cutoff overalls that showed her Hoo-ha off to god and everyone, and she was equally hammered. They, of course, were fiercely fighting about something that happened three minutes earlier.

Fast forward to two nights later, we had skipped one night to dine at a specialty venue, then returned to the MDR, only to find that the young couple had split up, and she had apparently taken another lover while on board, basically kicking the ex out of his own cabin. Her parents felt sorry for him and had taken him in to their cabin, and he was drowning his sorrows daily then still coming to dinner, as well as the girl and her new boy toy. Bachelor #1 is so inebriated that he can barely hold his head up, and food falls out of his mouth onto his shirtsleeves and table cloth, and he just leans down and gobbles them directly up like a dog, no flatware.

Bachelor #2 was almost as impressive. He spent most of the meal blustering about working out and bragging, making sexual innuendo about his new friends body, talking loudly about their escapades and creative uses of deck loungers, hot tubs, railings, small showers. Meanwhile she just sits there looking like she's in a Xanax fog, half-lidded grinning like a dopey idiot but never saying a word.

The whole table had been ordering appetizers to share all week, and same with entrees. If someone found something they liked,we would cut and offer a sample or simply order another for the table. Vice versa, if something was not well received, then the rest of the table got a small portion served to them so they could take a sample. Braggy loudmouth noticed that DH had moved some sun-dried tomatoes off to the side of his entree. He yelled, 'Hey! I love me some maters!" and went across Clints plate with his fork and proceeded to stab them and a good sized pork medallion. Upon which DH grabbed his arm and told him in no uncertain terms was he to NEVER sit by him again, much less try to eat off his plate again. After that, the last two nights of the cruise were quite lovely, and bachelorette and bachelor # 1 had a long ride back to Texas together, who knows what happened to beefcake #2?
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Old 03-26-2013, 11:25 AM   #430
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There are no words
Oh yes there are..... we just don't want to use them!

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Old 03-26-2013, 08:32 PM   #431
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Wow, these are some doozies! We are cruising Saturday. I wonder If i will have anything to report?
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:41 PM   #432
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I was on a Northern European Capitals Cruise in 2010 with my daughter, and we were sitting in Parrot Cay (our table was right next to one of the huge portholes) having dinner in the middle of the Baltic Sea, on Pirate's Night. While we were eating, we saw the top of a submarine right next to the ship. When word got around the dining room, everybody was rushing to the windows on our side to see the submarine. We assumed the Baltic officials might be in the submarine in an attempt to watch the boat and make sure there weren't any fireworks, due to the fact that they weren't allowing the display in the Baltic. It was quite a sight though.
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:48 PM   #433
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Snow White and Dopey

Just off the Dream. First ever cruise! The first night, we decided to watch "Lincoln" late in the theater as I had not seen it yet. Before the movie started, I went to use the rest room and saw Snow White and Dopey wandering around the halls. As I came out of the rest room, they were in the hallway outside the theater. As it was St. Patrick's Day, I was wearing my Stitch t-shirt that is blue and green tye-dye that has Stitch "eating" the shirt. I had the best interaction with Snow White and Dopey (and of coarse no camera with me!). Snow White noticed Stitch "eating" my shirt and Dopey was acting scared. They stayed and talked with me for at least 5 minutes before heading off. I vowed to have a camera on me at all times from then on! Love Disney!
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:57 PM   #434
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I have read this entire thread!!!

The grossest thing I have ever seen was on our honeymoon cruise a little over 10 years ago. It was a sea day and we were lounging by the pool. There was a couple across from us. I look up from my book to see the woman popping the zits on the man's back
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:23 PM   #435
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I have read this entire thread!!!

The grossest thing I have ever seen was on our honeymoon cruise a little over 10 years ago. It was a sea day and we were lounging by the pool. There was a couple across from us. I look up from my book to see the woman popping the zits on the man's back
Can your reserve that service ahead of time or just when you're on the ship?
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