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Old 03-26-2013, 01:43 AM   #11
MScott1851
Got a link for those Trip Reports? ;)
Type A Travel Planner
I'm a complete sucker for a drop dead gorgeous dress and strappy heels
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Memphis, TN but still an Alabama girl at heart!!
Posts: 3,200

On our first cruise we were seated with two other lovely, yet older (think our parents' ages) couples. They were all veteran cruisers and we enjoyed talking to them about itineraries they had sailed, different lines, etc. The other chairs were empty. One lady looked a little embarrassed and said, "well, my daughter and her boyfriend are sailing with us, but I think they had a little too much fun at the Sailaway."

Mid-meal, they stumble in, reeking of body odor, stale beer, coconut oil, and skunk weed. He's got on a pair of surfer shorts, midriff exposed sleeveless shirt, and I'm not certain he even had shoes on. She had a bikini top under a pair of cutoff overalls that showed her Hoo-ha off to god and everyone, and she was equally hammered. They, of course, were fiercely fighting about something that happened three minutes earlier.

Fast forward to two nights later, we had skipped one night to dine at a specialty venue, then returned to the MDR, only to find that the young couple had split up, and she had apparently taken another lover while on board, basically kicking the ex out of his own cabin. Her parents felt sorry for him and had taken him in to their cabin, and he was drowning his sorrows daily then still coming to dinner, as well as the girl and her new boy toy. Bachelor #1 is so inebriated that he can barely hold his head up, and food falls out of his mouth onto his shirtsleeves and table cloth, and he just leans down and gobbles them directly up like a dog, no flatware.

Bachelor #2 was almost as impressive. He spent most of the meal blustering about working out and bragging, making sexual innuendo about his new friends body, talking loudly about their escapades and creative uses of deck loungers, hot tubs, railings, small showers. Meanwhile she just sits there looking like she's in a Xanax fog, half-lidded grinning like a dopey idiot but never saying a word.

The whole table had been ordering appetizers to share all week, and same with entrees. If someone found something they liked,we would cut and offer a sample or simply order another for the table. Vice versa, if something was not well received, then the rest of the table got a small portion served to them so they could take a sample. Braggy loudmouth noticed that DH had moved some sun-dried tomatoes off to the side of his entree. He yelled, 'Hey! I love me some maters!" and went across Clints plate with his fork and proceeded to stab them and a good sized pork medallion. Upon which DH grabbed his arm and told him in no uncertain terms was he to NEVER sit by him again, much less try to eat off his plate again. After that, the last two nights of the cruise were quite lovely, and bachelorette and bachelor # 1 had a long ride back to Texas together, who knows what happened to beefcake #2?
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