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Old 03-20-2013, 09:58 AM   #16
wdwmom3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M2B
I "think" here, mediation is required before a lawyer. Or you're supposed to attempt mediation before going through a lawyer. That may only apply to couples who hare divorcing though I don't know.

Right now the mom's parents are in "we'll get you" mode. I understand that to some extent but I'm hoping they'll cool off and realize that A) these needs to be their daughter's decisions, and B) there will be a baby caught in the middle of all of this.
I agree usually mediation is the way to go. But she has already made comment like you will never see this child etc. this is not the same as when parents are together when the child is born and later breaks up. The bonding that occurs during the first few weeks of life is very precious and important for a bond to be established by both parents. She may try and keep him from seeing the baby and she has no legal right to do this. He would not want to miss those precious first weeks so he should be prepared with a lawyer ready to file a court motion before the baby is born just in case she refuses visitation.

The norm in this situation would be very frequent short visits so as not to interfere with breast feeding etc. the visits may also be where the baby lives at first. If that bond is established early and the father is a very active part of the baby's life longer visits leading to overnight will occur several months later.

I know all this because of the issues with my youngest ds's father. The only difference is he is scum and really has shown no interest in seeing our son. I actually begged him to visit his son and he rarely did. So now I have a 2 1/2 year old who does not know his real father (I have been with an amazing man for over a year and they are super close) and an idiot who thinks he should now just be able to take his son for the weekends. It's been over a year since he has seen him.

Sorry for going on but it's a rough morning as I have been bombarded with emails from him telling me how I'm being unreasonable for not just sending him there for the weekend. Kind of tough .

To the op I will keep your ds in my thoughts I know from experience it's not easy.
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Old 03-20-2013, 01:40 PM   #17
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getting back to the question-Skype is wonderful.....Make sure you stay in touch with him.....
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Old 03-20-2013, 03:42 PM   #18
M2B
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wdwmom, I'm not sure mediation and parenting classes are an option here. Again though that's in the case of divorce.

I am quite sure though that he can't do anything really until the baby is born. In the mean time we will hope cooler heads prevail and nothing more happens while we are gone.

I agree though, those first few weeks are so important! Visitation would likely be happening at her place, and if necessary we (he!) can request a court ordered third party be present.

I say "we" because "we" will be paying the legal fees.

Thanks everyone! It helps to just get the thoughts out of my head. I just added 30 mins US calling to each cell phone and made sure we can text without a huge bill. He can call my parents, too. They aren't close but they're good at listening and talking him through stuff.
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Old 03-20-2013, 04:54 PM   #19
wdwmom3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M2B
wdwmom, I'm not sure mediation and parenting classes are an option here. Again though that's in the case of divorce.

I am quite sure though that he can't do anything really until the baby is born. In the mean time we will hope cooler heads prevail and nothing more happens while we are gone.

I agree though, those first few weeks are so important! Visitation would likely be happening at her place, and if necessary we (he!) can request a court ordered third party be present.

I say "we" because "we" will be paying the legal fees.

Thanks everyone! It helps to just get the thoughts out of my head. I just added 30 mins US calling to each cell phone and made sure we can text without a huge bill. He can call my parents, too. They aren't close but they're good at listening and talking him through stuff.
I really hope things work out. These situations are not good for anyone especially the kids. I really do hope you have a good trip. I'm sure he will be ok. ((hugs))
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Old 03-21-2013, 08:44 PM   #20
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I am starting to get excited for the trip again. Especially with the mid-January type weather we're having!
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:21 AM   #21
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This should be okay while we're gone. They've texted a bit and have determined that he will be kept in the loop baby wise. He will be supportive of her decisions, and if she decides to continue the pregnancy he will be "supportive all through." Now if they can just stay on this track.

And.. I have a to do list a mile long!! And pure crap for roads to deal with while I get stuff done. *sigh* No snow in Florida, no snow in Florida... repeat.
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:31 AM   #22
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I cannot imagine what you are all going through but like other said get a lawyer and yes he has right. IF she e-mails or text him I would get him to start to save everything as documentation in what she's saying with refusing him to be there for his child as this will not look good on her part. Also make sure a DNA is done as soon as the baby is born just to be 100% sure.
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Old 03-23-2013, 07:46 AM   #23
wdwmom3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M2B
This should be okay while we're gone. They've texted a bit and have determined that he will be kept in the loop baby wise. He will be supportive of her decisions, and if she decides to continue the pregnancy he will be "supportive all through." Now if they can just stay on this track.

And.. I have a to do list a mile long!! And pure crap for roads to deal with while I get stuff done. *sigh* No snow in Florida, no snow in Florida... repeat.
So glad things have settled down for now.

Doesn't this snow suck. I'm so tired of it. We leave for WDW in 3 weeks so at least I know we will have some warmth then lol.
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