|03-20-2013, 12:52 PM||#16|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Here's what finally made it all click for me. I apologize for the length ahead of time.
My brother and his wife are slim people. For the years I was too big AND unwilling to do anything about it, I was jealous. They were just skinny, it was so easy, it wasn't fair, I didn't think I ate any more than they did. (meanwhile when I visited them I would go to Trader Joes, get a container of their Dunkers cookies, hide it in my room and eat it all MYSELF inside a week or two visit so I didn't have to eat dessert in front of them)
As I got closer to realizing that walking was hard, my asthma wasn't getting any better, I didn't feel good EVER, and all the rest of the true health concerns that were happening with me (like having one lower leg swell up like crazy while on our Feb 2012 disney/universal trip), and that I did need to do something, I let the truth in about them, too. They work hard.
If my brother wants a decadent dessert, he doesn't have a beer also. If he wants to eat a big dinner AND have some beers, he does an extra-long run in the morning and the following morning as well. For the year or so that he had an undiagnosed hernia (he knew it was there...the trick was to get the doctors to look beyond the fact that he's a runner and believe that he ALSO had this other pain) and could not run, he swam for hours, every day, to try to burn off the calories. And he was frustrated by what was probably a 10-20 lb gain over that year, because for him (and for me as well) hours of swimming just doesn't work the way an hour of running does. Once he had his surgery and recovered, he got back to running as soon as he felt safe to do so, and it dropped off.
My sister in law has always been a Small, but I've seen her go up and down inside of the same basic size, based on how busy she was and if my brother could convince her to work out with him. She's a very driven, busy person, but if she has half an hour free she will nap instead of doing anything else. Getting her up early for a run is very difficult. And so she controls her size with watching her intake instead. She doesn't make any sort of deal over it; she has a small appetite and she doesn't force herself to eat more than she wants. Once she is done she has her food boxed up, and generally doesn't eat more of it; my brother works from home so he often has it for lunch the next day (and if they've been to Cheesecake Factory, the following day after that as well). She eats what she LOVES and follows her stomach. They don't really cook, so dessert (when they have it) is ice cream, or they buy the pre-shaped cookies that you pull off and put in the oven. They will make, literally, two. One for him, one for her. That's IT. That's all they want.
I think the last straw for me was seeing her eat *half* of the single serving "tubs" of Haagen Dasz ice cream, and seeing that she was satisfied with it.
Later I learned that one of those single servings was 8 points, and I realized that it made sense to be satisfied with even just half!
Anyway, I look at them as "normal". If a waistband gets tight, they do something about it right away. (and not like I did, blaming it on the wash)
The way I was eating was NOT normal. I'm 5'3", I've always been prone to putting on weight. Worse, I'm muscular and if you get a friend of mine of the same height and in the same size as me on a scale, I weigh more because of it (I love being strong but that really messed with my head for a LONG time). I was splurging at every meal, every day. Too much cereal, too much milk, too much sugar, too much half and half. Too much dinner, too much salad dressing, too much lunch, too much dessert...way too much dessert. If you do that to yourself every day, you're not going to be small for long.
I realized that life isn't always fair, and that I'm never going to be able to eat "like I want" and look how I want to look at the same time. (nowadays I would really have to work, to punish myself, to get to the point where I could eat like before...I would have to really really want to gain that weight back, so the "eat like I want" part isn't how I feel anymore)
IMO I'm learning to eat like a normal person. If, as I go along, I have a period of time where I gain some, I'll strive to do what a "normal" person does...get those few pounds OFF as soon as possible, rather than let it get to my head and choose to eat more and gain more.
I've done "diets" before, which are intended for a limited amount of time. As a young teen I followed a Marie Osmond diet which involved something like HALF a piece of toast, some tiny amount of egg, and just absolutely tiny portions of food. It worked, oh wow it worked, but it wasn't sustainable. I couldn't eat like that forever.
While WW is a "diet" because it's a "way of eating" and it's less than you would eat once you hit your goal, it's not like THAT diet. They do teach us good ways of eating
I'm drinking coffee and tea today (we didn't have enough coffee for a whole day's worth) with sugar and half and half. As I ALWAYS do. 2T of half/half is a point. As is 1T of sugar (I keep a 1/2 T measure in the sugar container to make it easy on myself). At my last WW meeting I bought what is intended to be a salad dressing cruet, but the leader discovered that if you put your liquid coffee creamer (or half/half in my case) in it, it's great for a quick pour of cream/er into the coffee. It's easier and faster (and mentally FEELS like more, or at least feels less stingy) than measuring tablespoons. I'm enjoying it.
While I don't eat pasta that often, that wasn't a thought-out choice of mine...it just sort of happened, because there's so much other good stuff to eat. Same with beer, I've lowered my consumption of that to ONLY what is absolutely delicious. Which means I rarely have it, because my tastes in beer had already changed before that. Other alcohols are the same. I just don't seem to *want* it much anymore. But that's not necessary; one of our Lifetime members drinks wine ALL the time. (it's really low alcohol wine, but still, she drinks it a lot) Our leader enjoys her nights out with her friends, too, with wine and merriment.
I eat rice more often than pasta, but it's sort of self-limited as well. When I eat it, I measure it out, work it into my day, it's all good.
I routinely have Milano cookies in the pantry. We have chocolate truffles in the pantry, too. Those have actually been amazing...2 years ago they would have been gone in days (they were the pretty 2-pack from Costco back around December), but we've just now opened the second box. 4 of them is 6 points, and if you sit with them on a plate and have a glass of milk (or soymilk, etc) and eat them slowly, it's quite nice. This far into it, I realize that it's so much more gratifying than shoveling them into my mouth.
I obsessed about food before in a negative way. Now I'm obsessed with measuring food and trying to eat the good stuff (and have points for dessert...which is a big reason I exercise, LOL). Last night I discovered the sweet spot of grams where roasted/unsalted peanuts were 5 points, not 6. And I had the max for 5; I don't do that often, many times I take the minimum for 5 points. But I was HUNGRY last night and wanted those extra. Had the last of my Honeydukes Dark Chocolate bar as well from last month's Universal trip.
Taking this back to WDW, we did bring our collapsible measuring cups (from the kit you can buy with the 360 program) and I think we measured out half/half some mornings but that's it. I tried to listen to my stomach for most of the time. I might have finished the Schoolbread from Norway when my stomach was questioning my decision...I had the grand marnier souffle the last night on the cruise even though I was full of Indian food. And I stuffed myself with deliciousness at Tusker House. All the other meals and days? Ate to satisfaction. My overriding feeling of this trip was of not being hungry; tried to not get to big hunger and tried to not get to the point of being stuffed.
I can't help but feel that that's the way my brother and his wife do it. They enjoy themselves without going over the top with things. They want to do nothing but ENJOY their food; they don't want to be miserable because of it.
So I'm just trying to learn to eat like them, because I think they are "normal". WW is the tool I'm using to get there.
Now you'll see from the previous post that this is my 4th time through. The other 3 times gave me success, but I gave up. WW didn't fail me; I did. The times I've "dieted" it worked, and then I stopped dieting, and that didn't work, LOL. I've never once hit a goal while dieting or WW'ing. I freak out before I get there. It's such a mental and emotional thing, to lose weight. I remember doing WW the first time, and spending the summer in a different state, training people, and I hit some weight where you couldn't tell from waist up that I had much extra fat on me, and the instant that happened, some creeper followed me as we drove for miles and miles, coming up next to me, leering, dropping back and continuing to follow me. Thankfully my workplace was above the police station, and the creep turned off when I turned to park, but that caused some bigtime backsliding. If that was going to happen the instant I felt "pretty", you could take being pretty! Or just getting an extra smile from a man at a grocery store, where before you were overlooked? Nice to have a smile, but scary, too.
Anyway, losing weight involves mental and emotional work and changes, along with the simple act of physically stopping yourself from eating too much. There are MANY reasons why we give up on diets. Why we might get to Lifetime, eat the points that you get for maintenance, and then slowly let the extra food creep onto our plate and let the extra weight creep back onto our bodies. There's SO much involved. All we can do is commit to work at it. Commit to try. Every day, every meal, just work at it. We make choices about foods ALL the time, so the goal is to make better choices that allow us to eat decently and be healthy at the same time.
|03-20-2013, 01:31 PM||#18|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Since I am a runner, I have a tendency to relate EVERYTHING to running! When I'm training for a race, I have to be accountable and honest with myself. If I'm having a bad day, I can't abandon my entire training. I have to just start back tomorrow and forget about today, but when I'm training, I have to be honest with myself. If I cheat myself on a run today, it will possibly hurt me on my race. One day doesn't completely derail all my training, but enough days of short-changing my runs or forgetting them altogether will have a major effect on it.
Once you've made yourself accountable, I think it becomes so much easier. This is another something just for me that has helped is I'm an uber planner. WW helps DW and I not having one of those "where do you want to go?"/"I don't know, where do you want to go?" and then being indecisive about what to eat. I don't do that with WW most days as I try to plan things out. It works better for my personality.
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