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Old 02-14-2013, 08:03 PM   #211
scoutie
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Jess I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I work closely with a woman who has been desperately trying to adopt a CHILD (not baby) from foster care for years. She's single, which is why many adoption agencies won't consider her. She has fostered kids for years, but each time the child gets placed back with the biological family. I have two very close friends who have been on a waiting list to adopt an infant for three to five years.

There are not thousands of healthy infants waiting to be placed in homes. There just aren't.

I understand that anecdotal evidence isn't satisfactory, so here is a reliable source. There's plenty of information here.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemw...s/adoption.cfm

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/ressta.html

If you don't want to wade through the massive papers of documentation, here is one excerpt"

Quote:
The NSFG survey found that women currently seeking to adopt
indicated a preference for a child younger than 2 years old,
without a disability, and a single child rather than a sibling
group characteristics that are less common in children in the
foster care system than other traits
.
I want you to be right--I'd run to my desperately waiting friends and tell them about these thousands of babies that are waiting for them.

Last edited by scoutie; 02-14-2013 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 02-14-2013, 11:18 PM   #212
LuvinLucifer
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Originally Posted by North of Mouse View Post
Like you say there are too many couples out there now waiting desperately to adopt for there to be these healthy babies *ready right now* to adopt.

Again, I thank you, and would love for her to tell me a city and state and I'll get the word out.
I feel the same. I have know several people for whom it would be the answer to their prayers to adopt one these elusive infants she claims are available.
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Old 02-15-2013, 07:57 AM   #213
Kennywife
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deleted.

Last edited by Kennywife; 02-15-2013 at 08:11 AM. Reason: meant to open up a new thread.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:09 AM   #214
scoutie
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I was talking about this thread with one of my friends who wants to adopt. She's also confused about the claims made on this thread. Jess Do you have the information on all of the babies that are waiting to be adopted? I'm not being snarky. I know it's a long shot, but it's worth looking into.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:28 AM   #215
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Originally Posted by scoutie View Post
I was talking about this thread with one of my friends who wants to adopt. She's also confused about the claims made on this thread. Jess Do you have the information on all of the babies that are waiting to be adopted? I'm not being snarky. I know it's a long shot, but it's worth looking into.
Yep, that's what several of us are trying to find out. But, after making all these claims about all the healthy infants ready and waiting to be adopted, Jess has conspicuously disappeared.

Final analysis, there are NOT thousands of HEALTHY INFANTS out there ready and waiting to be adopted, and she knows it. Otherwise she could point out some places, instead of portions of vague internet sites.

Our niece is finally sighing final papers on her 14 mo. old little girl this month after fostering her for 11mos. going through the *agony* each day that she could be taken away any time.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:10 PM   #216
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Originally Posted by North of Mouse View Post
Yep, that's what several of us are trying to find out. But, after making all these claims about all the healthy infants ready and waiting to be adopted, Jess has conspicuously disappeared.
She's on the site right now. I kind of wish she'd come back and prove us all wrong and direct someone waiting to adopt to all these infants in need.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:29 PM   #217
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She's on the site right now. I kind of wish she'd come back and prove us all wrong and direct someone waiting to adopt to all these infants in need.
For sure!
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:18 PM   #218
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I think the best fit should be the one to adopt regardless of fertility...

Just like I think the best applicant should get the job, regardless of whether they are currently employed or not.
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Old 02-22-2013, 02:57 PM   #219
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Originally Posted by Gumbo4x4 View Post
I think she needs to go to the back of the line. BTW, anyone concerned about pregnancy wrecking her body seems to be pretty delusional about the sacrifices required of parenting.
Amen!
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Old 02-23-2013, 09:04 PM   #220
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Husband works for Child Protective Services in a large city. He's a supervisor in the continuing case unit-- gets the kids once they are assigned to long term case workers. I asked him about the idea that there are a lot of infants waiting to be adopted. He said no-- the system isn't set up that way. There are many things that have to happen before parental rights are terminated, and when they are, they want to first place the child with a family member if possible, and will look far and wide to find someone-- he has kids placed with family they never saw before halfway across the country.

The one exception is if the mother terminates all parental rights very early, but they still look for family first. The goal of the public system is family reunification. Most kids linger in the system unless a judge decides to terminate parental rights (and this is a huge big deal-- and takes many years of the parent refusing to follow judicial orders to get clean, get a job, go to parenting classes, or repeatedly abusing the child, etc).

And he says this is determined by federal law, not each individual state.

I know this is a long way from the original post, but just wanted to put in the little knowledge I have on the topic.

As for the original question-- we went through three international adoptions (two successful, one failed while in country) and already had two bio kids. The statement the woman made, or other things she said, must have raised red flags to the social worker doing the interview. We had to do three interviews, together, then each separate, then have a home visit. Had to submit background checks, references, essays, etc. And this was for China, special needs, which was one of the easiest programs back when we adopted. And adoption social workers want you to pass the homestudy. If someone is refused, the social worker had to be really troubled.
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Old 02-23-2013, 09:12 PM   #221
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Originally Posted by skoi View Post
Husband works for Child Protective Services in a large city. He's a supervisor in the continuing case unit-- gets the kids once they are assigned to long term case workers. I asked him about the idea that there are a lot of infants waiting to be adopted. He said no-- the system isn't set up that way. There are many things that have to happen before parental rights are terminated, and when they are, they want to first place the child with a family member if possible, and will look far and wide to find someone-- he has kids placed with family they never saw before halfway across the country.

The one exception is if the mother terminates all parental rights very early, but they still look for family first. The goal of the public system is family reunification. Most kids linger in the system unless a judge decides to terminate parental rights (and this is a huge big deal-- and takes many years of the parent refusing to follow judicial orders to get clean, get a job, go to parenting classes, or repeatedly abusing the child, etc).

And he says this is determined by federal law, not each individual state.

I know this is a long way from the original post, but just wanted to put in the little knowledge I have on the topic.

As for the original question-- we went through three international adoptions (two successful, one failed while in country) and already had two bio kids. The statement the woman made, or other things she said, must have raised red flags to the social worker doing the interview. We had to do three interviews, together, then each separate, then have a home visit. Had to submit background checks, references, essays, etc. And this was for China, special needs, which was one of the easiest programs back when we adopted. And adoption social workers want you to pass the homestudy. If someone is refused, the social worker had to be really troubled.
Yes. My son used to clerk for a family court judge. After a couple of years, he couldn't take it anymore. He said it made him sick the way the laws kept handing children back to parents who were rotten to the core and had no business being parents.
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Old 02-23-2013, 10:18 PM   #222
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Yes. My son used to clerk for a family court judge. After a couple of years, he couldn't take it anymore. He said it made him sick the way the laws kept handing children back to parents who were rotten to the core and had no business being parents.
Makes my dh sick as well. But it's how the laws are written. Family reunification is the thing to do. And this is one of the main reasons we chose to adopt internationally (and we caught, and still catch a lot of abuse for that-- why didn't you adopt an American kid???-- well, we didn't feel we could deal with the issues of a child who was severely abused/ neglected and couldn't afford private adoption-- no birth mom in private adoption would pick a family with a little house in the city, only dad worked, mom stayed home and home schooled and there wasn't tons of excess cash, so we looked international. Have two great kids-- special needs (by choice) with a lot of challenges, but we love them and embrace their differences.
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