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Old 02-20-2013, 03:48 PM   #31
Colleen27
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Money was right there with sex as things that didn't really get talked about in our home, so I didn't get a whole lot of lessons from my mother other than the things I learned from observation of her example. Some of that I've held onto - she would move heaven and earth to afford to let us kids explore our interests or advance our skills in a particular activity, and she always spent more readily on experiences than on material goods. I'm very much the same way - I hemmed and hawed for a year before buying myself a new winter coat but didn't hesitate to sign DS up for a weekend football camp for the same money.

But a lot of the lessons I learned from my mom were more a "what not to do" - borrowing to cover luxuries and extras, enabling poor behaviour with one financial bailout after another (my brother is 31 and still living on her dime), and generally treating finances as a series of crises rather than having a plan that would keep most situations from reaching crisis point. And DH didn't really get much from his parents either, because they simply had no money - no mortgage, no debt, but no extra either, just barely getting by very frugally.

For the most part, DH & I have figured finances out as we go. He wanted to start a business so we got seriously debt-adverse and paid off what debt we already had in a hurry, then got addicted to the freedom of having so few payments/obligations staking claim on our income.
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Old 02-20-2013, 03:59 PM   #32
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Yeesh, there's a lot of credit card fear here. I was taught that it's okay to use credit cards, just make sure you don't spend money that you don't have and be sure to pay them promptly - there's now an app for that!
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:12 PM   #33
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Never buy the cheapest model, always go up at least one level. You'll be glad you spent the extra money for something a little better.
See, the lesson I learned from my mom in particular, is to buy the cheapest model.

Mom mom bought the cheapest Kenmore washer and dryer in 1950, ran them until 1980 when they needed repairs, went back to Sears and bought the cheapest washer and dryer, and 34 years later they are going strong today (I found the receipt, $140 for the washer, $120 for the dryer)

Mom bought a brand new Pinto in 1976. Ran it for 27 years, then traded it in on a new Focus. And she was mad because she figured the Pinto would last the rest of her life. She'll be 90 in May.
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:18 PM   #34
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Never use credit.



I missed the lesson...


Yeah, DW and I are the first generation in our famlies to have a mortgage or a car loan, so we missed the lesson.
Our parents paid cash for their houses and cars, and if they didn't have cash, they didn't buy it. My parents first house cost $2,500, sold it 10 years t later for $50,000, bought another house for $29,500, 2 new cars at $2,100 each, and put $5,000+ in my college fund. Full disclosure, they spent $2,500 in materials and 7 years of their own labor converting that first, 1 bedroom, 1 bath house into a 3 bedroom 2 bath house.

My FIL was career Air Force, and had base housing until he retired at age 44, so could saved a lot of money. Paid $12,500 for his first house.
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:08 PM   #35
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A lot of what not to do...

Don't talk about all your expenses with your spouse, tell your children not to mention anything about that purchase or two etc...

Instead of spending a big windfall wisely so you can pay off a loan and put that money you were spending on the loan payments onto others, fritter it away on interest payments across the board whilst not making a big dent in any of them.

Remind your son that he needs to get a job and contribute, then turn round the next day and suggest full time education. Refuse to take rent off said son all the while. (I still have some few savings.)

Complain about debts and lack of money, refuse to explain how bad it is, or take advice.

Sometimes it infuriates me. "It's not your business" or "I'm fine" comments... If true, why mention troubles in the first place if you don't want advice? What do you want from me? Sigh...
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:17 PM   #36
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How to "Rob Peter to pay Paul" if need be tho work hard everyday and you'll most definitely have time to play Now the "working hard" has a various meaning so I'll state-none the matter if this is budgeting or physical labor when you "want" financial peace you gain it In my case anyway her lesson worked--I think lol I'm not hungry anyway
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:29 PM   #37
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We were taught:

Use just enough credit to establish it, then pay it off each month, or use cash.

Don't impulse buy. Save up for items, then buy them if you need them.

*Live* within *your* means, not the Joneses.

Don't ever get in the habit of saying - "It's just a dollar, five dollars, ten dollars" Everything you buy adds up fast.

Keep up maintenance - whether it be on your vehicle, or house, etc. will cost much less in the long run.

A place for everything, and everything in it's place (cleaned & put away). My Dad & Mom were very neat people.

Waste not, want not! If it's worth having, it's worth taking care of.

Always had to respect others, and especially our parents.

Actually, I've been glad for all the advice of my parents through the years. They consistently taught us values from toddler age up. We were not allowed to break our toys - we would literally wear them out! We learned to take care of things, and my siblings and I treasure our growing up years.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:07 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissMagic View Post
Yeesh, there's a lot of credit card fear here. I was taught that it's okay to use credit cards, just make sure you don't spend money that you don't have and be sure to pay them promptly - there's now an app for that!
My mom was never afraid of credit cards. She never saw the purpose of them. She still doesn't. DH and I have 1 card with a low limit. It serves its purpose. My mom was more worried about credit cards with my sister and I when we were first out of high school. She taught us a healthy respect for them. Also if you have money in the bank there is no need for a credit card. I know many will disagree, but that is the philosphy that was passed down to me.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:13 PM   #39
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Besides "Learn to manage your money & don't expect us to bail you out" ?

Serious, my parents were children of the Depression and very conservative. Dad loaned me money for my 1st car to the tune of 1% less interest than prime.

Seemed unfair at the time, but I appreciate that it taught me to manage money well.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:38 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superme80

My mom was never afraid of credit cards. She never saw the purpose of them. She still doesn't. DH and I have 1 card with a low limit. It serves its purpose. My mom was more worried about credit cards with my sister and I when we were first out of high school. She taught us a healthy respect for them. Also if you have money in the bank there is no need for a credit card. I know many will disagree, but that is the philosphy that was passed down to me.
Ahhhh...but the amount of free stuff I've earned through applying for and using credit cards....literally thousands of dollars a year.

That said, I'm way too frugal to dream of carrying a balance.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:49 PM   #41
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From my parents I learned three lessons:

1. Never spend money on anything that doesn't leave you with something in your hand.

2. Don't spend money you don't have.

3. Don't spend money you do have.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:09 AM   #42
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None. Nada. Zip. My parents were old school and you simply did not talk about that stuff.

You also didn't talk about sex, pregnancy, childbirth, politics, how much or how little you made or what things cost. My parents both insisted on having a clean house, a perfect yard and all those fine lovely things but we were automatically supposed to know how to do it.
And it's odd to me that my mother was a fantastic school teacher but she never taught me the things I know now I should have been taught. LOL

Kinda sucks to have to learn most of that stuff as an adult and I made some ridiculously bad mistakes that I do think could have been avoided had I had any kind of guidance or prior discussions at all.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:31 AM   #43
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I learned a lot as a kid about money because I had my own real savings account from my mom and my elementary school gave us good behavior/grades checking accounts. The real savings account taught me the value of saving, interest, and how to fill out deposit and withdrawal forms. I was so thankful as a hound adult not feeling scared about going to a bank teller to do business.

The fake checking account from my elementary school was also a great tool. Basically your "account" was loaded with X amount of money each week based on your star chart. You got stars for good behavior and a B or A on an assignment. Every few weeks our school would set up a little store when you could use you money to buy toys, books, and snacks. Each child had their own check book so you learned how to write checks and balance your account. It was great because I know how to use a paper balance sheet when a lot of 25 years olds have no clue how to use it. Also I believe we had fines and "bills" as well. It was a great leaning tool that I wish more school used. I know our accounts started with enough "money" to pay all your bills for the semester so as long as you weren't a bad kid everyone typically had money to spend in the shop. It also helped us grown into adults who realized hard work= bigger pay off.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:35 AM   #44
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Quote:
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nothing
"We don't have any"

Like DisMN - I could have posted that exact post. O/T: Seriously, my mother never explained to me my cycle. I was the one wearing the pad with the belt. So embarrassing. I too, learned as an adult, more importantly, as I dated, and most importantly, when I married my hubby. My mom would write a check to the grocery store and add the $15 bounce fee right there. I thought that was normal.

It's our responsibility to break the cycle and educate our kids. However, I find myself saying things like "this is the only thing we own (our house)! Take care of it! Respect it! Get your hands off the walls! If you break that toilet seat by slamming down the cover, your buying a new one!"
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:48 AM   #45
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save, save, save,

do not use credit cards cards (use and pay immediately - never have interest)

if you think something is ready to go/break/plan something different - start saving for it

don't buy something unless it's broken or you really, really need it

live below your means

do not try to keep up with Jones'
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