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Old 02-16-2013, 08:25 PM   #16
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Well some people think their children can do no wrong, while others simply have no regard for others...
And those same kids probably behave that way at home too...not just at public functions.

RESPECT is something children learn at home, clearly they did not learn.

More disturbing to me is the fact that the adults in charge had no more regard for the Scouts and their families.
We required any child/ren in attendance to be there with a parent. And honestly, as a former Scout Leader I would have had no issue with stopping the celebration for a moment to remind all in attendance that attending is a privilege and specifically mention that the behavior of some in attendance was not respectful to the other Scouts and their families.
If we saw no change in behavior, we'd have asked that child/family to consider leaving as they were disruptive.
We really did not have those type issues with over 200 Scouts and families in attendance....such great memories..
what a shame....OP
I hope the rest of the Pack functions run more smoothly...perhaps parents should speak up to their Scouts' leaders..
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Old 02-16-2013, 08:34 PM   #17
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Children model their parents' behavior. Went to lunch at a high end restaurant in San Diego today. Four grown women, 40s, loud, boorish, rude, swearing, an all on their iphones completely ruined our meal. I am sure their kids are pigs as well. Grrr
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Old 02-16-2013, 08:35 PM   #18
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Although I'm not a mother, I can relate. I used to be a cast member, and children are just wild. Parents look at you as their kids are climbing things they shouldn't be and running away. I understand in the parks everyone's excited, but don't people feel concerned about what their kids are doing?
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Old 02-16-2013, 09:45 PM   #19
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At our pack's B&G, we tend to be a little less formal during the first part. We have activities for the kids, a dinner, and then we move to the sanctuary for the ceremony (this year, our Web 2s are advancing to BS, and getting AoLs). During the ceremony, we have the church daycare available, for siblings.

If there is inappropriate behavior at a pack meeting, or at the B&G, either the CM or my DH (Bear leader) will speak to the offending child. (DH steps in if the CM is otherwise occupied.) If the behavior doesn't stop, the parent has to take the long walk of shame up front to pick up their child and then go sit with them in the back until the end of the meeting. Before they can attend another meeting (be it den or pack), they must speak to the CM.

DH's Bears get a one word warning at the beginning of the program--"Behavior"--and they know that it is time to sit still, be quiet and pay attention. This is something we started with DS when he was little--saved me giving "the talk" every time we went somewhere. DS can recite the behavior rules in his sleep, lol. Since most of them have been with us since Tigers, their parents have adopted our idea to their families!

Of course, our Cm has no problem stopping and correcting the adults in the room either!
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:20 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North of Mouse View Post
Boy, you just stated one of my biggest pet peeves. This is the same at WDW also, especially in restaurants.
Was recently at WDW - Coral Reef. For those that had tables by the aquarium windows, they were treated to kids belonging to other tables climbing up on the ledge of the window. No one stopped them, no one said boo. The din in there was LOUD. Kids running up/down aisles. Couldn't hear yourself think. Won't be going back there again. It used to be one of our favorite restaurants but no more. On the other hand, a father and son sat across the aisle from us and this child sat and ate like a normal human being at a table, unlike those kids running wild as if they were at McDonald's indoor playground.

Parents seem to be afraid to parent the child.
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:48 PM   #21
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I swear, something changed in parenting my generation. When I was a kid you started seeing the parents who didn't discipline their kids because they are "gifted" or "we want them to have high self-esteem". Now we are having our own kids and it has snowballed. Or else we are lazy because our parents didn't make us do anything.

Someone smack me if I turn in to one of those parents.
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:50 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mickeysgal

Parents seem to be afraid to parent the child.
It doesn't help when kids know what DCFS is in kindergarten and threaten to report you if you put them in time out. :scared
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:56 PM   #23
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We had our blue and gold today too. But a much different experience.. the kids were very well behaved.

BUT I will say that our pack leader (and many of the Den leaders.. including myself) would pull kids out herself if they were acting up. And she would have a talk with the parents of those kids to let them know they need to step in.

Also when the kids start getting rambuntious all the parents put cubscout signs up and the whole room quiets down... its like magic.

What you are mentioning is just rude and not respectful. I'm sorry it wasn't a pleasant blue and gold.
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:34 AM   #24
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Pet peeve of mine also! Hate when parents don't control their snowflakes or themselves. I really think some parents just don't get it. I'm sorry this happened at your event. At dd's 8th grade graduation last year several emails and written letters were sent before graduation stating that all applause should be held until the end of the ceremony. 2 announcements were also made prior the the ceremony starting. Ceremony starts and of course many people (who the rules don't apply) clap, scream, jump up and down when their snowflake's name is called drowning out the names of the next graduates. Ceremony had to be stopped several times so the announcement to hold applause could be repeated -- it did no good. How can we expect these parents to control their kids when they can't even control themselves. Very, very sad.
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Old 02-17-2013, 04:07 AM   #25
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"Do you want to go sit in the car?"

That's the technique I used for my son when he was 'active' in an inappropriate setting. I gave him one warning and we went to the car. I think maybe I took him to the car 3-4 times and after that, all it took was the warning. It could have been my tone of voice as well.
We only had/have one child. I admit it's easier with one but parental follow through has a lot to do with most behaviors.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:43 AM   #26
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My son got a little wild early in the day (before the main program) and I said "do you want to leave right now?", he calmed right down because I've yanked him out of a Pack meeting and taken him home when he got out of control. He has impulse issues anyway and chaos makes it very hard for him to focus. That said, he needs to learn to adapt to appropriate behavior in society, society does not need to adapt to him.

All snowflakes melt in the heat. In real life, you try to survive being a precious special person. Those parents are setting their kids up for failure......or maybe society will be so screwed up by then nothing will matter.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:43 AM   #27
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Well, I have 4, and believe me, "quantity" of children is no excuse! If anything, having more children means it's even more crucial to have expectations of good behavior. We've always been crystal clear with our children as to what behavior is acceptable, and we're not afraid to discipline if needed. My kids aren't perfect, but they do know how to behave during a meal or meeting.

I have to say, Boy Scout meetings are one of the worst for me--I suspect the boys get together and feed off each other. For some parents, it's social time, so they don't want to be bothered interacting with their kids. I try to avoid scout stuff due to this. Luckily, DH is an Eagle Scout, so he handles most of it.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:54 AM   #28
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I absolutely agree with everyone! I was in education for many years before my kids were born and I did express to the parents that they needed to do something about their kids on a field trip because of the unexceptable behavior. All the parents got mad at me for telling their kids what to do. I'm ultimately in charge and I can't have parents doing whatever they feel like and ruining the trip for everyone else.

Now that I have my own kids, I have a bit more sympathy, but not a lot. My DS has some very challenging behavior that occasionally comes out in public. I'm sure if you saw it, you would think he was undisciplined. Lots of kids are like this (think ADHD, autism spectrum, developmental delays). However, I think parents with kids like this can be seen stepping in when issues arrive.

I have been reading though that there is a parenting philosophy that allows kids to do what they want, when they want, because they need to be supported in their choices and not corrected. While some people recognize that this does not mean shouting during a concert, others think its just fine to let disruption go on. It goes beyond the self-esteem issue. There is no regard in many cases for the comfort of others because the child's needs are first. If you don't do that you are both harming the child and are a terrible parent. It's sometimes called "unparenting." I call it "your child is going to have a really tough time in life if you don't stop them from causing chaos everywhere they go."

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Old 02-17-2013, 07:16 AM   #29
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parents are to blame but so are the scoutmasters or whatever they are called running the meeting...they should have controlled the ceremony.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:21 AM   #30
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I call it "your child is going to have a really tough time in life if you don't stop them from causing chaos everywhere they go."
And that's the gist of the issue right there. I assume that these parents, like most parents, sincerely love their kids. What they don't seem to understand is that establishing rules about behavior is a whole lot easier at 4 or 6 than it is at 14 or 16. If you don't lay the groundwork when they're little, it's going to be close to impossible when they're older. And while it's about little stuff at 4, and 6-- sitting down, looking someone in the eye when you speak to them, modulating your voice type of stuff--- there's a whole lot more at stake with the choices life presents to that 14 or 16 year old. If they don't learn self control when they're young, there's so very much to lose when they're a bit older.

Again, any parent can have a kid in a meltdown; I won't pretend it never happened to me. And I agree that a certain percent of those kids are facing issues that simply aren't apparent to the general public. But I think a lot of it is simply lazy parenting-- it's easier to put up with the behavior than to stop it.

And I think that those parents, and the kids they love, are in for a lot of trouble a decade or so down the road.
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