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Old 02-11-2013, 01:05 AM   #46
donnajon
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I think those of you who say OP should be flattered are missing the point. If MIL truly liked her style and wasn't trying to upstage her, she would have told her that she liked what she pick out and asked if she minded if she did the same thing.

To the OP, it might be fun to see MIL's finished work and state, "Oh, I'm glad you did it first and love it but now that I see it completed, I don't really like the way those go together."
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:34 AM   #47
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I kind of get it, I'd be irritated for a bit but then let it go...like when my sister's third wedding was about a year after mine and low and behold not only does she choose our color scheme, I open the invitation to find it's the same one.

For those that don't understand, I'm guessing MIL has the mindset of my mother- who wore white to my wedding.
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Old 02-11-2013, 06:39 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disykat View Post
I think people are being terribly rude to the OP. It's one thing to say it wouldn't bother you, but downright mean to keep insisting that there's something wrong with the OP for feeling like she does.

Personally, I flat out don't believe the people who insist they wouldn't care if it the exact same situation happened to them. Until they've been in those shoes, how would they know how it felt?
With the exception of the "who cares" poster, I don't think telling the OP to be flattered by the MIL copying/imitating/stealing her kitchen design are being rude or mean. I think they're just trying to put the situation into a different perspective for the OP. I've been in this situation, and did it wind me up? No, because a situation like this would not bother me. Do I think there is something wrong with the OP for feeling the way she does? Absolutely, not. There may be a situation that winds me up to the point of the flaming angry face, but may not wind the OP up, and that's ok too. We all have different buttons.

OP, I would let MIL style bite your design concept to her hearts content and come up with a new design for your kitchen, there's one out there for you, I promise. Moving forward, don't tell your MIL anything if this is her standard mode of operation.
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Last edited by LiveYourLife; 02-11-2013 at 06:41 AM. Reason: Grammar
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:39 AM   #49
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That wouldn't bother me at all, in fact I would consider it a compliment.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:26 AM   #50
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Thanks for all of the posts! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who would be irritated by this. It's a new day, I'm not nearly as as I was at first... and like a lot of you have said, it is in relation to the dynamic of our relationship... I wouldn't care a bit if I posted my kitchen on here and one of you did the same things. But I expect family to treat each other better than that. I'd have been happy to help her with her kitchen if she had asked, even in similiar colors.

To those people who are saying things like "who cares" - If you can't say something nice.... But seriously, I guess if you need to be rude on message boards, maybe you need some happiness in your life, so to you.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:28 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by LiveYourLife View Post
With the exception of the "who cares" poster, I don't think telling the OP to be flattered by the MIL copying/imitating/stealing her kitchen design are being rude or mean. I think they're just trying to put the situation into a different perspective for the OP. I've been in this situation, and did it wind me up? No, because a situation like this would not bother me. Do I think there is something wrong with the OP for feeling the way she does? Absolutely, not. There may be a situation that winds me up to the point of the flaming angry face, but may not wind the OP up, and that's ok too. We all have different buttons.

OP, I would let MIL style bite your design concept to her hearts content and come up with a new design for your kitchen, there's one out there for you, I promise. Moving forward, don't tell your MIL anything if this is her standard mode of operation.
I agree with your sentiment... only a couple of people were "rude" - the first thing DH said to me was to be flattered. I get that. And I appreciate different perspectives... that is one reason I posted here.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:33 AM   #52
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Just curious what the colors you choose were. Were they something truly unique that nobody has, or were they colors that are pretty standard in decorating kitchens?
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:13 AM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
Thanks for all of the posts! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who would be irritated by this. It's a new day, I'm not nearly as as I was at first... and like a lot of you have said, it is in relation to the dynamic of our relationship... I wouldn't care a bit if I posted my kitchen on here and one of you did the same things. But I expect family to treat each other better than that. I'd have been happy to help her with her kitchen if she had asked, even in similiar colors.

To those people who are saying things like "who cares" - If you can't say something nice.... But seriously, I guess if you need to be rude on message boards, maybe you need some happiness in your life, so to you.
Glad to hear that your not so irritated today, OP. I'm like that too, some times I just need to word vomit my frustrations and then I feel better and can focus on what my plan is going to be. Like I said in my post you have every reason to feel the way you do. If you decide to start a whole new design concept for your kitchen, have fun with it and be sure to update us on how it turns out!!!
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:10 AM   #54
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Just curious what the colors you choose were. Were they something truly unique that nobody has, or were they colors that are pretty standard in decorating kitchens?
I hate to say it, but the curiosity was getting the better of me, too.
I was wondering what they OP had been picking out!

Since her MIL seems to have already stolen her ideas, and I am assuming that she doesn't know anyone else here personally, I wonder if she might tell us, or post some online photos!
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:14 AM   #55
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I will definitely post photos when I am done, although in this moment I don't know what I am going with. I am reconsidering now. What I chose was shades of gray, with accents. Completely original, never been done before? No, for sure not. But what I liked. MIL's taste has always been more colorful... bright blues and such. So not in her line of style. But whether it was her taste or not, I thought buying my backsplash before I did was pretty - but I'm having fun reconsidering now.
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:20 AM   #56
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To bad you can't tell her you saw it in a book somewhere as the most overdone color scheme thanks to 50 Shades of Grey or some other fib to get her to change her mind.
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:20 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
I will definitely post photos when I am done, although in this moment I don't know what I am going with. I am reconsidering now. What I chose was shades of gray, with accents. Completely original, never been done before? No, for sure not. But what I liked. MIL's taste has always been more colorful... bright blues and such. So not in her line of style. But whether it was her taste or not, I thought buying my backsplash before I did was pretty - but I'm having fun reconsidering now.
I only asked because if it was something that wasn't out there, the next time you decide to re-decorate a room you should tell your MIL that you are doing something new and exciting. Tell her the most hideous color combos and stuff and see if she does it again, or hope that she does it again

I agree about the backsplash. Grey is very in right now (I'm painting my cabinets grey this spring) but the fact that she got the exact backsplash is just weird. You could tell her you decided to go with something else because you read that that particular backsplash was known to release toxic fumes and you didn't want to take the chance... Have a little fun with her
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:05 PM   #58
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My neighbor across the street does that type of stuff too.

Their cousin lives 3 doors down and were in this neighborhood first. My DD is friends with their DD.

So - first the neighbor saw a house for sale in this neighborhood and bought it. Same layout as their cousins.
Then their cousin bought a new car, neighbor bought the exact new car too same color and all.

Cousin redid bathrooms - neighbor across street redid their bathrooms - same granite, tile and colors according to DD's friend.

The latest is cousin is currently removing carpet in their house and putting in hardwood floors.
Today a hardwood floor installer is at the neighbors, I guess giving a quote or something.
Should be interesting to see if they do the same thing as their cousin.

I'd be annoyed if anyone did that to me.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:16 PM   #59
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Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.
This! It's not like she is wearing the same dress to a function. When are the same people gonna be in your kitchen the her's. I am betting other than family who already know her "ways" noone.


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Old 02-11-2013, 04:12 PM   #60
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I get it OP, we had a major house fire about 7 years ago, we had to completely redo our interior and much of the exterior as well. We picked a nice light blue/grey color scheme for the exterior and I'm not kidding, within 6 months 2 of our neighbors had the SAME paint scheme on their houses. LOL Yes, I was annoyed. LOL We also upgraded to better cabinets, Travertine flooring, granite counters and again, within about the same time frame a few of our neighbors had also upgraded. lol I was more annoyed about the paint then anything else though, I mean I can't tell my friends, "it's the blue house" because now there are 3 the EXACT same colors of blue. LOL I asked DBF, "do you think they took pictures of our house and took them into Home Depot to match the paint?" LOL We joke about it now but I still understand where you're coming from.
I'd be very annoyed if DBF's Mom started trying to copy my style.....lol Oh and I want to say that we live on a very short street, it's sort of like a small circle, we have about 20 houses down our street......lol
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