My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

[Robbi]

Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

OP, forgot to post that I'm sorry you're MIL is such a poot. Change things up a bit and make yours better.

[Soulsearching]

20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

This made me LOL and brought back memories from 40 years ago. We were moving to MA from NJ and the realtor was taking us around looking at houses, and saw a builder she knew and asked if he could show us a house in a development he was building. The only key he had was for a house he was finishing up for his sister. My parents decided that was the style house they wanted, went with the same outside finish (with some...few...changes), and chose a lot about a block away. Choosing finishes from home in NJ, my mother was so overwhelmed and had liked what the builder's sister had so much, she chose the same kitchen wallpaper (some crazy 70's kind of red/gold paisley print ) and the same blue/lime green striped wallpaper for one of the bathrooms, and a similar (gold with black flocking...oh my!) for another bathroom. I was a teenager, and somewhat horrified myself that the same neighbors would see both houses: thankfully, the builder's sister didn't have any kids my age, altho I bet she wasn't too thrilled with my mother!

[RunDanceSkate]

Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.

[Buckalew11]

I get your annoyance. I would not like that either!

I'd change some of my choices if I were you.

[StephMK]

Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.

[LBIJim]

Originally Posted by TLSnell1981

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

Indeed, she must know you have good taste.

Jim

[Skywalker]

Originally Posted by ilovemk76

Who cares?

I agree. I mean really. It sounds petty to me. This sort of thing would not be on my radar nor would I care if I did find out. How does it effect you? Are you in some sort of decoratinng competition where you are afraid she will steal first prize from you?

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Originally Posted by Soulsearching

20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.

Thanks for sharing! As do I realize it's not the end of the world. This is my husbands mother, so it 's not like I'm going to write her off or anything....

Originally Posted by RunDanceSkate

My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.

Are we related?

Originally Posted by StephMK

Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.

She had another color scheme all picked out, and ran it by me. I was trying to give her my honest opinion, and told her I thought that color she chose might clash with her countertops. Thought I was helping. Now I wish I'd just said I LOVE IT!

[brockash]

I'm not sure...but who gets mad about something like that?? Seriously, why do you care if her kitchen or entire house for that matter is identical to yours?? Take it as a compliment and move on. I really don't see why it matters, I can't imagine that I'd be bothered by something like that.

[Jennasis]

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

[Handbag Lady]

OP, I would be mad, too. You put your time and thoughts and energy into getting a kitchen design YOU want, not one you wanted your MIL to copy.

Maybe now you can hold off and design something else for yourself to be different?

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Originally Posted by Jennasis

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

Thank you!! I know it's not world ending, but I thought we were allowed an every now and then. I guess some people just feel the need to be rude... THANK you to everyone who has "listened" to me and understood.

[disykat]

Originally Posted by Jennasis

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

I think people are being terribly rude to the OP. It's one thing to say it wouldn't bother you, but downright mean to keep insisting that there's something wrong with the OP for feeling like she does.

Personally, I flat out don't believe the people who insist they wouldn't care if it the exact same situation happened to them. Until they've been in those shoes, how would they know how it felt?

[superme80]

I would be very upset. If I had saved for years to do what I really wanted and then have someone copy it... If I like something of my friends I ask before I copy. Most don't care and are flattered I would ask. I would not want to offend someone by taking their design and trying to pass it off as my own.