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Old 02-10-2013, 04:37 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.
If she's so horrible why are you sharing the details of your life with her?
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:42 PM   #17
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If she's so horrible why are you sharing the details of your life with her?
Nevermind.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:42 PM   #18
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I can understand...you did some planning on something special and she kind of stole your thunder.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:46 PM   #19
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I get it OP. I'd be cheesed off too. Luckily, my MIL and I have tastes that aren't even remotely similar so I don't think that would ever happen. She has however taken back furniture she gave us when DH and I bought our house...7 years later. She claimed she needed it more than we did (it was dining room furniture but she wanted to use it for display purposes in her new antique shop...which lasted a month before she was broke and had to close shop). So we then had no dining room furniture.

She also decided to take (at the same time she took the furniture...AND while I wasn't home) a bridal shower gift she had given me 5 years prior. They were two vases. She claimed "You weren't using them"...they were displayed on the dining room buffet she took.

We don't really talk to her anymore.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:48 PM   #20
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I can understand...you did some planning on something special and she kind of stole your thunder.
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I get it OP. I'd be cheesed off too. Luckily, my MIL and I have tastes that aren't even remotely similar so I don't think that would ever happen. She has however taken back furniture she gave us when DH and I bought our house...7 years later. She claimed she needed it more than we did (it was dining room furniture but she wanted to use it for display purposes in her new antique shop...which lasted a month before she was broke and had to close shop). So we then had no dining room furniture.

She also decided to take (at the same time she took the furniture...AND while I wasn't home) a bridal shower gift she had given me 5 years prior. They were two vases. She claimed "You weren't using them"...they were displayed on the dining room buffet she took.

We don't really talk to her anymore.
Thank you - she is a hard person to take and I just needed to vent. I cannot believe your MIL did that to you! Well, I kind of can.. ours took back the baby clothes she gave us when we had DS so she could sell them in her garage sale.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:50 PM   #21
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I understand your frustration. I use magazines and Pinterest for inspiration, but those are pictures of peoples homes I will NEVER see. It's not like they are going to know I used the same colors or countertops.

I can't imagine copying my MIL's kitchen. That's just weird.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:54 PM   #22
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Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:00 PM   #23
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I understand your frustration. I use magazines and Pinterest for inspiration, but those are pictures of peoples homes I will NEVER see. It's not like they are going to know I used the same colors or countertops.

I can't imagine copying my MIL's kitchen. That's just weird.
Exactly, and they are homes that people put out there online or in magazines... not your family. Thanks for understanding.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:01 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.
My grandmother would do this to my parents, often. She mellowed throughout the years, but would often work to upstage one or both of my parents.

Just one example. The worst Christmas I remember is the year my mom cried. My dad saved up all year to get a special ruby pearl enhancer for her. He made the mistake of showing my grandmother, who then went out and got a crazy expensive pearl enhancer that he would never have been able to afford. Dad was so upset, my mom was upset. Miserable old bat.

It was always a control issue for my grandmother, couched in "compliment." She always had to upstage and outdo.

If it were me and it didn't cost anything, yet, I'd change everything in the kitchen.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:03 PM   #25
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:04 PM   #26
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I would think it was kind of weird. I wouldn't get myself too upset over it, unless she died her hair like mine, got the same tattoo, wore the same outfits..... Hey, I bet that would make a great movie plot.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:07 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?
No worries, OP. I'd be annoyed, too!
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:08 PM   #28
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"Who does that?" - my sister-in-law. They just had a house built and we went for a birthday party in December and they have the same granite that we have in our one year old kitchen, including the granite running up behind the stovetop.

We kinda chuckled when they got the Thomas Kinkade 55th Anniversary Disneyland painting (about a year after we bought ours.)

Honestly, I would be a bit peeved to have a close family member copy all my choices. When you go through all the work to choose and someone just copies all your research, it can be irritating.

Hang in there OP.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:44 PM   #29
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Ohhhh, I can def. see how that would get to you.
But, you know what? Take this as a blessing in disguise.
Take the lemons and make lemonade.

Something tells me that if you wait until you see hers... And continue looking around and let your vision grow and change... You will come up with something that you love just SO much more.

There might be many things that you can be justified in being upset about with your MIL... But the others are right... try not to let this be one of them!

Hey, I know people have posted ideas and photos here on the DIS to get feedback on this kind of remodeling. Maybe you could do the same... I promise I won't steal any of your choices. ( I can't afford to re-do my kitchen right now!!!!)
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:47 PM   #30
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My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Ohhhhhh, and a big lesson learned...
Information to these kind of people is power.
You won't make that mistake again!!!!

I think I would tell her that I was using fire-engine red with yellow polka dots.
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