3 weeks out and I don't want to go now.

[MinnesotaMouseketeers]

Glad you were able to make some Disney Magical memories with your kids.

We have some family members that we have had to make some modifications in order to travel with them. Separate cars traveling from point A to point B; I don't care that it makes it more expensive to travel and not GREEN. That's how much I disliked traveling in the same care because normally I am all about being green when possible.

Traveling at our own pace, we do not have to make the same stops at the other. Separate rooms to have some ALONE time. We state up front now; that it's ok to go our separate ways to see things one couple wants to see but the other does not.

Have fun in your future travels and don't be afraid to make some common sense ground rules.

[DLBDS]

You can always move your cruise down the road to a 4-nighter if you want. I hope you were able to rebook without mom like you wanted to. Hate to bring up possible bad times but did she enjoy anything about the cruise? If so, what was it? Did she ever give you props for a job well done as far as all the pre-cruise research you did? Did you have dinner together in the MDR each night? Where you able to find any alone time onboard? I probably have more questions but haven't thought 'em up yet!

[Zeppelin]

Originally Posted by violetmonarch

I contemplated doing a trip report....but I am not sure how great I would be at telling the story, lOl.

Here's my favorite picture:

we did this same excursion on our first Disney cruise on '07...loved it...

[Ellester]

Great picture! Glad you were able to enjoy some aspects of the trip. I also have a "difficult" mother. I totally get that the trying to talk to her about the behavior can make it so much worse for you. Suddenly you have to be on the defensive. We do travel with my mom, I am so trying to let her have some quality time with her only four grandkids even though honestly, the oldest three don't care to be around her. Her 70th is this year and for years she's been saying that she wants to take everyone (I'm an only child so it's just me and my family) on a "once in a lifetime" trip to celebrate. But she wants me to plan it all. Without giving me any kind of set budget or requirements. Even though she has traveled extensively and is retired while I haven't been much of anywhere since having kids and stay pretty busy homeschooling the four of them. "Anywhere we want to go" yet several of our suggestions have been shot down. My DH urged me to just say no, but I can't without causing even more issues. So we have decided on a DCL Alaska cruise. I figure if she isn't giving me a budget, we will plan what we want and she can say no when it comes to PIF. At least now the planning is majorly done and I can hope we all have fun. We do manage to have a good time at Disney when we travel with her (or maybe it's despite of?). Anyway, not to hijack your thread but I do COMPLETELY understand your situation. I know to others it may seem like I am ungrateful for the chance to take this trip. I'm not, I am grateful. But I do wish we could all be more excited about traveling with her.

[boundfordisney]

so happy to hear you had some magical memories, hope the next trip you will have even more! To the pp hope your alaska cruise works out and you have a blast! you will have to post a trip report as I d love to hear about it and maybe plan a future cruise to alaska!

[violetmonarch]

Originally Posted by ruadisneyfan2

....Did your mother say she had a good time?

She didn't tell me she was having a good time because she was mad at me the entire time...no matter what I did, she was mad. Of course, she tells her friends how magical it was for HER, never says "we" or "us".

Originally Posted by MinnesotaMouseketeers

Glad you were able to make some Disney Magical memories with your kids.

We have some family members that we have had to make some modifications in order to travel with them. Separate cars traveling from point A to point B; I don't care that it makes it more expensive to travel and not GREEN. That's how much I disliked traveling in the same care because normally I am all about being green when possible.

Traveling at our own pace, we do not have to make the same stops at the other. Separate rooms to have some ALONE time. We state up front now; that it's ok to go our separate ways to see things one couple wants to see but the other does not.

Have fun in your future travels and don't be afraid to make some common sense ground rules.

Thanks. Yes, if (big IF) I ever travel with her again I am not going in the same car with her...she yelled at me in front if my kids and told me that she had no clue where she was going, when she has been thru Houston more times than I by a long shot, I forget how that was my fault since I was sick and I offered to drive the first leg, and SHE refused. Oh well...Next cruise, just the kiddos and me! FOR SURE!

Originally Posted by DLBDS

You can always move your cruise down the road to a 4-nighter if you want. I hope you were able to rebook without mom like you wanted to. Hate to bring up possible bad times but did she enjoy anything about the cruise? If so, what was it? Did she ever give you props for a job well done as far as all the pre-cruise research you did? Did you have dinner together in the MDR each night? Where you able to find any alone time onboard? I probably have more questions but haven't thought 'em up yet!

Yup, I re booked, and she caught me at the desk lOl (awkward) but she has not mentioned it to me...I hope that means she learned not to be a "buttinsky". No, I never got any thanks from her or kudos for wracking my brain and doing research and stalking the Disboard and all the things I did to make sure we all could have a great time. I handled all the paperwork and all I got was yelled at in front of other people and my kids. At times, I truly felt so humiliated. She tells her friends the good things that she liked, never says anything about what we did together or anything like that. Yes, we ate at the MDR every night together, because I wanted to...not for her. I really like to sit and have dinner at a table with my kids and be a family. Wherever we decided to dine, mother dearest followed along no matter the suggestion. She seemed to afraid to go alone anywhere. I kept urging her to go and try and get some quiet and relaxing reading time or go to a tasting or get a drink in the adult only area (a place I never got to enjoy). Instead, she hogged the remote in the room and took over my bed. Sadly, never had a moment alone at all. I love my kids, I do, but I was really hoping to relax, and I never did. I wanted to cry at dinner in Lumieres the last night because I was sick to see that after waiting a year for this, it had to go down like this. Anyways, there were good moments too, and I will never forget them! Onward and upward, right!!

Originally Posted by Zeppelin

we did this same excursion on our first Disney cruise on '07...loved it...

Aren't they amazing creatures! Truly awe inspiring for me.

Originally Posted by Ellester

Great picture! Glad you were able to enjoy some aspects of the trip. I also have a "difficult" mother. I totally get that the trying to talk to her about the behavior can make it so much worse for you. Suddenly you have to be on the defensive. We do travel with my mom, I am so trying to let her have some quality time with her only four grandkids even though honestly, the oldest three don't care to be around her. Her 70th is this year and for years she's been saying that she wants to take everyone (I'm an only child so it's just me and my family) on a "once in a lifetime" trip to celebrate. But she wants me to plan it all. Without giving me any kind of set budget or requirements. Even though she has traveled extensively and is retired while I haven't been much of anywhere since having kids and stay pretty busy homeschooling the four of them. "Anywhere we want to go" yet several of our suggestions have been shot down. My DH urged me to just say no, but I can't without causing even more issues. So we have decided on a DCL Alaska cruise. I figure if she isn't giving me a budget, we will plan what we want and she can say no when it comes to PIF. At least now the planning is majorly done and I can hope we all have fun. We do manage to have a good time at Disney when we travel with her (or maybe it's despite of?). Anyway, not to hijack your thread but I do COMPLETELY understand your situation. I know to others it may seem like I am ungrateful for the chance to take this trip. I'm not, I am grateful. But I do wish we could all be more excited about traveling with her.

You MUST tell us about the Alaska cruise! After Bahamas, that's on my list!

[MND]

Originally Posted by violetmonarch

Hello there!
Yes, we went to on the cruise and overall it was....just...okay . Unfortunately, my mother did what I thought she would do . It was a very long week.

If ya'll want details, I have no idea where I'd begin.

The good points, I WILL highlight: Swimming with stingrays , the food, our waiters and our room attendant (not sure what to call them, since they became more like friends), the shops , the fact that I won a raffle and some OBC , my daughter winning at Who Wants to be a Mouseketeer , the pin trading, the perfect view from the verandah , the room service, the horn, the late night pizza and movie on the funnel vision, and the Starbucks in Cozumel.

How surprised I was that there were so many that remembered this thread and my little rant. Thanks for the advice and for "listening". Disers rock!

I'm glad you ended up having a great time! I'm glad you reported back to us, I do remember your earlier posts. It seems like you were really stressing out about your mother going on the cruise with you!

I suggest next time, you don't allow your mother to go with you.

Mike

[lswitte]

Ooops! I got so worked up reading the original post I didn't realize you already sailed. Sorry it wasn't as magical as it should have been but the good memories will outlast the bad! It's a lot like child birth.

I traveled on the Magic in 2011 with my mother (who is disabled) my father also went but I learned a lot that may be helpful.

1)We put a white board on the stateroom door and would write down where we went and the time so she could just go past the door and see where everybody was and decide where she wanted to go if she wanted to join us.
2) I did set up all the excursions and on one we actually had to cancel hers because it was tendered and she could not go but there was so much to do on board and she ordered room service instead of eating alone in one of the dining rooms.
3) On another day we took my dad ashore for an excursion but she had to stay back again, at first she was sullen and resentful but we booked an appointment in the spa and she really enjoyed people watching too. My mom is also very needy and controlling so this was a hard sell at first. Some of her best memories from the cruise were the days she spent "alone" on the ship.

If I were in your shoes I would book the dolphin encounter for you and the kids and give her the option of a personal day at the spa or booking one of the trolley/bus tours that may appeal to her. It just might be the best day of her cruise! (And yours!)

Don't cancel---- you will find that she ventures out and does what appeals to her more than you realize. Just make sure that you don't over accommodate to her whims. Compromise is a two way street.

[PrincessShmoo]

Originally Posted by lswitte

I traveled on the Magic in 2011 with my mother (who is disabled) my father also went but I learned a lot that may be helpful.

1)We put a white board on the stateroom door and would write down where we went and the time so she could just go past the door and see where everybody was and decide where she wanted to go if she wanted to join us.
2) I did set up all the excursions and on one we actually had to cancel hers because it was tendered and she could not go but there was so much to do on board and she ordered room service instead of eating alone in one of the dining rooms.
3) On another day we took my dad ashore for an excursion but she had to stay back again, at first she was sullen and resentful but we booked an appointment in the spa and she really enjoyed people watching too. My mom is also very needy and controlling so this was a hard sell at first. Some of her best memories from the cruise were the days she spent "alone" on the ship.

If I were in your shoes I would book the dolphin encounter for you and the kids and give her the option of a personal day at the spa or booking one of the trolley/bus tours that may appeal to her. It just might be the best day of her cruise! (And yours!)

Don't cancel---- you will find that she ventures out and does what appeals to her more than you realize. Just make sure that you don't over accommodate to her whims. Compromise is a two way street.

OP has already taken her cruise, and returned.

[violetmonarch]

Originally Posted by MND

I'm glad you ended up having a great time! I'm glad you reported back to us, I do remember your earlier posts. It seems like you were really stressing out about your mother going on the cruise with you!

I suggest next time, you don't allow your mother to go with you.

Mike

She is not coming the next time...for sure. I was stressed the entire time so it was bittersweet. Posted my videos to FB today...made me smile thinking in just another year, we will be back (minus mother dearest)

[DLBDS]

Love the way you refer to her as 'mommy dearest'. Hope you left your wire hangers at home! haha.

Now, I feel like I need to keep track of you so I can find out how the next cruise goes! I understand exactly how you feel though. You spend all that money, research for months, make the plans, look forward to it for soooo long. You just want everything to be perfect 'cause you never know if/when you'll be able to do it again. So sorry it wasn't what you had imagined it would be but so happy you are giving it another go next year!

I hope the next one is full of many magical moments for you and your children! I can't wait for you to go and I'm not even going with you! How weird is that?!

[violetmonarch]

Originally Posted by DLBDS

Love the way you refer to her as 'mommy dearest'. Hope you left your wire hangers at home! haha.

Now, I feel like I need to keep track of you so I can find out how the next cruise goes! I understand exactly how you feel though. You spend all that money, research for months, make the plans, look forward to it for soooo long. You just want everything to be perfect 'cause you never know if/when you'll be able to do it again. So sorry it wasn't what you had imagined it would be but so happy you are giving it another go next year!

I hope the next one is full of many magical moments for you and your children! I can't wait for you to go and I'm not even going with you! How weird is that?!

LOL!! Well, I dunno what else to call her
Anyways, I am sure that in the future you and I probably will be on the same cruise...I am planning on making these a regular thing for me and the kiddos...right now facing three possible dates to move my dummy date to (I need help deciding, big time)
BTW: mother said that she wants to take a cruise back to GC and Cozumel in 2015, but with a separate room and she wants to take a friend. THAT I can live with! We shall see what unfolds I am so glad that there are many here who know what I mean...not hating my mother, but venting. This helps me stay sane

[DLBDS]

Originally Posted by violetmonarch

BTW: mother said that she wants to take a cruise back to GC and Cozumel in 2015, but with a separate room and she wants to take a friend. THAT I can live with!

She has friends?!

[Ellester]

Originally Posted by DLBDS

She has friends?!

Ha! My mother has TONS of friends who think she is just the best thing ever. I am always hearing how great she is...

Originally Posted by violetmonarch

I am so glad that there are many here who know what I mean...not hating my mother, but venting. This helps me stay sane

Right there with you! I do love my mom, I really do. But as a close family friend once said, some people are hard to love.

[pequele]

Originally Posted by kcashner

Would you consider calling DCL or your TA to ask what it would cost to move her + one of the kids to a second cabin? Depending on the CM you talk to, they might not make you do the cancel/pay penalty/rebook deal (although technically they can).

Just wondering, wouldn't that be more expensive? Originally it would have been 1 adult 2 kids, so 1 kid would be adult price other would be kid price. Putting the 1 kid in with mom, wouldn't that then make the 1 kid that cost a kids price now an adult price? so basically she'd be paying for 3 adults this way? Maybe I just don't understand.