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Old 02-09-2013, 11:06 PM   #1
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hey! I've got two college degrees and a steady job. if I wanna watch mindless TV, so what?
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I used to be in the all-natural camp.
minkydog's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 16,515

Frustrated and venting

I'm totally venting here... My DH has stage 4 heart/lung disease and has recently been diagnosed with a serious lung infection similar to TB, except not contagious. His infectious disease doc has put him on a strenuous regimen of 3 harsh antibiotics, similar to chemo, which he will be on for 18-24 months.

Ugh. It is not going easily. DH feels icky most of the time. Not exactly nauseous, but very fatigued all the time. His stomach hurts. He eats like a mouse, several little snacks during the day interspersed with 2-3 hour naps. I am really trying to be supportive. But it's frustrating when I plan a nice dinner and 20 min prior to supper he doesn' want to eat. And he doesn't want to eat for the rest of the evening. There goes dinner! It's pointless to make a good dinner if I"m the only one eating it. So I've started holding on fixing dinner until I'm sure he's going to eat it.

I'm trying to make meal times pleasant. I make homemade soups at least once a week and he will eat that. He'll eat honey nut cheerios, saltines, grilled cheese sandwich, hot dogs, and baked potatoes. Which is weird because he has always been a big veggie eater. But now the very thought of salad, broccoli, peppers,etc, pretty much anything other than refried beans and mashed potatoes, just makes him ill.

I feel guilty for feeling aggravated. I like to make a nice lunch or dinner. We used to eat out, but now it has to be Olive Garden where he can get...soup. Or Costco, where he can get...hot dog. I am just about dying for a good roast beef or chicken with salad and veggies. Today, he ran some errands. I purposely didn't eat all afternoon because I was going to make a nice dinner. He came home feeling sick, didn't want to eat. I was STARVING, hadn't eaten since 11am! He went to bed. I took my DD19 and we went out for a good dinner (that way he didn't have to smell the food cooking.) It was very nice, but then I felt guilty about not taking DH.

The main side effect of all this, for me at least, is that I find myself getting hungrier. I want to eat everything, all the time. I think it's because I'm not getting enough protein. And that I'm feeling totally frustrated and deprived. Who wants to fix a whole dinner just for one? Foo...
Never underestimate the determination of the mother with a handicapped child
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