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Old 02-08-2013, 10:42 PM   #1
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LuvsDragonflies's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,755

Tales from the Supermarket

No, the Dunkin Donut carts are NOT supposed to house your 3 year old on top of the little plastic truck roof. Our floors are cement, you moron. Do you hear the promo that plays every 10 mins that says we equip each cart with a safety belt? That's so you use them instead of letting your child stand in the seat or climb from front to back as they like. Idiot.

No. It is definitely NOT a good idea to let your two year old stand in the back of the shopping cart, holding on for his life with his little stick fingers, as you decide to drop the cart down a 6 inch curb. Yes, the horrified look on my face WAS directed Right. At. You. You have no idea how glad I was when you decided (after, no doubt, seeing the abject HORROR and DISBELIEF on my face right before the attempt) to scoop up said toddler and place him on your hip. I am not sure if I reminded you of your wife or your mother-in-law as I burned holes into your eyes but I hope it made you pee a little. Do you even have a brain in there? Cement. Road. Fractured skull?

Really? Your drooling, sneezing, snotting 8 month old doesn't really want that toy they've been teething and coughing all over throughout the store? Why, thank you. Watch me take it from you with two fingers, while giving a little side-eye (can you blame me?), tossing it into a plastic bag and then sanitizing my hands with some Purell (which may not kill the darned germs anyway, thanks!) Do you really think the sodden mess you handed me should be put back on a shelf for some other unsuspecting child to gnaw on and get your little darlings nasty virus?

Okay. So you see something dripped onto the converyor, first you touch it, they you rub your fingers together with it, then you sniff it, touch it again and then taste it and ask me "what is this"? How the hell would I know? 25 people just loaded up their stuff onto that belt, one after another, until it was finally your turn. It could be anything. My guess, however, would be meat juice. Uncooked meat juice. Maybe you should taste it again and see.

Um...okay Mr. Crazyhair, if you want to put your 50% off "becauseyestheyarethatold" turkey legs up under your shirt instead of in a bag, go for it. Hope you have your receipt.

Little old lady in the hair curlers. Everytime I see you in the store, you're hair is in those curlers. Is it a look? or do you have somewhere really stompin' to go every afternoon, just curious. Thanks for being a little weird, but friendly.

Who did you meet this week?

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. ~ Abraham Lincoln
"Give me the storm and stress of thought and action rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith"-- Robert G. Ingersoll
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