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Old 01-09-2013, 12:47 PM   #136
violetmonarch
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Wow...just caught up on your thread and wanted to wish you the best! What a dramatic mother! I certainly hope things work out in the end!
Thank you. I hope so too! It's rapidly approaching, too

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If you can get her to back out of going you can change the person in a stateroom for a fee of $50.00. This is what I was told when I called about canceling my cruise b/c I need to be home with my dying father. They said if the rest of my crew would want to go I could replace myself with another person, but there's no way I was letting my family go without me!
Thank you. I thought about doing that but in all honesty, most of my friends cannot get off work or get a passport in this short of time and all of them are married, so I cannot expect to kidnap the wife while her family sits behind on a cruise. It's okay...what doesn't kill me, right?

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These boards are so funny! I completely expected this thread to go in a different direction. As always there are two sides. True the mother invited herself however it is convenient that the daughter gets the kids sail free promo by her going.

OP sit back and relax, enjoy your vacay. It will be like no other, even with your mom coming along! Remember parents traveled very differently not so long ago so don't be to hard on your mom but then again do not let her take over either. I say go on that dolphin excursion!
Thank you. Actually, I was booked originally before a KSF offer was present. I was fine going alone and having to pay for the kids, because that was my plan. Anyway, I am saving the dolphins for next time. I can't do two excursions this time if I wanna pay for the next cruise. Keeping the Rays
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:01 PM   #137
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I think this whole situation started off in a downhill spiral when mom invited herself on the family trip, and the OP it seems was unable to stand up and say "sorry mom, this trip is planned for my children and myself, can we just plan something at a later time."

Now OP is changing plans, to try and include mom into something that she was not originally planned for. The OP is frustrated, and rightfully feeling like she is no longer in control. This is an unfortunate mess.

Can daughter/mom/ and grandkids plan an event later that would truly be something everyone would look forward to. This idea of handing mom a navigator and highlighter in this situation seems like a disaster in the making. Mom would really feel put out if she was suddenly not included.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:37 PM   #138
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Don't worry be excited!!!!

You are going to have a great time theres is so much and you will have so much fun together!!!!!
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:22 PM   #139
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I can totally sympathize.

On our very first Disney cruise we made the extreme mistake of letting my mother in law know we we going. We should have kept that information to ourselves until it was too late to do much good for her, since next thing I know she called us to let us know that she had booked her own cabin and brought along my SIL and my niece to boot!

I love them, I do, but this was supposed to be a vacation for just my little family. I was upset that it was taken away from me, without any consultation whatsoever.

I did all the stuff I wanted to do anyway (they had no funds for excursions), but it was very uncomfortable. I had wanted my daughter to do more kid club stuff, since she is shy and needs the socialization, but with my niece there she refused to go often.

I tried my best to let everything that bothered me go, so that it wouldn't put a damper my vacation. I hope you are able to do the same and enjoy the vacation you have been looking forward to for so long.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:53 PM   #140
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One of the kids would be free anyway.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:10 PM   #141
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Originally Posted by loveadobie View Post
I think this whole situation started off in a downhill spiral when mom invited herself on the family trip, and the OP it seems was unable to stand up and say "sorry mom, this trip is planned for my children and myself, can we just plan something at a later time."

Now OP is changing plans, to try and include mom into something that she was not originally planned for. The OP is frustrated, and rightfully feeling like she is no longer in control. This is an unfortunate mess.

Can daughter/mom/ and grandkids plan an event later that would truly be something everyone would look forward to. This idea of handing mom a navigator and highlighter in this situation seems like a disaster in the making. Mom would really feel put out if she was suddenly not included.
I thought this too. My parents don't mind doing their own thing (and my inlaws as well) but they have each other. Personally, I wouldn't mind doing things by myself, and I have in the past, but not everyone would feel that way, esp a senior with hearing problems.

OP, I would say don't change all your plans to suit your mother but I wouldn't abandon her 100% either. It's impossible to do everything in 1 cruise anyway. Heck, we've done 13, many were 7-nights, and still there's things we haven't gotten to.
So don't feel that if your mom wasn't coming, you would see/do it all. There's never enough time.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:19 PM   #142
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You are going to have a great time theres is so much and you will have so much fun together!!!!!
Thank you. I am looking forward to the escape and maybe a chance to relax a bit.

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Originally Posted by JKSWonder View Post
I can totally sympathize.

On our very first Disney cruise we made the extreme mistake of letting my mother in law know we we going. We should have kept that information to ourselves until it was too late to do much good for her, since next thing I know she called us to let us know that she had booked her own cabin and brought along my SIL and my niece to boot!

I love them, I do, but this was supposed to be a vacation for just my little family. I was upset that it was taken away from me, without any consultation whatsoever.

I did all the stuff I wanted to do anyway (they had no funds for excursions), but it was very uncomfortable. I had wanted my daughter to do more kid club stuff, since she is shy and needs the socialization, but with my niece there she refused to go often.

I tried my best to let everything that bothered me go, so that it wouldn't put a damper my vacation. I hope you are able to do the same and enjoy the vacation you have been looking forward to for so long.
Thank you. I understand that, of course you love them but when you have your own family, the extended family feels the need to be included, too. I am a single mom, so I think that my mother just has a really hard time seeing me as the head of my own family....not as her as the head of the family. Perhaps an attempt for control? Surely! Still, she's my mom...

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I thought this too. My parents don't mind doing their own thing (and my inlaws as well) but they have each other. Personally, I wouldn't mind doing things by myself, and I have in the past, but not everyone would feel that way, esp a senior with hearing problems.

OP, I would say don't change all your plans to suit your mother but I wouldn't abandon her 100% either. It's impossible to do everything in 1 cruise anyway. Heck, we've done 13, many were 7-nights, and still there's things we haven't gotten to.
So don't feel that if your mom wasn't coming, you would see/do it all. There's never enough time.
Thank you. I agree that she CAN fend for herself, but at the same time she is like a kid that needs to have things explained to her, and she really has no sense of having a "filter" at times. On top of being hard of hearing...well you can imagine how it can be to communicate with her. As much as I try to help her, well it ends up just being ignored. I like to research things and to learn before I make a decision....she chooses to remain ignorant to things, yet wants to complain that no one showed her (when in reality, I have...many times). She like to complain and can be very judgmental, whereas I tend to never really complain' takes a lot for me to loose my cool. This thread was started because I was at THAT point where you just feel like you wanna explode ...I needed some feedback to talk me off the ledge, so to speak. And, in fact, that is what you all have done for me.
Two weeks and two days...we shall see what unfolds!
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:39 PM   #143
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Two weeks and two days...we shall see what unfolds!
Be sure to let us know how it goes.

Sending some pixie dust your way!
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:30 PM   #144
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Be sure to let us know how it goes.

Sending some pixie dust your way!
Thanks!!! I need all that I can get, LOL!
Today I am going to do the dreaded "two-weeks-till-I-leave-need-to-re-pack-everything-and-finalize-clothes-etc" chore.
I cut back on a lot of the clothes for the kids and I, but I was still hoping to get all of it into one bag...not gonna happen. Maybe I need to invest in some proper luggage? I am bringing a considerable amount of food items for FE gifts, for CMs, and for us to have to avoid the added expense, as well as a bottle of champagne. Ideally I wanted to take one bag that could be checked and another that I can carry on. I hate taking too much because I have a stroller to take as well. My mother doesn't see my point in reducing but then again she is packing for one, not three.
I still have no idea if I have to check the stroller or haul that on myself
Well, I did intend on letting my DS go to kids club but I am having a little nervousness about that too since my son is not 100% potty trained...and if there are too many bigger kids there I am afraid he might get hurt or lost in the shuffle. We shall see what happens there
Thank you again!
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:37 PM   #145
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Thanks!!! I need all that I can get, LOL!
Today I am going to do the dreaded "two-weeks-till-I-leave-need-to-re-pack-everything-and-finalize-clothes-etc" chore.
I cut back on a lot of the clothes for the kids and I, but I was still hoping to get all of it into one bag...not gonna happen. Maybe I need to invest in some proper luggage? I am bringing a considerable amount of food items for FE gifts, for CMs, and for us to have to avoid the added expense, as well as a bottle of champagne. Ideally I wanted to take one bag that could be checked and another that I can carry on. I hate taking too much because I have a stroller to take as well. My mother doesn't see my point in reducing but then again she is packing for one, not three.
I still have no idea if I have to check the stroller or haul that on myself
Well, I did intend on letting my DS go to kids club but I am having a little nervousness about that too since my son is not 100% potty trained...and if there are too many bigger kids there I am afraid he might get hurt or lost in the shuffle. We shall see what happens there
Thank you again!
I believe you can gate check the stroller. We are a family of 4 and it's hard to pack light. You have a choice. Either pack heavy, have a lot to lug & pay the baggage fees or pack light and do laundry while on the ship. Neither is very fun. It's a matter of how anti-"doing laundry on vacation" you are. I always do a least 3-4 loads for a week long cruise.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:54 PM   #146
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I believe you can gate check the stroller. We are a family of 4 and it's hard to pack light. You have a choice. Either pack heavy, have a lot to lug & pay the baggage fees or pack light and do laundry while on the ship. Neither is very fun. It's a matter of how anti-"doing laundry on vacation" you are. I always do a least 3-4 loads for a week long cruise.
We are good about taking as little as possible wherever we go, and I really don't mind doing laundry...I guess I just wish I had a better suitcase. I am going to use space bags tonight to see if that helps.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:07 PM   #147
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As much as I try to help her, well it ends up just being ignored. I like to research things and to learn before I make a decision....she chooses to remain ignorant to things, yet wants to complain that no one showed her (when in reality, I have...many times).
If that's increasing, could she be having memory problems? My MIL, who is not the nicest person in the universe, has gotten even worse about this after having a series of strokes at the end of the summer/early fall. And if things come from me in particular, she pretends to hear and understand and trust, and immediately acts like I'm lying, or didn't say it, or was wrong, as soon as I'm gone. (she was supposed to go on our own upcoming cruise, but her doctor won't "let" her now...and I do have to say I'm a tad bit relieved)


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We are good about taking as little as possible wherever we go, and I really don't mind doing laundry...I guess I just wish I had a better suitcase. I am going to use space bags tonight to see if that helps.
Space bags can make your clothes fit, but can make them WAY too heavy. And, of course, be sure to use the ones that roll up, rather than need a vacuum. The roll-up ones, in my experience, don't work very well, though.

Costco has luggage; we are fans of the Ful wheeled bags they have.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:16 PM   #148
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Space bags can make your clothes fit, but can make them WAY too heavy. And, of course, be sure to use the ones that roll up, rather than need a vacuum. The roll-up ones, in my experience, don't work very well, though.

Costco has luggage; we are fans of the Ful wheeled bags they have.
We've had great luck with space bags and use them for every trip. I mostly use small and medium sized bags to separate the clothing, according to use. Different bags for the park, cruise...even cities. I've never has a problem with the weight.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:27 PM   #149
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If that's increasing, could she be having memory problems? My MIL, who is not the nicest person in the universe, has gotten even worse about this after having a series of strokes at the end of the summer/early fall. And if things come from me in particular, she pretends to hear and understand and trust, and immediately acts like I'm lying, or didn't say it, or was wrong, as soon as I'm gone. (she was supposed to go on our own upcoming cruise, but her doctor won't "let" her now...and I do have to say I'm a tad bit relieved)




Space bags can make your clothes fit, but can make them WAY too heavy. And, of course, be sure to use the ones that roll up, rather than need a vacuum. The roll-up ones, in my experience, don't work very well, though.

Costco has luggage; we are fans of the Ful wheeled bags they have.
Thank you. No, she can remember...it's just that she is very very stubborn and she has a pride issue regarding her hearing loss. More like a denial. She will yell at someone for not knowing she is HOH, but then again if I repeat what another person says to her because she didn't hear, she gets insulted. Rock...me...hard place. When her hearing aid went kaput, it was like an excuse to not ever get it fixed or wear it or even try to help herself. The times that she has come shopping with me, I have to split at the checkout because it can get bad. She doesn't feel the need to help herself...kinda heartbreaking for me to witness.
I have a lot of Space Bags...I found them for a steal and since I have limited storage, it's been saving me. When it comes to large items like luggage, I try to barter with others and my current bag was a present. My DD rolling bag was free. Yup, my middle name is frugal!


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We've had great luck with space bags and use them for every trip. I mostly use small and medium sized bags to separate the clothing, according to use. Different bags for the park, cruise...even cities. I've never has a problem with the weight.
Thank you. Aren't they great?!
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Old 01-11-2013, 09:21 PM   #150
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U just need to have a serious conversation with her. I'm sure shell understand.
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