Having a pity party

[FlyingDumbo]

Thanks everyone. That email just put me over the edge. There is no surprise shower coming. I learned that when I had no bridal shower. I just need to face the fact that my friends don't care.

[LJSquishy]

I'm very sorry you always get left out when it's your turn to celebrate.

I know exactly what that is like and it hurts every time. All in all, what matters is that you love your baby and you and your husband celebrate your time with him/her. Hang in there, and focus on you and your growing family!

[chloelovesdisney]

Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo

Thanks everyone. That email just put me over the edge. There is no surprise shower coming. I learned that when I had no bridal shower. I just need to face the fact that my friends don't care.

Let those friends go, you will join new mom and playgroups and make new friends.

[Robbi]

OP, I'm sorry. It's pretty sad that your mom and sister haven't offered to have a baby shower for you. It's awful that people you've treated in the past aren't stepping up for you.
Please too you sound like a really sweet person but in future, don't offer to have anything for your so called friends.
I know, I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but these people are users and not worth your efforts.

Originally Posted by java

Ok best friend's wife is a witch

I love to throw baby showers. So fun! Brunch ones are my favorite.

How about we throw you a virtual baby shower? I'll bring the mimosas, virgin one for you!

By the way I loved my work shower. I worked with a bunch of guys. Big tough guys. Who went all baby out! Little blue monkeys everywhere. They bought lunch for everyone. Gave me a giant stuffed FAO Schwartz monkey and a biggi card. Best part they got me a car service to take me home.(long NYC commute 2 subways and then a train)

I hope someone surprises you with a shower if that's what you want.

Congratulations on your baby!

Absolutely, in fact I have a few names for her but I don't want to be kicked off the DIS.

Originally Posted by chloelovesdisney

Let those friends go, you will join new mom and playgroups and make new friends.

Yes, join a baby and me group.

[LongLiveDisney]

OP, you need new friends. Dump these people because they clearly are taking advantage of you for being a "party thrower." Good luck. We're here if you need us!

[MouseMadness]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this is happening to you. It brings back bad memories of my own pregnancy.

Unfortunately, I also lived away from family when I was pregnant with my first, and didn't have a whole lot of friends where I lived. However, of the ones I did have, no one offered either I know the hormones will drive you crazy when you're pregnant, but honestly, having a baby shower is a right of passage that NO ONE should have to miss out on...but some of us unfortunately still do and it is ok to be upset

Just hang in there and enjoy every quiet minute you have with your husband and savor your sleep! I'm sure you will receive a few things after the baby arrives (as they did with me) but just have fun picking out your own things for now.

Oh, and when your "friends" expect you to plan the next event, you can always remind them that you are a mother now, baby comes first, and your "party" days are over!

Hugs to you and I hope you feel better!

[funkychunkymonkey]

Heres to a virtual shower!! We love you here! Im very excited to hear about your baby! you better post lots of pics after he/ she is born. Do you know what your having? Im such a baby lover!

[FlyingDumbo]

Aw thanks! We find out the gender on the 17! Really looking forward to that!

[Riles_and_Gabe]

Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo

Thanks everyone. That email just put me over the edge. There is no surprise shower coming. I learned that when I had no bridal shower. I just need to face the fact that my friends don't care.

I am so sorry. I know how difficult it must be when it is your special time and no one is acknowledging it. I probably wouldn't consider that group of people friends any longer. I think it was a great suggestion of someone else to find a mommy and me group. You may find life long friends there!!

[njmom47]

Hugs is right, because I totally know!
My only shower (didn't have a bridal shower) was a baby shower thrown by some co-workers, held in the office of our store. I was happy about that.
Never had one from my friends outside of work or family; nor did I have one for ds (my dds are from my first marriage, so when I married dh, it was his first marraige and child, I though perhaps his sisters might throw one) .

[Maggie Lizer]

My office gave me a gift card in the mail, but didn't have a shower for me (the gals who usually did the party planning had both left for other jobs, and no one had yet picked up the duties, so me and the woman who had her first baby just before I did were gypped).
My DH called my best friend and asked her to plan a shower for me, but then he asked me to come up with a guest list, theme, food choices, etc, so I ended up planning my own. My family (mom, dad, sis, inlaws) just doesn't do parties for milestones/special occasions, and most of my close friends do not live nearby, so unless my DH got the ball rolling, I would have had no shower. And I am not expecting one for this baby at all - and am dropping no hints, either. We may do a "welcome home, baby boy" party a month or so after his arrival.

OP, if you are only finding out the gender now, what are you at, 20 weeks or so? That is still very early to assume no shower. Maybe you have to drop hints with someone else (not the husband's best friend's wife, of course). Or maybe your DH can plan a small luncheon out for the two of you and some other couples. There is no reason why a shower can't be something other than a bunch of birds sitting around playing a game of "is that pudding or peanut butter in the diaper".

[goofyintoronto]

Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo

Thanks everyone. That email just put me over the edge. There is no surprise shower coming. I learned that when I had no bridal shower. I just need to face the fact that my friends don't care.

If its a surprise, you wouldnt know about it. Thats the whole idea of a surprise. lol.

OP, im not sure how far along you are, but its not too late. I still think that you just never know, your friends just might surprise you with a baby shower. Typically ppl dont throw a shower before the 6 month mark. its usually around 6-8 months. So you just never know.

[familyoffive]

I would be hoping for a healthy baby and planning all of the moments you two will share. I've never understood the expectation for parties and gifts. While it is nice if someone sends something, better a genuine heartfelt gift than a thrown together insincere gathering.

[chloelovesdisney]

My showers didn't start until 32 weeks, and two were surprises, so don't count it out. I thought you were closer to your due date. I wouldn't allow anything in the house till 36 weeks.

[Eeyore'sthebest]

OP I know just how you feel. I threw 2 super huge baby showers for both my sisters. They planned mine a week in advance for the Saturday before Christmas. Maybe only had about 12 people there. Thanks for nothing.

Oh yeah, I wanted to add that I got wise. I tried to plan a 50th for my one sister. My niece kept shooting down all my ideas (after she ran them past my sister). So ya know what, I did nothing. Too bad, so sad!!