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Old 01-06-2013, 01:48 PM   #11
Princess on the Run
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago Suburbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
OP here - after reading responses It was probably smarter to give more details( sorry )
O met X at the gym.
O would be uncomfortable if spouse was to give their number to person of O's gender at the gym.
It would also be helpful to use pronouns instead of trying to assume whether this is a man and woman or what. I think we're all assuming, but you keep being vague and that makes it hard.

I would not ever know if my DH got a text like that because I would never read his texts. But if his phone fell into my lap on the text screen with this open and my eyes were forced to see it, I wouldn't do or think anything of it. But in my marriage, we don't restrict each other's contact with people of the opposite gender. I would never assume a woman texting him is trying to sleep with him because if I assumed that of every single woman he contacts, I would drive myself crazy. And if I found out my DH was reading my texts/emails and snooping around, I would probably assume he is jealous and insecure which are not attractive qualities to me. I might consider leaving him if he refused to have some faith in me. I couldn't stand to be in a relationship where someone thought that little of me that they needed to monitor my interactions with others.

I am shocked at the number of people who think this is crossing the line. There's so little civility in today's world and here we are punishing someone for being cordial. Are we living in the dark ages where men and women can't speak without a chaperone? Why assume there is bad intent? There isn't enough in that text to make negative assumptions.

If OP were to call the woman or take some kind of stand, she only makes herself look jealous and insecure. Is that how you want to appear to your DH or this woman? And let's say, hypothetically, this woman IS trolling for your DH. By making a fuss, you just told her your marriage isn't totally secure and now she thinks she has an "in." If a woman is that suspicious, I am going to assume she has good reason to be and that their marriage isn't solid. If a woman is looking to break up a marriage, and gets a sign that the marriage has a weakness, of course you're going to exploit that weakness. Why give her that weapon?


Quote:
Originally Posted by ronandannette View Post
Just ask him already...
I agree. I wouldn't ask but it's obviously bothering OP enough that she probably should just to make peace with it.


I will say that the one thing you just said bugs me (if I'm reading it right. Again, it's hard with all the lack of pronouns and stuff). If you are saying that your DH would be mad if a man had your phone number, yet he gave his to a woman, I would have a problem with that double standard. However it works, it should go both ways. So if you are saying what I think you are, I say you have a bigger beef with him over this double standard than anything actually written in the texts from the woman.
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