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Old 01-06-2013, 09:23 AM   #1
VeganCupcake
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Hypothetical texting scenario between 2 married people

"Hypothetical" situation(don't ask for more details-hard I know- just go on what is posted- discussion between me and a friend, wanted to see other opinions)

You see a string of text messages between your spouse and a person of your gender.Don't assume it was 100% snooping, spouses sometimes use each others phones if their own battery is dead.You have heard this persons name but never met them.
The text conversation goes something like this
X-will be other person(who is married and knows your spouse is married) O-will be your spouse
X- Hi Love, you are a hard person to get a hold of lately .
O- Yeah I've been really busy
X- Is that a good thing or a bad thing
O- a little of both
X- we haven't had our date yet
O-Yeah, I still do owe you a date.

Your first 100% honest initial gut reaction is what? (this doesn't mean what would you actually do, what would you like to do)

Then what do you actually do?

Discuss(I always think of the "Coffee Talk with Linda Richman" SNL skit whenever I say that )
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:26 AM   #2
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I'd be irked with X but O seems to not be too into what X wants (which clearly seems like some sort of attention from O). So, I'd confront spouse but be more mad with the other person. I might want to reply to X as well and say 'this is O's spouse....".
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:27 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
"Hypothetical" situation(don't ask for more details-hard I know- just go on what is posted- discussion between me and a friend, wanted to see other opinions)

You see a string of text messages between your spouse and a person of your gender.Don't assume it was 100% snooping, spouses sometimes use each others phones if their own battery is dead.You have heard this persons name but never met them.
The text conversation goes something like this
X-will be other person(who is married and knows your spouse is married) O-will be your spouse
X- Hi Love, you are a hard person to get a hold of lately .
O- Yeah I've been really busy
X- Is that a good thing or a bad thing
O- a little of both
X- we haven't had our date yet
O-Yeah, I still do owe you a date.

Your first 100% honest initial gut reaction is what? (this doesn't mean what would you actually do, what would you like to do)

Then what do you actually do?

Discuss(I always think of the "Coffee Talk with Linda Richman" SNL skit whenever I say that )
Oh...I forgot the rule...I always forget.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:28 AM   #4
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I would definitely want an explanation. If my husband "owed someone a date" I would definitely want to know who and why. Perhaps there's a reasonable explanation, but I'd want to know it. ETA: I agree with previous poster that X seems to be more inappropriate in the conversation than O... so if I didn't have other suspicions/concerns about my husband, I would try not to jump to conclusions. However, I would want an explanation.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:29 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovin'fl

Oh...I forgot the rule...I always forget.
I would have done myself but obviously it doesn't work that way lol!
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:30 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by design_mom View Post
I would definitely want an explanation. If my husband "owed someone a date" I would definitely want to know who and why. Perhaps there's a reasonable explanation, but I'd want to know it. ETA: I agree with previous poster that X seems to be more inappropriate in the conversation than O... I would try not to jump to conclusions, but I would want an explanation.
I agree with this. For me, the "Hi Love" moves it into the suspicious category.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:37 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovin'fl View Post
I'd be irked with X but O seems to not be too into what X wants (which clearly seems like some sort of attention from O). So, I'd confront spouse but be more mad with the other person. I might want to reply to X as well and say 'this is O's spouse....".
Wow, it's amazing how quickly people will let the spouse off the hook, and put most of the blame on the other person.

I admit, the other person did seem more into it, but the husband told that person that he owed her a date. That wouldn't be enough for you to put some blame on the husband?
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:37 AM   #8
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Absolutely suspicious. But I've been down this road & I believed the "explanations."

Go with your gut. You'll know (even if you don't want to believe it) if it is something inappropriate.

Take it as a warning sign.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:39 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadioNate
Absolutely suspicious. But I've been down this road & I believed the "explanations."

Go with your gut. You'll know (even if you don't want to believe it) if it is something inappropriate.

Take it as a warning sign.
I agree with this!!!!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by SaraJayne

I agree with this. For me, the "Hi Love" moves it into the suspicious category.
Yes. I agree. HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS!

I wouldn't be too pleased after reading that text. Id confront my spouse right away.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:40 AM   #10
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I just finished reading "Gone Girl", so my reaction may be a bit skewed. However, I think somebody would definitely have some 'splainin to do.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:40 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadioNate
Absolutely suspicious. But I've been down this road & I believed the "explanations."

Go with your gut. You'll know (even if you don't want to believe it) if it is something inappropriate.

Take it as a warning sign.
Can't edit on phone. I believed the explanations....which were lies.

If I were the spouse of either party I would not be ok w/this exchange.

However, being single I'm SHOCKED w/some of the things my married friends say to me. People I think are happy.

I don't get it.,
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:45 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topolino

Wow, it's amazing how quickly people will let the spouse off the hook, and put most of the blame on the other person.

I admit, the other person did seem more into it, but the husband told that person that he owed her a date. That wouldn't be enough for you to put some blame on the husband?
No kidding right? The husband was going along with it and even agreed to go out on the date. You should be mad at him most of all!!! If he said: NO, I CAN'T, IM MARRIED...then you wouldn't be having this problem now would you?

Doesn't matter how many women hit on your husband, its his job to tell them to back off. If he doesn't, be mad at him, not the other woman.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:47 AM   #13
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LOL! I went the total opposite way of everyone here.

Mostly because I know too many weird people I guess. The fact that it is owe you a date makes me think it was something along the lines of an innocent did something & said they would take them to lunch or something to make up for it.

I have no idea though without knowing the context of how each of them know each other. I have learned theatre people are an unusual group and am around them a bit because of DD -- so I could SO see that conversation happening in that group without any hint of anything bad.

I also work with several people that I could so see that conversation happening and again -- nothing more than innocent part.

And frankly, I read "love" with a British accent, although I'm sure it would be spelled Luv. I read it equivelent to Sweetie, Hun.

It really is one of those conversations that you need to know the people involved but by the conversation alone with nothing else with it. I could see it being innocent and I could see it being not so innocent.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:54 AM   #14
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Where there's smoke there's fire...

I might lay low and see if I could collect anymore information. (phone records) I would also learn as much about X as I could. I would probably turn into PI mode and save any information I could fine. Then confront 0 with just the text to see if he was truthful.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:59 AM   #15
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I would place all of the blame on my husband. This other person owes me nothing. He does.

I would take a screen shot of the exchange and send it to myself. Then I would confront my husband and ask for an explanation.
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