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Old 09-14-2012, 08:43 AM   #196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alysa View Post
So many of you have such strong and beautiful stories. A friend recently told me that when your mum passes away you never stop missing them. I'd be satisfied with being able to go through the day without crying. My mum died over a month ago and left such a hole. I used to talk to her every day and now I feel so sad and alone. We used to talk on the phone every day and now there is so much I wish I could tell her. I can't imagine how hard it will be to not introduce her grandson to her. God, I miss her so much.
Hugs and prayers to all of you who are hurting right now.
We have all been where you are right now. Your firend is right, you will never stop missing her, and you shouldn't. My grandfather passed away in 1979, my favorite aunt in 1996, my grandmother in 2001 (just 5 months before I got married) and my mom in 2008 and I still miss them all. We were very, very close. My mom, I miss the most, of course.

Your loss is still so fresh, allow yourself time to mourn, cry everyday, more thn once if you feel like it. I know that feeling like something is missing, my mom lived with me and I was with her when she collapsed, that is something I will NEVER forget, but it does get easier. I felt guilty, because I got through the anniversary of her death and didn't cry, but I know that it was ok not to cry, she wouldn't want me to cry. I read something on facebook this morning that a friend posted about mising your mom and I cried. I cried almost constantly the first year, but someone stepped into my life and brought me back out of that and it was like I woke up again.

Tell her what you want to, she can hear you, she probably knows before you can even tell her. She will see her grandson, maybe not in the traditional way, but she will and I am sure she is smiling down on you everyday. She will always be there no matter what. I have had a few times, where I felt my mom there and she saved my life at least once.
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Old 09-15-2012, 09:08 PM   #197
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Suzanne, I wanted to say thank you so much for your kind words. I don't know if you can only help someone if you truly know how it feels but what you wrote was the most comforting I have read since she died. I sent a copy of what you wrote to my sister and I have saved a copy on my desktop as well to read when things get too, too sad. Thank you again.
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:12 PM   #198
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My mom passed in 2010 after a short battle with brain cancer. She was a breast cancer survivor and slightly in part to her I found the Dis in 2008 when we went on a vacation to help us heal after the death of my father to sinus cancer.

It's nice to know that I now have a place I can go for the though days; it's rather hard to find support groups for adult children who lost parents (I 24 when I lost my dad and was 27 when I lost my mom) so any place I can turn to is helpful
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:02 PM   #199
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My mom died on Friday. I got through that day, the day after, the wake, the funeral. Today was the first day after all that stuff. I can sleep but wake up crying because when I wake up I realize she's gone and not coming back.

My mom was 65 and she battled metastatic breast cancer since 2004. She was first diagnosed in 1996. She and my dad were married 43 years.

My mom was an amazing person, beloved by all my friends. She was my partner in crime. We were so close. I do not know how I will live without her.
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:17 PM   #200
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinHoodGirl View Post
It's nice to know that I now have a place I can go for the though days; it's rather hard to find support groups for adult children who lost parents (I 24 when I lost my dad and was 27 when I lost my mom) so any place I can turn to is helpful
Hugs to you on the loss of your parents. You've come to the right place as we all understand what you're going through.


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My mom died on Friday. I got through that day, the day after, the wake, the funeral. Today was the first day after all that stuff. I can sleep but wake up crying because when I wake up I realize she's gone and not coming back.

My mom was 65 and she battled metastatic breast cancer since 2004. She was first diagnosed in 1996. She and my dad were married 43 years.

My mom was an amazing person, beloved by all my friends. She was my partner in crime. We were so close. I do not know how I will live without her.
May loving memories of your mother help you through these tough days. Give yourself some time to grieve and take one day at a time. My mom was my partner in crime too.
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:31 PM   #201
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinHoodGirl View Post
My mom passed in 2010 after a short battle with brain cancer. She was a breast cancer survivor and slightly in part to her I found the Dis in 2008 when we went on a vacation to help us heal after the death of my father to sinus cancer.

It's nice to know that I now have a place I can go for the though days; it's rather hard to find support groups for adult children who lost parents (I 24 when I lost my dad and was 27 when I lost my mom) so any place I can turn to is helpful
I am so sorry about the loss of both your parents. Did you mom get the brain cancer from the original breast or was it separate? Cancer sucks.

I have gone alone to find some support groups in NJ - I see you are in PA. Are there any there? I have this crazy idea that it might help.

Quote:
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May loving memories of your mother help you through these tough days. Give yourself some time to grieve and take one day at a time. My mom was my partner in crime too.
We're so lucky to have moms like that, right? I feel really lucky to have such great memories of her. And super sad not to have her around to do those things with me.
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:03 PM   #202
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We're so lucky to have moms like that, right? I feel really lucky to have such great memories of her. And super sad not to have her around to do those things with me.
Yes we were very lucky to be blessed with such special moms.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:42 AM   #203
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Quote:
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I am so sorry about the loss of both your parents. Did you mom get the brain cancer from the original breast or was it separate? Cancer sucks.

I have gone alone to find some support groups in NJ - I see you are in PA. Are there any there? I have this crazy idea that it might help.
The two cancers were separate (was the first question I asked since my dad's cancer had metastasized to his brain) so it was quite a shock.

I had tried to look for support groups but none seemed to fit right for me... I did have one session with a grief councilor who made a great point; since I was visiting my mom 4-5 times a week and saw how the disease was effect every aspect of her that I may had already said good bye slowly to her over the weeks leading up to her death.

I do know when big events come to pass though (Weddings, children, ect...) that's when things are really going to take a toll on me.
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Old 10-20-2012, 08:48 PM   #204
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Just found this thread while looking for one on suicide (lost a dear friend when he took his life this past Sun) I lost my mom in 04 after a 3 month battle with cancer. She never met my kids, my husband..nothing. My sister and my dad are battling their own demons so I feel like I am on my own. I miss her everyday but what I miss the most are the memories we never made. We didn't start going to Disney until 06 so she never shared that with me and my family. Sometimes I get so jealous of my friends who still have their moms. It hurts. I don't think the pain ever goes away..you just learn to live with it. Hugs to everyone else on here.
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Old 10-28-2012, 11:58 PM   #205
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My Mom was diagnosed with metastatic bc in 06 she has fought but the Dr. told us Friday that she can't figure out what is wrong with her liver the tests keep showing no cancer but she was hospitalized for 3 weeks with fever and jaundice after receiving a new chemo. She is getting a mri to find out if it is cancer or if her liver is cirrhotic if it is cancer they can start chemo again but Dr, said that could kill her and if it is cirrhotic then they can only keep her comfortable and said without chemo they give her 3-6 months. I can't stop crying I have children so I will go on for them but I don't know how I will be able to live without her.I feel bad because I feel selfish that I'm feeling bad for myself when she is the who is dying.
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Old 10-31-2012, 09:48 PM   #206
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This has been a rough week. My mom has been gone 3 months this past Friday- the 26th. The first 2 months I had thoughts at exactly the time she died. (I was with her when she passed) This month I was busy at the time taking my young nieces and nephews trick or treating at the mall with my sisters. We all said how much Mom loved seeing the kids dressed up for Halloween but nobody mentioned the date. It hit me later that evening when I was alone. Today with it actually being Halloween hit me hard. I've had more tears today than I've had in a while. My younger nieces and nephews and all of the great nieces and nephews stopped by tonight for their treats and I could picture my Mom sitting in her chair enjoying them. Sunday will be our first family gathering to celebrate the Fall birthdays in the family (15 of them!) without her. I always have Halloween inflatables in the yard and the windows decorated but didn't get around to it this year. Halloween used to have a special meaning for me since it is the anniversary of my being in remission fom ovarian cancer -33 years today. All I feel right now is alone. the siblings I've talked with today all feel the same way.
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:36 PM   #207
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this may not *fit* but...

I lost my Aunt a few days after Thanksgiving. She was my mom after my mom died in 2006. It is still too confusing to deal with. I was busy with exams, and only really got one good cry out after my last exam, then I was sick with the flu for a week and then headed to Disney for a week, and now I suppose it's time to deal with it all.

I am the last woman standing in my family. My other aunt is sort of... absent. And my grandmother is 92 and sort of on the way out, if you know what I mean.

I really really want those women back. I am only 27.
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Old 01-05-2013, 10:05 PM   #208
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I lost my Mom October 29, 2010. She had Non Hopkins Lymphoma stage 4. She had a cord blood stem cell transfusion that depleted her immune system. She passed away from respiratory failure and a blood infection. I was there through the night and day before she passed. I fell apart there in her hospital room and lost a peice of myself. Till this day my heart aches to just hear her voice and just to see her smile.
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:34 AM   #209
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Wow! I wish I would have found this thread a long time ago. I often feel so alone with no one to relate to. My mom died Jan. 3, 2009 at the age of 58 from esophagus/stomach cancer. She was diagnosed May 2007. She was my best friend. She was such a special and loving lady with a huge heart. My kids meant the world to her. We spoke every day. She was their "second mama". They spent countless days and nights with her. They loved their Granny. I would often call her just to tell her when one of my kids did or said something cute. She listened and loved hearing those cute stories. She had told me once how sad she was that she would never see my youngest DS play a sport. I was able to enroll him into teeball a year early just so she could watch him play ball. My DH had to coach so he could play, but just to see her smile at him in his baseball uniform was priceless. I now have no one to share the cute moments with. My husband is an amazing man, but it just isn't the same. She whole-heartedly enjoyed every single thing I had to say. I have one brother (always in some sort of trouble so we don't speak) and no sisters. Some days I feel so alone and empty.

I feel angry when my friends talk about going places and doing things with their moms. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, and it has gotten better in time. But I truly want to scream when I hear how they went somewheres with their mom or how their mom will be joining them on vacation.

There is a great comfort in knowing that I am not alone now. Thank you all for sharing your stories.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:24 PM   #210
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Wow! I wish I would have found this thread a long time ago. I often feel so alone with no one to relate to. My mom died Jan. 3, 2009 at the age of 58 from esophagus/stomach cancer. She was diagnosed May 2007. She was my best friend. She was such a special and loving lady with a huge heart. My kids meant the world to her. We spoke every day. She was their "second mama". They spent countless days and nights with her. They loved their Granny. I would often call her just to tell her when one of my kids did or said something cute. She listened and loved hearing those cute stories. She had told me once how sad she was that she would never see my youngest DS play a sport. I was able to enroll him into teeball a year early just so she could watch him play ball. My DH had to coach so he could play, but just to see her smile at him in his baseball uniform was priceless. I now have no one to share the cute moments with. My husband is an amazing man, but it just isn't the same. She whole-heartedly enjoyed every single thing I had to say. I have one brother (always in some sort of trouble so we don't speak) and no sisters. Some days I feel so alone and empty.

I feel angry when my friends talk about going places and doing things with their moms. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, and it has gotten better in time. But I truly want to scream when I hear how they went somewheres with their mom or how their mom will be joining them on vacation.

There is a great comfort in knowing that I am not alone now. Thank you all for sharing your stories.
My mom died in June of 2009-- I know your pain. I have one brother also and a dad that is now remarried... its hard to relate with them... so I know how you feel.
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