3 weeks out and I don't want to go now. - The DIS Discussion Forums

trwprid · 01-04-2013, 06:28 PM

I feel ya. I really do. There's a reason I'm estranged from much of my family. I'm way too laidback but finally ran out of cheeks to turn.

I agree with the previous sentiments that this is about making memories with your kids. Hubs and I have this conversation all the time: what would we rather do? Buy a new car/computer/blah blah this year, or take the kids somewhere really neat? 80% of the time, we go for the trip.

Here's what I suggest you tell your mother: "Mom, I don't want to have any regrets. When we get home, I don't want to be sad about what I could have done and didn't. Tell me what you want to do, and we'll see if we can do it together."

From there, it's her choice to be miserable. Don't let her guilt you into feeling miserable, too. I know that's easier said than done, but it's totally doable as long as you compartmentalize things a bit. Just keep telling yourself, "It's not personal. That's her problem, not mine."

Be as accommodating as you can. Be gracious. Be communicative, but just keep reinforcing to her that this isn't just a vacation, but an experience. You're doing it so you and your kids can experience things and have memories.

Toss the guilt back at her and ask "Do you want them to miss out on that?" See what happens.

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01-04-2013, 06:28 PM	#10
trwprid Mouseketeer Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 136	I feel ya. I really do. There's a reason I'm estranged from much of my family. I'm way too laidback but finally ran out of cheeks to turn. I agree with the previous sentiments that this is about making memories with your kids. Hubs and I have this conversation all the time: what would we rather do? Buy a new car/computer/blah blah this year, or take the kids somewhere really neat? 80% of the time, we go for the trip. Here's what I suggest you tell your mother: "Mom, I don't want to have any regrets. When we get home, I don't want to be sad about what I could have done and didn't. Tell me what you want to do, and we'll see if we can do it together." From there, it's her choice to be miserable. Don't let her guilt you into feeling miserable, too. I know that's easier said than done, but it's totally doable as long as you compartmentalize things a bit. Just keep telling yourself, "It's not personal. That's her problem, not mine." Be as accommodating as you can. Be gracious. Be communicative, but just keep reinforcing to her that this isn't just a vacation, but an experience. You're doing it so you and your kids can experience things and have memories. Toss the guilt back at her and ask "Do you want them to miss out on that?" See what happens.