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Old 12-31-2012, 02:51 PM   #1
KateB
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Silly thought... BUT...

So I am going on my first mother/daughter trip to WDW in June. This will be my first trip without DH. I found out that MK will be open a few night until midnight. I would be more than happy to go only while my mom sleeps but when I mentioned it she said "oh goodness I would feel so bad if you went alone!" I told her that many people take trips solo. I want her to get rest. It will be hot and she gets by overheated so I want her to know that she can take it easy & I will still enjoy myself. I don't want her to feel like she has to keep going if she needs to go take a nap.

How do I convince her that its really ok? I would love to walk around MK by myself but I don't know how to convince my mom?
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:24 PM   #2
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I would just try having an honest discussion with her. Let her know exactly what you just stated in your post. If she still is iffy, maybe show her the boards and let her see that lots of people do go solo, either for an entire trip or just a few hours. Maybe even let her know that you will be riding things during that time that she doesn't ride. Therefore, she won't have to wait for you to ride during the day and you all can make the most of your mother/daughter time.

I had this issue come up with my Aunt when I went with her and her son a few years ago. It really came down to her not wanting to be left alone in the room although she insisted that I didn't need to go anywhere by myself (I was 26 at the time). However, one night they wanted to go back and swim after dinner. I went back to the room after dinner but let her know that I was going back to the parks and for them to have a good time and swim. MK was open to 2 AM and I'm a night owl. My cousin was 10 at the time and she was 33. I know my Aunt and she overreacts. Our room was directly above the pool. No reason why she couldn't go to the pool with her son alone at 7:30 PM. I wasn't about to let that stop me from having fun on vacation.

That said, your Mom may have a reason for not wanting you to go. I'd get to the bottom of it and if reasonable, maybe consider her request. If not, I wouldn't let that stop you from having a good time. Just be open with what you want to do. If she's still iffy before you go, I'd bring it up again on your trip, perhaps once she gets there, she'll be a little more open to it. My night at MK by myself until 3 AM is the best time I have ever had in my three trips the last few years.
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:20 PM   #3
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my mother wanted to go with me just one time.

so okay - well mother did not want to be alone. even worst after that trip she invited herself along on every trip after that.

she never paid for anything - not hotel, dvc, tickets or meals not in the gas for the car - so my memories of her at WDW are not good ones.

today she is in a nursing home and won't come out until she dies.

that say since you are married even if you have trouble saying no to your mother - don't think your DH would.
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:51 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tonga Wingo~
I would just try having an honest discussion with her. Let her know exactly what you just stated in your post. If she still is iffy, maybe show her the boards and let her see that lots of people do go solo, either for an entire trip or just a few hours. Maybe even let her know that you will be riding things during that time that she doesn't ride. Therefore, she won't have to wait for you to ride during the day and you all can make the most of your mother/daughter time.

I had this issue come up with my Aunt when I went with her and her son a few years ago. It really came down to her not wanting to be left alone in the room although she insisted that I didn't need to go anywhere by myself (I was 26 at the time). However, one night they wanted to go back and swim after dinner. I went back to the room after dinner but let her know that I was going back to the parks and for them to have a good time and swim. MK was open to 2 AM and I'm a night owl. My cousin was 10 at the time and she was 33. I know my Aunt and she overreacts. Our room was directly above the pool. No reason why she couldn't go to the pool with her son alone at 7:30 PM. I wasn't about to let that stop me from having fun on vacation.

That said, your Mom may have a reason for not wanting you to go. I'd get to the bottom of it and if reasonable, maybe consider her request. If not, I wouldn't let that stop you from having a good time. Just be open with what you want to do. If she's still iffy before you go, I'd bring it up again on your trip, perhaps once she gets there, she'll be a little more open to it. My night at MK by myself until 3 AM is the best time I have ever had in my three trips the last few years.
Thank you! We will have to talk about it more. I think she Might be more open to it when she sees how tired she is.

I think her main reason, even if she won't admit it, is that she wants to spend as much time together as possible. She is absolutely giddy about this trip & says she can't wait to have girl time. This is our 2nd trip together and the 1st one without the boys (my DH and dad). Haha
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Old 12-31-2012, 10:26 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateB View Post
Thank you! We will have to talk about it more. I think she Might be more open to it when she sees how tired she is.

I think her main reason, even if she won't admit it, is that she wants to spend as much time together as possible. She is absolutely giddy about this trip & says she can't wait to have girl time. This is our 2nd trip together and the 1st one without the boys (my DH and dad). Haha
If she's asleep you won't be spending that time together anyway! I'd point out to her that the time you do have together will be better quality time than if she's too tired to enjoy it properly.

My mum wasn't exactly thrilled about me doing a solo stopover in Hong Kong on the way back from our Paris trip, but I explained to her that even when DH and I went together, I still ended up spending quite a bit of time on my own anyway because we have different interests. It's great to split up when you need to and enjoy doing the things that you both want to do together.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:31 AM   #6
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My mom and I travel quite often together. As she has gotten older, and had a few surgeries under her belt, she is not as spry as she used to be and doesn't stay up as late as she used to.

We do often split up; she is a voracious reader, so she will retire back to the room (or more often, the cabin, because we cruise a lot together), and read and watch a bit of TV, while I prowl around by myself.

As long as anything is discussed ahead of time and everyone is aware of the parameters, in any situation, it can work well. You have to make sure there are no hurt feelings or if someone feels abandoned by their companion(s).
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:46 PM   #7
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My Mom (she was 71 and I was 51 at the time) and I went to Disney for a week, staying at Port Orleans Riverside. Mom paid for the entire trip and asked me to go along with her. Of course it was wonderful to have that special time with her. But. She wouldn't let me go anywhere alone. She was afraid I would be attacked if I was out in the dark alone. She barely let me go out in the morning to run over to the food court to get my coffee. There was no way she'd let me go back to one of the parks at night, alone. So, we were usually back at the resort by 5 - 6 p.m. every night. And with her paying for the trip I just did not feel that I could put my foot down and tell her I was going out alone!!

Now, in September, I'm going to Disney again, for another week, at the same resort. But this time I'm paying for the trip and taking MY DD with me. I'm now 55 and she's 34. I will NOT be like my Mom and not "allow" her to go off alone if she wants to. But, I don't tire as easily as my Mom did so I won't be wanting to go back to the resort as early as she did. I don't think my DD will want to go off on her own to one of the parks, as she's never been to Disney before, but if she does I would be fine with it. I can see her maybe wanting to take a walk alone around the resort, and spending time alone at the pool, stuff like that and it's just fine. She's an adult, not a child.

I hope you can work it out with your Mom.
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:22 PM   #8
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We do Mom & daughter trips all the time. We leave the men at home, & have our "girl time".

I think your Mom is afraid that if she doesn't keep up with you - then you won't want to go with her ever again. (I felt like that.) My daughter explained it to me this way --

She sat with me - told me that our time together is precious & that she wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world. She further explained that she really didn't mind going slower with me & skipping things that I just couldn't do. But she also explained that she was in her young 30's & needed to walk fast & do things I just couldn't possibly keep up with.

Knowing that she didn't resent me for not keeping up with her changed everything. We still go about 3 times a year - and I rest when I need it while she moves faster & enjoys "her" time. It's OK!
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