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Old 12-13-2012, 01:23 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by sissy_ib View Post
Then I decided not to be upset that I knew what the two presents under the tree for me were. (I gave my husband a list and I can tell from the shape what they are)
I'm sorry. I have read and reread your post several times now and I'm stumped.

You're trying not to be upset because your husband bought you two things off the list that YOU wanted because you know what they are? Was he not supposed to buy you things off the list?

It's no wonder some people get stressed over the holidays.

For me, I'm having a completely no-stress season.

Decorated a tree, but didn't go all out with decorating in general

No cookie baking. OK, I might do ONE cookie if I want to. If I don't feel like it, the world will not end.

Gift giving cut down significantly.

Only thing I have to stress about is what to serve my boys for Christmas dinner. Maybe we'll just do take-out or finger foods.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:14 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by threeboysmom View Post
I'm sorry. I have read and reread your post several times now and I'm stumped.

You're trying not to be upset because your husband bought you two things off the list that YOU wanted because you know what they are? Was he not supposed to buy you things off the list?

It's no wonder some people get stressed over the holidays.
I was not upset he bought me what I asked for, I didn't say that or imply it. It just kinda sucks I know what they are already and have for about two weeks. It would just be nice if he could surprise me once in a while. If he wrapped the gifts in a manor that I did not instantly know what they were that would be nice. He did the same thing with one of my gifts last year. What is the point of wrapping it and putting it under the tree weeks early if the receiver knows what it is?
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:27 PM   #33
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I was not upset he bought me what I asked for, I didn't say that or imply it. It just kinda sucks I know what they are already and have for about two weeks. It would just be nice if he could surprise me once in a while. If he wrapped the gifts in a manor that I did not instantly know what they were that would be nice. He did the same thing with one of my gifts last year. What is the point of wrapping it and putting it under the tree weeks early I the receiver knows what it is?
I understand how you feel. I used to feel the same way.

I wanted to be surprised, it couldn't be anything for the house, I wanted something I could "show off" at work, etc. etc. --- I learned to let all that go.

I also learned to tell him up front that I wanted one gift, it didn't matter the cost, that he took the time to think about and find something he thought I would really want. Some years he gets a list, some years he doesn't. But, once I let go of all my "stipulations"; it helped him to be able to pick something out. It doesn't matter if the gift cost $10 or $1000 (well it does to the budget, but you know what I mean); its just the thought that he puts into it.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:32 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by sissy_ib View Post
I was not upset he bought me what I asked for, I didn't say that or imply it. It just kinda sucks I know what they are already and have for about two weeks. It would just be nice if he could surprise me once in a while. If he wrapped the gifts in a manor that I did not instantly know what they were that would be nice. He did the same thing with one of my gifts last year. What is the point of wrapping it and putting it under the tree weeks early I the receiver knows what it is?

The key to a stressfree holiday is not letting yourself get all wound up over gifts. Last year he surprised you and you didn't like the gifts. This year you are getting exactly what you wanted and you still aren't happy because it isn't a surprise. It seems like he is trying but instead, you feel he is just trying your patience.

You cannot change other people. You cannot make them do things the way you think they should be done. What you can do is change the way that you respond. If you are old enough to have a SO, you don't have to be surprised by Santa. Relax and enjoy life.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:33 PM   #35
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I understand how you feel. I used to feel the same way.

I wanted to be surprised, it couldn't be anything for the house, I wanted something I could "show off" at work, etc. etc. --- I learned to let all that go.

I also learned to tell him up front that I wanted one gift, it didn't matter the cost, that he took the time to think about and find something he thought I would really want. Some years he gets a list, some years he doesn't. But, once I let go of all my "stipulations"; it helped him to be able to pick something out. It doesn't matter if the gift cost $10 or $1000 (well it does to the budget, but you know what I mean); its just the thought that he puts into it.
Thank you. I learned to let all that go this year as well.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:03 PM   #36
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I'm too much of a control freak for mystery in my gift. I much prefer to buy all my gifts myself LOL. Because of this, DH and I qit exchanging gifts a very long time ago. It just seemed silly to me to spend our own money just so the other could have a gift. Oftentimes it wasn't anything we needed anyway. If it's something I need, I need it RIGHT NOW - like the $100+ Heys luggage I just ordered...

We buy for our kids, parents, siblings, friends...just not each other.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:21 PM   #37
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I'm not cooking Christmas Eve or Day.

For years, I spent Christmas Day in the kitchen. I didn't get to play Barbies or have a tea party with the girls...I was busy cooking. I would be exhausted after getting up before 5am--make coffee and orange or cinnamon rolls (Pillsbury), so that they were done before the kids got up, then watching them open presents, going to get veggie and other trays done, so I could start making ham and scalloped potoatoes and everything else, and then having to clean up after.

So. Now Christmas Eve, we go get Chinese food--enough to cover two days. I also throw together a veggie platter with dips, a cheese and sliced meats platter, and put some olives and pickles in a dish. I have cookies and whatever else left from baking for dessert. I still get up early on the 25th, and make me coffee (Keurig, so DH can make his own). I will still make the orange rolls--some traditions I just can't drop--and we will have leftover Chinese food and the trays for lunch and dinner.

I also dropped Christmas cards. I love doing them, but I hate the fact that I get so few back---apparently our families are not wanting to do them since I dropped the gifts that used to go along with them. So, I do them for DH's cub den, and that's it.

DH and I aren't doing anything for each other--we are buying one game we both really want and that's it. Both DDs have been told they will get their presents in January (both just want cash, and understand money is tight this month since we had to move). DS will get a few things on his list (mostly from the big guy) and will receive an IOU from mom and dad for the others.

We aren't doing the outside decorations. Inside, it took me about 30 minutes to put up my stuff (since I organized when I put it away last year!) and we're getting the tree Saturday afternoon. won't be a big one either.

Not as stressfree as the year we moved to FL and dropped everything to go to WDW the day after we got here! Just used DD2's small tabletop tree that year (and I had all the gifts bought and wrapped before the move!) when we got back Christmas eve. (Though going grocery shopping was a pain!)
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:38 PM   #38
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My goal for next year is to decrease the holiday stress by not trying to celebrate it any more. Decreasing my expectations to match reality has not lessened my stress or increased my happiness, so I'm just not going to participate beyond what's required at my job. I'm going on a cruise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sissy_ib View Post
I was not upset he bought me what I asked for, I didn't say that or imply it. It just kinda sucks I know what they are already and have for about two weeks. It would just be nice if he could surprise me once in a while. If he wrapped the gifts in a manor that I did not instantly know what they were that would be nice. He did the same thing with one of my gifts last year. What is the point of wrapping it and putting it under the tree weeks early if the receiver knows what it is?
I get it. Dh and dd basically gave me a list, I fufilled it. They don't want surprises. They know exactly what they're getting. So I honestly don't see the value of wrapping the items. I mean isn't the entire POINT of wrapping something to hide what it is so that the recipient won't know until they unwrap it? Or is there some other point I'm missing?
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Old 12-13-2012, 07:56 PM   #39
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Outside lights are up; tree is up inside with lights, but no ornaments; Advent calendar is up; stockings are hung on the mantel; manger is out. That's it. I have A TON of decorations, just no time this year. Kids and DH don't want to help put stuff up - that's ok, it is what it is this year.

Family celebration on my side is the weekend before but I just have to make a pan of lasagna. Not sure yet about DH side - it's ok by me if we don't meet up. Christmas Eve will be crab legs and veggies, Christmas Day will be a ham and a bag salad with a loaf of bread. If I had the time (and I will again one of these days), I do love to bake, make mints, etc. Life is too busy right now with the stages the kids are in, full time jobs and 3 hour commutes.

We did cut down on the gifts this year as well. Kids have been done since right after Thanksgiving. I purchase for myself and hand off to DH to "gift" to me - we have done it that way for years. I'm picky and it just makes life easier. I don't care about being surprised. We are all looking forward to spending time together as a family with no sports, music, work, etc to attend to for a few days.
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:42 PM   #40
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We have have many years when one or the other of us ends up in the hospital or on crutches or sick with the flu; in fact, my kids say it's not Christmas 'til somebody goes to the hospital. So I'm learned a few things about streamlining Christmas. It's a little late to implement this year, but maybe you could do it next year.

**My secret to a calm Christmas season is to have at least 90% of my shopping done by Thanksgiving. Of course it helps that we don't buy much for the kids anymore--they need cash more than presents, so cash it is(plus a few little things.) We don't buy for my sibs either, just contribute to charity in their honor. My niece and nephew get cash.

**I simplified my decorations last year, so on Black Friday when everyone else is out being crazy, I'm home putting up my simple tree and watching movies.

**I cut my Christmas card list dramatically, so now it's pretty much family and a few friends from college, no local addresses. I get them done the Sunday after Thanksgiving and they're in the mail by Dec 6.

**Beginning Dec 1 or before, I go to the grocery store and get everything I'm gonna need for the baking and candy making that I plan to do.

**The first weekend in Dec, I make cookie dough. I do not bake on that day, but I will start baking within a couple days. i like to make something every 3-4 days, but sometimes I'll get with it and make several things in one day and freeze them so I can pull them out later in the season.

**I start wrapping by Dec 15 and I put the presents up in my closet, out of the way, to be put out on Dec 24. That way nobody can guess what they're getting.

**We reserve Dec 23 for riding around looking at the Christmas lights. We turn up the Christmas music and sing along. When we come home, it's cookies and hot chocolate for us.

**Last year, my kids requested that we dispense with the big Christmas dinner. All they wanted was finger foods, little sandwiches, and desserts. So I bought a pre-made shrimp cocktail, deli meats & cheeses, rolls, salad, chips & dip, and a couple pies. Easy-peasy. And when the kids decided to split in the afternoon, it wasn't a big deal.

I just wish I had done this years ago!
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:51 PM   #41
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I get it. Dh and dd basically gave me a list, I fufilled it. They don't want surprises. They know exactly what they're getting. So I honestly don't see the value of wrapping the items. I mean isn't the entire POINT of wrapping something to hide what it is so that the recipient won't know until they unwrap it? Or is there some other point I'm missing?
Hah! My sibs had a way around this. They would put the gift inside another box and put other things in it, so when you shake it had some weight and made noise. We'd get gloves stuffed in an empty oatmeal box, packages with two big ol' nails that would clonk around. Or a calendar wrapped in a whole newspaper, wrapped again in cellophane and then wrapped in Christmas paper. Or a shoe box with Dads' old snowchains and a new watch in it! They were a pretty creative bunch. We could NEVER guess what was in the package!
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:00 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by sissy_ib View Post
I was not upset he bought me what I asked for, I didn't say that or imply it. It just kinda sucks I know what they are already and have for about two weeks. It would just be nice if he could surprise me once in a while. If he wrapped the gifts in a manor that I did not instantly know what they were that would be nice. He did the same thing with one of my gifts last year. What is the point of wrapping it and putting it under the tree weeks early if the receiver knows what it is?
Sorry but you are down because of HOW he wrapped the gifts?

I am out of work.. My wife and I are are doing all we can to get a few gifts for our two teenage kids this season.

Guess what. they could CARE less about who it was wrapped or what shape it was in..

You want a surprise?? lose your job and actually be able to give your kids a gift.. That is surprise..

Man get a perceptive on the world today..
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:21 PM   #43
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Sorry but you are down because of HOW he wrapped the gifts?

I am out of work.. My wife and I are are doing all we can to get a few gifts for our two teenage kids this season.

Guess what. they could CARE less about who it was wrapped or what shape it was in..

You want a surprise?? lose your job and actually be able to give your kids a gift.. That is surprise..

Man get a perceptive on the world today..
Wow. My entire point was that yeah, when I first saw the things I was a little disappointed that I knew exactly what was in them. I quickly realized that is no way to act and I got over it. That is what I said in my very first post on this thread. Maybe I did not say it well enough. I am not sad, mopey, upset or anything else. I was for about 2 minutes until I thought better of it. The Christmas Rant thread is FULL of people complaining about what their husbands and boyfriends get them or don't get them. I am saying I am giving all that up and being happy with what I have and I am still getting criticized.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:24 PM   #44
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disneyfan95 - Hang in there and best of luck finding a new job! We have BTDT twice in the last 4 years and it isn't fun.
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:05 PM   #45
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Wow. My entire point was that yeah, when I first saw the things I was a little disappointed that I knew exactly what was in them. I quickly realized that is no way to act and I got over it. That is what I said in my very first post on this thread. Maybe I did not say it well enough. I am not sad, mopey, upset or anything else. I was for about 2 minutes until I thought better of it. The Christmas Rant thread is FULL of people complaining about what their husbands and boyfriends get them or don't get them. I am saying I am giving all that up and being happy with what I have and I am still getting criticized.
I'm so sorry you are being misunderstood. I have been lurking this thread, and read all your posts. Totally understand where you are coming from.

There's been a few times where I 'figured out' what certain gifts under the tree were. And yea, it does take away that surprise element....just happens. It's ok to feel that. I just try to act surprised in front of DH when I open it, as not to ruin it for him!

I cannot believe some of the responses you've gotten regarding this! Somebody posting about being jobless and can't afford gifts for their kids....what does that have to do with this???

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