2 year old eats all her advent chocolate, teach her a lesson or not? - Page 2 - The DIS Discussion Forums

NotUrsula · 12-10-2012, 03:47 PM

Let her have her 10 chocolate quota, but give your older one some kind of extra treat as well; she may feel that baby or not, it's unfair that her younger sister is getting to get extra treats after misbehaving. (The treat doesn't have to be food; you could take her on a special outing.)

As for overdoing candy, unfortunately 10 small pieces isn't really enough to learn that lesson: but trust me, half a basket of Easter chocolate is. DD did that when she was 3, and she will never do it again. She got seriously sick to her stomach from eating too many sweets too fast.

Elleshoodat · 12-10-2012, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

My two daughters, ages 6 and 2, have chocolate advent calendars, the kind where you open a door each night and eat one piece of chocolate. We had been leaving them on the kitchen table and my 2 year old has been great about not touching them until this morning when she ate 10 chocolates in 10 minutes. So here is the dilemma, do I teach her a lesson and let her watch her sister eat a chocolate every night while she has none? Or do I replace her calendar and let her continue her advent fun and chalk this up to a parental oops for leaving the chocolate in her reach?

I'm really on the fence about this one, if she were 3 or older I would have no problem teaching her a lesson, but she is just 2 and she really doesn't seem to get it. She knows she has done something wrong and that she wasn't supposed to eat the chocolate, but she doesn't seem to get that she doesn't have an advent calendar now.

WWYD?

I agree with it being a "parental oops;" I don't feel comfortable withholding from our 2-year-old DS to teach him a lesson.

We only have DS (no older sibling), so we keep his Advent calendar out of his reach. He is funny with his chocolates, though -- he gets all excited about it, unwraps it and then leaves it around the house for us to find. Sigh.

Schmeck · 12-10-2012, 04:12 PM

When exactly do you all expect a child to learn consequences? Does it magically just appear with your kids? Both of my daughters knew about consequences by the age of two. Mommy says no, and you do it anyways, consequences.

DisneyLvr55 · 12-10-2012, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmeck

When exactly do you all expect a child to learn consequences? Does it magically just appear with your kids? Both of my daughters knew about consequences by the age of two. Mommy says no, and you do it anyways, consequences.

I don't believe in hand holding to much - I think kids should learn consequences. However, the kid is just 2. Do you really think that, for 10 days in a row, her standing there, watching her big sister get a piece of chocolate, while she gets nothing, is going to do anything but make her think Mommys is mean? After the first day or two, the kid isn't even going to remember WHY Mommy is doing this. A little older, then yes, I would with hold some of the chocolates, but still, I wouldn't do it for the 10 days.
IMO this is a parenting mistake, not the childs.

I didn't punish my dog when she ate the chocolates off the kitchen table - And she was 11 years old at the time!

I have children too, two daughters. The dog example is the only one I could think of because I guess I learned my lesson with her!

Marionnette · 12-10-2012, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza32

I don't think two years old is too young to learn about consequences. I like the idea of the PP to have her open the calendar each day and find no chocolate, but give her something by hand - maybe ask her each day why there is nothing there to reiterate the message. Once she has caught up, no problem!!!

IMO, two is not too young to learn about consequences. But considering that Christmas is still two weeks away, that is an awfully long time to expect a 2 yo to handle the consequences of a misdeed. At her age, discipline has to be quick and meaningful. I would never expect a child that young to comprehend why she is being punished today for something she did last week.

Elleshoodat · 12-10-2012, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marionnette

IMO, two is not too young to learn about consequences. But considering that Christmas is still two weeks away, that is an awfully long time to expect a 2 yo to handle the consequences of a misdeed. At her age, discipline has to be quick and meaningful. I would never expect a child that young to comprehend why she is being punished today for something she did last week.

Exactly. Young children don't comprehend time the way we do.

snoopy5386 · 12-10-2012, 07:25 PM

OP here again. Said two year old had a nice, long self-imposed time out in her room after she was caught with the candy. She laid in her bed hiding under her blanket and eventually fell asleep!

Older sister could care less that she is getting a new calendar and thought it was hilarious that we sister ate all her chocolate.

loveshak22 · 12-10-2012, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

She won't be getting a whole new one, DH and I will take care of eating the first 10 days worth of chocolate

Win-win!!

I don't have kids so my gut reaction was teach her a lesson BUT in reality I'd probably punish her for eating the chocolates (like it sounds like you did) and replace the chocolates (but eat the first 10 days like you all did)!!

tiggger1 · 12-11-2012, 10:09 AM

we had the opposite problem a few years ago. my ds ate all of my dd candy from the advent calendar. He knew it was hers, too!!! DH called me while both kids were screaming, DD because she had no more candy and DS because Daddy took the candy away! I had to go to 4 stores before I could find another one ( it was mid December!) since then I always by a couple extras!!!!!

dmdelight · 12-11-2012, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiggger1

we had the opposite problem a few years ago. my ds ate all of my dd candy from the advent calendar. He knew it was hers, too!!! DH called me while both kids were screaming, DD because she had no more candy and DS because Daddy took the candy away! I had to go to 4 stores before I could find another one ( it was mid December!) since then I always by a couple extras!!!!!

oh my,are n' t kids wonderful?!

I love that your dh had them both screaming and rang you to rectify the situation.
good planning to buy extras,hope they're well hidden!

dragonfly08 · 12-11-2012, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmeck

When exactly do you all expect a child to learn consequences? Does it magically just appear with your kids? Both of my daughters knew about consequences by the age of two. Mommy says no, and you do it anyways, consequences.

I agree that a two year old can learn about consequences. But at the same time, being that young, they really need to be more immediate. Punishing a two year old over the course of the two weeks remaining on her sister's Advent calendar isn't going to work because two days from now a child that young will already have forgotten why she isn't getting candy but her big sister is.

IMO, the OP handled it well. Her DD received immediate consequences in the form of a time out, and will not get any extra benefit from the new calendar (i.e. the past ten days of candy will be removed and she'll start right where the old one left off). Sounds very appropriate given her age and emotional maturity.

rachael95 · 12-11-2012, 01:00 PM

I think in a 2 year old's mind, reminding them every day and punishing them every day would be like them getting punished for something they didn't even know what they did. Kids that young need to have consequences immediately, not over a period of time. They just don't remember or connect things otherwise. Sounds like OP is a great mom.

capeseal · 12-11-2012, 03:18 PM

I will chime in with the general consensus, which is that you handled it very well. I'm so glad you didn't try to impose a long, drawn-out "lesson" on your 2-year-old over some little chocolates in a calendar. It is absolutely too much to expect a 2-year-old to comprehend a 15-day punishment for doing something impulsive. It will be a cute story for the future.

12-10-2012, 04:12 PM	#18
Schmeck Funny thing is now my 17 year old naps almost every day and so do I! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Massachusetts Strong! Posts: 7,281	When exactly do you all expect a child to learn consequences? Does it magically just appear with your kids? Both of my daughters knew about consequences by the age of two. Mommy says no, and you do it anyways, consequences. __________________ Mar '13 - PC Aug '12 - PC (Best Trip Ever!) Aug '10 - PC June '08 - ASMo (school trip) Aug '05 - BC Aug '04 - PC, AKL Oct '02 - AKL, POR May '99 - CBR May '96 - CBR Dec '80 - offsite

12-10-2012, 07:25 PM	#22
snoopy5386 DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,273	OP here again. Said two year old had a nice, long self-imposed time out in her room after she was caught with the candy. She laid in her bed hiding under her blanket and eventually fell asleep! Older sister could care less that she is getting a new calendar and thought it was hilarious that we sister ate all her chocolate. __________________ _____________________________ Swan 10/03 Beach & Yacht Club 7/04 Coronado Springs 3/05 Polynesian 10/05 DD's 1st TRIP for her 1st BIRTHDAY April 07!!!! Polynesian 10/07 Girls Trip! Coronado Springs 6/08 Food and Wine Festival Fall 2008 Sailing on the Magic 10/10/09

12-11-2012, 10:09 AM	#24
tiggger1 I put vicks on my feet It really cleans my floors and makes them softer! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Southestern Massachusetts Posts: 4,757	we had the opposite problem a few years ago. my ds ate all of my dd candy from the advent calendar. He knew it was hers, too!!! DH called me while both kids were screaming, DD because she had no more candy and DS because Daddy took the candy away! I had to go to 4 stores before I could find another one ( it was mid December!) since then I always by a couple extras!!!!! __________________ Danielle DH :: Emma (9) (5)Chase

12-11-2012, 01:00 PM	#27
rachael95 Mouseketeer Join Date: May 2000 Location: TN Posts: 224	I think in a 2 year old's mind, reminding them every day and punishing them every day would be like them getting punished for something they didn't even know what they did. Kids that young need to have consequences immediately, not over a period of time. They just don't remember or connect things otherwise. Sounds like OP is a great mom. __________________ Happy Momma to Spencer Planning his first visit Off Property - August 1999 AKL - September 2003 Dolphin - December 2004 POR - May 2005 Off Property - October 2005 Got to visit 1/2 day at Animal Kingdom after a conference in Oct. 2007

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12-10-2012, 03:47 PM	#16
NotUrsula DIS Veteran Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: USA Posts: 13,877	Let her have her 10 chocolate quota, but give your older one some kind of extra treat as well; she may feel that baby or not, it's unfair that her younger sister is getting to get extra treats after misbehaving. (The treat doesn't have to be food; you could take her on a special outing.) As for overdoing candy, unfortunately 10 small pieces isn't really enough to learn that lesson: but trust me, half a basket of Easter chocolate is. DD did that when she was 3, and she will never do it again. She got seriously sick to her stomach from eating too many sweets too fast.

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12-11-2012, 03:18 PM	#28
capeseal Mouseketeer Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 350	I will chime in with the general consensus, which is that you handled it very well. I'm so glad you didn't try to impose a long, drawn-out "lesson" on your 2-year-old over some little chocolates in a calendar. It is absolutely too much to expect a 2-year-old to comprehend a 15-day punishment for doing something impulsive. It will be a cute story for the future.