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Old 12-07-2012, 02:23 AM   #1
dakcp2001
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Curious on what the rest of the world thinks

We had a huge blowout at work last night, and I watched it all unfold. As you have probably read before,I have no children so I think that biases my opinion on the matter. I was just wondering what you all think of this. There is an employee on my floor who is pregnant, and works nights. She applied for a transfer to another unit, interviewed, and accepted the job. She has not told them she is pregnant, nor does she plan to to tell them until she cant hide it.She is planning to take off the full 12 weeks of unpaid leave allowed. She will be in Training for 3 months. She asked them to postpone her start date a month. So she basically will be in training until she gives birth then she will take her leave. This caused a huge lashing by several of our coworkers. They think what she is doing is unethical and that she should have told them she was pregnant when accepting the position. Others say it is a non issue and she does not need to tell them until she wants to. I get why she wanted the new job, the hours are days and there are 8 hour shifts. We work 12 hour nights. Anyway, she was in tears and several people had a huge fight about this. Again, I have no children, but I really feel like she should have told them when she accepted the position since she is going to take up the training time then leave them short staffed. I think it is more of a courtesy issue than an obligation. What do you all think? But since I have no children I have no idea how I would handle this situation in reality.


And for the record, I just sat and watched and kept my mouth shut. I really like working with this girl and will be sad to see her go.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:33 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by dakcp2001 View Post
We had a huge blowout at work last night, and I watched it all unfold. As you have probably read before,I have no children so I think that biases my opinion on the matter. I was just wondering what you all think of this. There is an employee on my floor who is pregnant, and works nights. She applied for a transfer to another unit, interviewed, and accepted the job. She has not told them she is pregnant, nor does she plan to to tell them until she cant hide it.She is planning to take off the full 12 weeks of unpaid leave allowed. She will be in Training for 3 months. She asked them to postpone her start date a month. So she basically will be in training until she gives birth then she will take her leave. This caused a huge lashing by several of our coworkers. They think what she is doing is unethical and that she should have told them she was pregnant when accepting the position. Others say it is a non issue and she does not need to tell them until she wants to. I get why she wanted the new job, the hours are days and there are 8 hour shifts. We work 12 hour nights. Anyway, she was in tears and several people had a huge fight about this. Again, I have no children, but I really feel like she should have told them when she accepted the position since she is going to take up the training time then leave them short staffed. I think it is more of a courtesy issue than an obligation. What do you all think? But since I have no children I have no idea how I would handle this situation in reality.


And for the record, I just sat and watched and kept my mouth shut. I really like working with this girl and will be sad to see her go.
I think it's her business to disclose when she chooses.

If your company has a standard mat leave policy, I'm tentatively assuming it's a relatively large company, and thus they know anyone can get pregnant or ill or whatever at any time and should have contingencies in place.

She'll be trained, she'll be out three months and then presumably come back and do the job she trained for. If she starts training at 6 months pregnant, surely they'll notice that pretty quick and have three months to make accomodations.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:55 AM   #3
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I do not think she needed to disclose the pregnancy while applying for the job, and I certainly can understand her wanting to get to know people in the new position for a week or two before telling them she is pregnant.

I think delaying as long as possible before telling the boss s not really a nice thing to do--it would be better to give them more time to plan for the 3 months she will be off.

I also would not have delayed the start date to make the training end right at the start of maternity leave. It is easy for someone to forget things the learn in training and then do not put into practice for three months--especially sleepless busy months as a new mom. It would be smarter to get some practice in the new position done first.
There is also a decent chance of pregnancy related issues causing er to leave a few weeks sooner than she is expecting and then she would miss the end of training.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:05 AM   #4
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Reading this, I would say it would be entirely up to her when she discloses the fact she is pregnant. The fact of the matter is, she will be taking 12 weeks UNPAID leave. This is no different than somebody taking a career break or having to take short notice unpaid leave to care for a relative. It is not as though by accepting a new position she will be receiving any extra benefit from the company.

My company has very good benefits in place for those who fall ill or become pregnant, (option of 9 months leave, 6 months fully paid.) I hear of many cases of this privilege being abused and it really annoys me. In my opinion this lady has done nothing wrong.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:27 AM   #5
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It's always curious to me how many people think that as workers we owe our business a certain amount of consideration in relation to employment status, but not the other way 'round. If this company were to have difficulties would they give the current workers prior notice or would you just wake up one morning and not have jobs? It is a two way street. No one owes their company more in consideration than the company owes their employees.

Realistically and logistically, I have two questions:

1. Is this a day to day job or a job with longer term deadlines? For example, even though I do much of my work on a rotating monthly, quarter and semi-annual basis, I really only have about 4 deadlines and only one is set in stone for the entire year. I certainly have more than enough work for the year, but, if I needed to take off a month to have a baby, I could schedule it - people in my type of job do it and manage pretty well. (Come to think of it, they do always look a bit tired.)

2. If it's a day to day job, how is the department coping NOW? They must have some failsafe mechanism in place. So all this department would be doing would be going back into that mode until she came back from having a baby - just the same as they would if she had her baby after working there for 5 years.

Still. It would probably be prudent for this coworker to tell her boss sooner rather than later.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:29 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dakcp2001 View Post
And for the record, I just sat and watched and kept my mouth shut. I really like working with this girl and will be sad to see her go.
Best thing you could've done! It's between her and the employer, not the other employees.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:34 AM   #7
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I'm not a nurse, but I did apply for a transfer while pregnant. I did tell the manager who interviewed me at the time. My thought is, my goal is always win-win. If for some reason, this is not going to work out, I want to know NOW. I didn't want any extra stress, especially while pregnant.

He wound up being the best manager I ever had!! We worked together for many years.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:34 AM   #8
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This seems to be a common problem at many businesses. The issue is she took a position knowing that she is going to be leaving them shorthanded, immediately after her training.

As a single-childless male I find it a bit discriminatory that people with family seem to get extra time off, to leave early or come in late without consequences.

All I hear from the bosses is "well they have kids", so that means I have to do their jobs.

My response is EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK. Just because you have children does not mean I should have to do part of your work.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:35 AM   #9
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As you asked about "the rest of the world" this part of the world wants to add her two cents.

Over here, you wouldn't have to disclose a pregnancy during an interview but as soon as you know you are pregnant you are to tell your employer. Mostly that means telling them after 12 weeks, unless you work in a field (lab work, heavy lifting etc.) where you can't / aren't allowed to work while you are pregnant.

I have a few friends who, right after scoring their first job out of university, got pregnant (on purpose) as soon as their probation period ended. It's legit. Of course. I feel it gives the employer the feedback that employing a woman in her 20s/30s will just lead to her getting pregnant and leaving asap. Thus, I well... don't find that habit very favorable.

However, we get far more than the 12 weeks you have over there. We actually have a right to 24 months parental leave (14 months of paid parental leave after giving birth and get 14 weeks of maternity leave! If you have another child within that time, you may just add another 24 months. And if you were on a permanent contract, your employer has to give you your job back, you have a right to ask for coming back part-time. It's great for you, really, but sometimes a pain to find a job if you are in your early 30s, married and have no children.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:36 AM   #10
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In a perfect world, she could have disclosed the pregnancy and it wouldn't have been a consideration. In our world, she might not have gotten the job.

You did the right thing to stay out of it. It sounds like some of the other employees are angry because they wanted the job.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:40 AM   #11
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It's legal and it's her business. It doesn't concern me and I wouldn't be gossiping about it.

I'm presuming that if they don't know she's pregnant, it's because she's not far enough along to be showing. If that is so, I can't blame her for not wanting to tell anyone.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:41 AM   #12
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It has nothing to do with needing time off because she has kids. She is due 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the FMLA, the same way a childless man would be due 12 weeks of unpaid leave to address whatever medical or family issues he might encounter --- an operation or a sick parent or whatever.

In my work experience, I have oddly found that women are much harder on each other regarding pregnancy leave than any of the male bosses or executives with which I've worked. I've always found that kind of strange. I've found usually the women screaming and back stabbing and putting the guilt trips on each other and not being supportive rather than the men.

I've known plenty of women who have used the legal rights they have in not bringing their pregnancy status into the job and promotion process in order to protect their careers. I feel it is their right to do that and I don't blame them a bit for not voluntarily jumping over to the "Mommy track" if that isn't where they want to be.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:58 AM   #13
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It appears you have a lot of employees behaving unprofessionally and I am referring to the people making it their business. Getting in a fight at work about another coworker's position and having that person in tears over it is something that as a supervisor I would not be tolerating.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:01 AM   #14
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Might be a little unprofessional but totally her business. And shame on those who berated her, regardless of how they feel.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:02 AM   #15
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I would have told my future boss that I was pregnant, because guess what? Her new boss is going to figure out that the employee was pregnant when she interviewed and that she manipulated the system to her advantage. It will somewhat color the new boss's perception of this woman as being a bit...sneaky. At least it would if I were her new boss.

From a purely "legal" standpoint she's done nothing wrong but there is more to relationships at work than the pure legal. I always do what I think is the right thing to do, regardless of what my job could or would do to me. I try to act with ethics & integrity at all times. Makes it easier to look at my 50 year old face in the mirror every morning.

But then again, if your hospital's "grapevine" works like my hospital's grapevine, the new boss knows she's pregnant.
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