Help!

[goofinoff]

Originally Posted by pigletgirl

I am over here tearing up!
It's so nice to be able to relate to others about this! It feels like such a faux pas to be upset or disappointed in your own child's gender. But, we love our child regardless and we will be definitely finding out. Tomorrow is my birthday and I intend to not let this get in the way.

Thank you again for your kind words!

Happy birthday!!

[Gumbo4x4]

Happy Birthday!!

[marcyinPA]

Originally Posted by holycow

Yes, I think you are crazy.

It doesn't matter. If you are a good mom and attentive to your child you will have a great relationship with them. If you start off unhappy that the child isn't a girl then you aren't starting off on a good start.

I have boys and have great relationships with them. My married son comes over just to visit with me. My mom is shocked! I love it!

Good luck to you and I really hope you can change your attitude.

Wow! What's it like being perfect?

[punkin]

When my second DD was born and the doctor said "it's a girl" my DH said "are you sure?"

It took him about 3 minutes to get over the initial shock (he really wanted a boy - we already had a girl) and fall in love completely. She still has him wrapped around her little finger.

Don't worry...boys are great and wonderful (says a proud Auntie of 3 boys) and not one bit less loving than girls. I wish you a healthy and happy baby of whatever gender.

[luvmy3]

Originally Posted by pigletgirl

Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!

I think once you see that little one on the screen you aren't going to care if its a girl or a boy. You will be in awe of her or him

[Kerrio929]

I know how you feel. When I found out my second DD was a girl I was a little sad. I wanted a boy. But I couldn't imagine having her in my life. She's a gift and I treasure every minute with her. I think it's ok to be shocked and sad but once you hold that little baby all those feelings will be replaced by a love you can't imagine.

[jakenjess]

OP, you're not crazy! We found out the gender of both our children before birth, and when I found out my first was a boy, I wasn't disappointed but I was a little scared. I'm a girl, didn't have any brothers, what did I know about raising a boy?? I was especially nervous about those tween/teen years. Then I talked to my cousin who had already raised a boy, mostly as a single parent, and she said, don't worry, you'll grow right along with him. And she was so right! My now almost adult DS has been the light of my life. He's very much like me, and I feel we have a great relationship. He's every bit a teenage boy but he's a great kid and I can't imagine life without him.

The second time around I was thinking it would be great to have another boy, and God blessed us with a beautiful little girl , so I have the best of both worlds. Wishing you the very best!

[ChiCat]

I don't have kids but you sound like my BFF. She was so mad and practically disgusted with even the thought of having a boy when she was pregnant. She knew it was ridiculous but sometimes you can't help your feelings. She had a little boy and is madly in love with him

[erin1715]

Sorry but for those of you telling her to ignore those who are "projecting their own disappointments onto you", way to be sensitive. You have no idea what its like to try and try for a baby and never get one. So whether the OP's feelings are normal or not, what gives you the right to dismiss the feelings of those who can't have children.

All we were trying to do is give the OP a little perspective. Until you've gone through IF, you have no idea what it's like and how appreciative any woman should be that she can get pregnant and carry a child for 9 months, no matter what the gender.

[rszdtrvl]

As horrible as it may sound, I felt exactly the same way, only I wanted a little boy so bad and the ultrasound the midwife did on me saw a little girl.

I was devistated. And I know it sounds horrible, but it was true.

She sent me to get a more thorough ultrasound, and it was there that I discovered we were having the little boy I had always dreamed of having!

I felt awful, being so bummed out about the prospect of possibly having a girl instead of a boy. Even my family was slightly concerned for me, because ever since I was a child, all I wanted was a little boy.

I know now that if I had been blessed with a girl instead of a boy, I would be happy.

But I am sooooo thrilled that I got my little boy! I am the same kid who only wanted a bald headed Cabbage Patch boy for Christmas in 1984, LOL. Just to show how deep my desire for a little boy was.

[momof1princess]

OP, i understand. when i was pregnant, i desperately wanted a baby boy to carry on DH's family name. when i found out we were having a girl, i'll admit, i was a little disappointed. however, when she was born, i fell in love with her immediately. she's now a beautiful young lady, 15 years old; she's smart, kind, funny, and i can't imagine my life without her in it. we weren't able to have a 2nd child, due to childbirth complications, but we're SO blessed. best wishes to you! :

[pigletgirl]

Originally Posted by erin1715

Sorry but for those of you telling her to ignore those who are "projecting their own disappointments onto you", way to be sensitive. You have no idea what its like to try and try for a baby and never get one. So whether the OP's feelings are normal or not, what gives you the right to dismiss the feelings of those who can't have children.

All we were trying to do is give the OP a little perspective. Until you've gone through IF, you have no idea what it's like and how appreciative any woman should be that she can get pregnant and carry a child for 9 months, no matter what the gender.

And what gives you the right to say my feelings aren't valid?

I've struggled with this for awhile now. It took a lot of guts to post this. Someday if you happen to be in my shoes, maybe you'd understand. And I love my baby to the ends of the earth and I have bonded with him/her, but I do have some dreams and desires. Is that not OK? I won't love the baby less because he's a boy, or more than any other child I have because she's a girl.

Again, I'm sorry you've struggled with infertility, but don't use that as a pass to put others down. I hope one day your dream comes true.

[palmtreegirl]

I was totally convinced DS was a girl. It was my second pregnancy and we already had our DD, my mom had 2 girls, her mom had 2 girls....... When I found out DS was a boy through an amnio(I had for other medical reasons) I was shocked. I remember saying a boy, really? Are you sure? lol.

But after a few minutes the shock wore off and the excitement began and now I can't imagine my life otherwise and wouldn't change it for anything in the world!


Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

[NHdisneylover]

Does it help at all to be reminded that you can't know the personality of a kid just based on gender?

Really, if i had wanted a girl so I could dress her in ruffles and bows and take her to dance recitals I would have been sorely disappointed. My DD15 is not frilly, or very girlie at all (no interest in make up or polishing her nails, hates mani pedis, etc) and her big interests are Girl Scouts (especially travel and outdoor stuff) and karate (she has a blackbelt).

If i had wanted a boy to be all rough and tumble and play sports I would have been sorely disappointed. My son is very loving and gentle, the only traditional sport he cares for is basketball but he has danced for years (ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop).

Yes, we all say that we have backwards kids in this family

My point is that your kids, like mine, will end up being awesome and having so many lovable qualities and ways to connect with you, and the odds are good this will not be in the preconceived ways you are imagining right now--no matter what gender they are.

[goodeats]

When I was pregnant with DD1 I definitely preferred a girl, and found out the sex at my 20W ultrasound since I didn't want to chance any disappointment in the delivery room. With DD2, I really wanted another girl since I loved having a sister, and just pictured my family being two girls. Just in case, I prepared myself for a boy. I totally convinced myself I was having a son. To the point that he was "Baby Jack". Then at my ultrasound I found out it was another girl! I guess I prepared myself too well, because I was slightly disappointed! Even now I get a little sad that I'll never (most likely) have a son, but I love being the mom to two little girls!

Either way you're going to be thrilled!