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Old 12-06-2012, 01:27 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by SaraJayne View Post
Sam, you should know by now there is no such thing as venting here. It is not allowed in the perfect world of the Dis. You will be torn apart, mocked, criticized, called awful, fill-in-the-blank, etc.

No one has ever been annoyed by an over-sharing acquaintance or just had a pissy day in general where everything annoys them. Nope, not here.
Of course I have, but I don't feel the need to share it with strangers on the internet. If I did, I would fully expect people to tell me that I'm being a whiner - because, well, that's pretty much the definition of being a whiner.

And I'm sorry, I don't think treating a person like they are a stalk of celery is the kind of behavior that should be encouraged. You absolutely have the right to be pissy about spending 30 seconds listening to a coworker, but I think it's pretty sad to brag about it. And yes, posting stuff like this on the internet is bragging - even if it makes you look bad.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:33 PM   #47
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I would recommend then, OP, NEVER to visit the south and casually say the words "How are you?" to ANYONE, particularly a cashier.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:40 PM   #48
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You know, there is a reason all the ecards on Pinterest are so popular, and yes, funny!

Some people need to bring the self-righteousness down a bit. Because honestly, I simply cannot believe that people don't get annoyed ever and turn around and vent about it.

And yes, there are times I'm having a bad day and not everyone and their need to talk , is completely welcome... There.. I said it!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:40 PM   #49
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I would recommend then, OP, NEVER to visit the south and casually say the words "How are you?" to ANYONE, particularly a cashier.
I laughed.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:43 PM   #50
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There are coworkers who I would have no problem with them sharing this information. To me, it comes down to the relationship you have with someone.
And I guess you are no longer taking applications for entrance into this club?
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:48 PM   #51
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And I guess you are no longer taking applications for entrance into this club?
Applications accepted, not always granted.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:48 PM   #52
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No problem eliza. I knew I would get these kinds of responses.

Believe me, I'm not upset. Did it annoy me? Yes, just because I'm not that interested in others' (in general) personal lives. There are coworkers who I would have no problem with them sharing this information. To me, it comes down to the relationship you have with someone.

On an annoyance scale, this probably ranks about 1-2. But I'm bored, and thought I'd throw it out on the Dis.
Maybe use this as a learning opportunity. Next time, instead of saying, "No, can I help you?" when someone asks if you've seen another co-worker, maybe lead with "Is it a work thing?" and if they say "yes", then you ask "Can I maybe help you?" If they say "no", then you say, "Oh ... OK. Well, if I see them, I'll tell them you're looking for them."

Don't assume that everyone you talk to automatically knows the sub-context ("'A' and I work in similar departments and often I can do what he does") of a generic statement like "No, can I help you?"

Lots of people are used to sharing. If you don't want to hear unnecessary information, ask more specific questions.

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Old 12-06-2012, 01:52 PM   #53
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Unless I'm missing it, the only thing I could have done different was say "I'm sorry to hear that." The problem is, by the time I could get a word in, it was pretty much past the time it was appropriate. And yes, "I'm sorry" he had a stroke. I wish he didn't. I'm sure someone will say I'm changing my story but I don't think so. I did not need the background of why he needed cab information.
I got the sense you were most annoyed that he shared his medical background of having a stroke in his explanation, though the explanation in and of itself annoyed you as well.

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Background... One of my coworkers ('A') gets a cab to/from work every day.

The story... A coworker ('B') passes me in the hallway and asks if I've seen 'A'. Me: No, can I help you ('A' and I worked in similar departments and often I can do what he does)?
B: Well, you may know I had some medical issue (he might have said a small stroke) a while back and I'm still not allowed to drive. I have to be in at 6am on 'x' day to fill in for 'C', and my wife is working late the night before and won't be home until 1am. It wouldn't be good for me to ask her to bring me to work, so I wanted to talk to 'A' about the cab company he uses and how much it costs and how reliable they are. Can you tell 'A' I'm looking for him?
Me:uh, sure.

Why are people so willing to share medical issues? I'm sorry, I really don't care. A simple "I need to talk to him about the cab company he uses" would have been just fine.
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Yes, it is very minor vent. I don't care that he had the stroke (or whatever). I don't care that he's filling in for someone. I don't care that his wife is working late and he doesn't want to ask her for a ride. I thought it was strange that he went into all the extra information when a simple "I want to talk to him about the cab company" would have sufficed.
Overall in the scheme of life, not a huge deal. And others are right, you are entitled to vent. (Though others are entitled to their opinions as well.)

I just think that, in life, getting past these little annoyances and having an open heart towards others, even when they're slightly annoying, can make our daily life a little bit more meaningful. YMMV. (And not that I'm perfect when it comes to that, cause God knows I have my hot button issues, too. But I do try to keep that in mind as much as I can.)

A story that comes to mind when in discussing this, and only sharing because maybe it will make an impact with someone, somewhere. You might know, I'm a nurse. And yes, it's part of my job to listen to people when they're hurting or venting. But even so, the degree to which we listen can vary. In the past two weeks I had two different patients who were having really tough times. Thankfully I had time on those shifts to do this, but during some particularly tough moments, I pulled up a chair, got comfy, and just sat with those patients and listened. Individully, each thanked me profusely, but also said I'd made a difference to them. Imagine that - no heroics, no extraordinary feats of medical brilliance, nothing special, really - just listened and cared, and I made a difference to them. A little caring really does go a long way. It's often what people remember when recalling things even years later.

Granted, different than your situation, but something to keep in mind when talking to people. I mean, nobody wants to get stuck hearing medical details over and over again from the same person or whatever, but I think in your situation, it really wasn't a big deal. Life does get stressful, but some things we just have to let go... looking at hormone fluctuation when we're upset or annoyed vs when we're peaceful and happy, it really does affect us and our whole being. Good feelings bring on endorphins and those "feel good" hormones can have lasting affects for hours. If you try to change your feelings about it, going from negative to positive, as in, you helped him somehow, you could have walked away feeling good about that conversation. Something to think about.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:55 PM   #54
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:55 PM   #55
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Maybe use this as a learning opportunity. Next time, instead of saying, "No, can I help you?" when someone asks if you've seen another co-worker, maybe lead with "Is it a work thing?" and if they say "yes", then you ask "Can I maybe help you?" If they say "no", then you say, "Oh ... OK. Well, if I see them, I'll tell them you're looking for them."
Or, just smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:57 PM   #56
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I would recommend then, OP, NEVER to visit the south and casually say the words "How are you?" to ANYONE, particularly a cashier.
So true!! I had a cashier once who owned a talking bird and she went into great detail about it and how she is getting older and might die soon and neither of her kids wanted her bird. I voiced some sort of sympathy and the next thing I know she was trying to figure out a way that I could inherit her talking bird!

As they say at Flights of Wonder in AK, "I have FOB!--fear of birds!" So no, I do not wish to inherit a talking bird that lives to be 80 years old.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:58 PM   #57
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Seeing as I'm big girl enough to admit that I shouldn't be like this but I am, there are those people, who if you came up to me and said X is looking for you, I'd be like thinking what does X want now and it will not be high on my list things to take care of, so as to avoid the person who make me go .

Now, if there was some added info, even with it still being X, who wanting to talk to me and it would still makes me go , since I had the added piece of info that due to their health issues they need some info from me, I would be more willing to pull my big girl panties up and put forth a bit more effort to go deal with someone who makes me go .

Maybe the guy knows that he's that person to the cab rider and figured that the more info to pass on, the more likely it would be to get his answers.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:59 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by furb & dez View Post
Apparently the cow-orker is a Twatter user.

OP, some people are simply attention- and sympathy-"seekers". You're just an audience for them (if you let them...).

Everybody STOP! We need to back up for just a minute....

A WHAT user???
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:09 PM   #59
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Everybody STOP! We need to back up for just a minute....

A WHAT user???


I saw that to and had to laugh.

The er on the end of that is the only thing keeping it from being starred out. That is a good one. I'll have to remember that one.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:14 PM   #60
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Seeing as I'm big girl enough to admit that I shouldn't be like this but I am, there are those people, who if you came up to me and said X is looking for you, I'd be like thinking what does X want now and it will not be high on my list things to take care of, so as to avoid the person who make me go .

Now, if there was some added info, even with it still being X, who wanting to talk to me and it would still makes me go , since I had the added piece of info that due to their health issues they need some info from me, I would be more willing to pull my big girl panties up and put forth a bit more effort to go deal with someone who makes me go .

Maybe the guy knows that he's that person to the cab rider and figured that the more info to pass on, the more likely it would be to get his answers.
Good theory. What got passed on... "A, B's looking for you."
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