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Old 12-06-2012, 12:35 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by furb & dez View Post
Haven't you heard, sam? Life is all black and white on the DIS. You've got at least a good three pages of clucking to endure, now that you've outed yourself as a horrible, horrible person for not wanting to be subjected to virtual strangers' medical problems.

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Originally Posted by sam_gordon View Post
Too true.

It's been a couple days since we've had a good "beat down" on here, so I thought I'd give people somewhere to focus their negative energy.

So you come here to complain, most of us don't agree with you, so now we're the bad guys.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:40 PM   #32
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No offense Sam, but I do find it kind of funny and ironic in light of some of your posts here detailing your kids' sports problems to the nth detail.

Not that I minded those posts, just as I don't mind hearing about people's medical or other problems. At some point, all of us will have issues we want to talk about that affect us, that others couldn't care less about if they don't affect them. That's just how life is.

It wouldn't kill you to have a bit more empathy and compassion, cause some day you or your loved ones may be on the receiving end yourself. In fact, this is the perfect season to "get into the spirit".

Of course, maybe I'm a little sensitive today because someone close to me had a pretty devastating stroke last week.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:40 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by snapppyd View Post
So you come here to complain, most of us don't agree with you, so now we're the bad guys.
Not what I tried to say. If that's how it sounded, I apologize.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:42 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by sam_gordon View Post
Yes, it is very minor vent. I don't care that he had the stroke (or whatever). I don't care that he's filling in for someone. I don't care that his wife is working late and he doesn't want to ask her for a ride. I thought it was strange that he went into all the extra information when a simple "I want to talk to him about the cab company" would have sufficed.
Using the same logic, he would be walking away immediately after you said "no, can I help you?" because you wouldn't be able to help him anyway.

I don't see what the big deal was and you are just being hard.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:47 PM   #35
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No offense Sam, but I do find it kind of funny and ironic in light of some of your posts here detailing your kids' sports problems to the nth detail.
I see posting online as different. For the main reason, if I open a thread to read, and then it turns out it doesn't interest me, I can close it. I don't have to read the whole thread or even the whole OP. I get to CHOOSE what I read. Not really the case IRL. Others I'm sure will disagree.

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Not that I minded those posts, just as I don't mind hearing about people's medical or other problems. At some point, all of us will have issues we want to talk about that affect us, that others couldn't care less about if they don't affect them. That's just how life is.
You are correct

Quote:
It wouldn't kill you to have a bit more empathy and compassion, cause some day you or your loved ones may be on the receiving end yourself. In fact, this is the perfect season to "get into the spirit".
Unless I'm missing it, the only thing I could have done different was say "I'm sorry to hear that." The problem is, by the time I could get a word in, it was pretty much past the time it was appropriate. And yes, "I'm sorry" he had a stroke. I wish he didn't. I'm sure someone will say I'm changing my story but I don't think so. I did not need the background of why he needed cab information.
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Of course, maybe I'm a little sensitive today because someone close to me had a pretty devastating stroke last week.
I'm sorry to hear that.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:47 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by eliza61 View Post
Sorry Sam,
as much as I enjoy your post I gotta go with the other posters.

Are we really so self absorbed that some one sharing 1 minute of their life with us has become an annoyance? Yes, I too have had those folks who shared waaay to much information but really what's the harm?

Look at it this way. You shared your space with some one for a few minutes and you never know how you touch people.

consider it your Christmas gift to your fellow office mates.
I agree. This coworker might very well have been having a horrible day, you know what with his recent stroke for crying out loud, and talking to someone else was what he needed. It's a pretty sad day if a person can't give 30 seconds to another person in need.

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No worries Mate,

I'm one of those people who for some reason perfect strangers will talk to. My dh would crack up with laughter. When we lived in NYC, we'd get on the train and it was a lead pipe certainity that the old lady sitting next to me would launch into her entire medical history and how her kids don't visit enough!!
This happens to me too! I've had complete strangers start telling me their life story and I patiently listen and comment. Who knows what kind of life they've had, what kind of battle (health wise) they may be fighting. It's not too much to give a bit of time and it doesn't annoy me at all.

OP, I realize everyone is different and you're not required to listen to every coworker but this post came across kind of harsh and uncaring. Your poor coworker had a stroke and can't drive himself to work. You don't feel anything for this guy? Heck, I don't even know him and I feel badly for his situation.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:48 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by sam_gordon View Post
Not what I tried to say. If that's how it sounded, I apologize.

Just so we're straight, I think you are the one with the negative energy.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:49 PM   #38
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just so we're straight, i think you are the one with the negative energy.
ok.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:50 PM   #39
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Just so we're straight, I think you are the one with the negative energy.
By its very definition, isn't that a vent is?
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:04 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by sam_gordon View Post
Yes, it is very minor vent. I don't care that he had the stroke (or whatever). I don't care that he's filling in for someone. I don't care that his wife is working late and he doesn't want to ask her for a ride. I thought it was strange that he went into all the extra information when a simple "I want to talk to him about the cab company" would have sufficed.
You poor dear! You had to spend 30 seconds listening to a coworker instead of pretending that he was a piece of furniture - that's terrible! Why on earth would that man think he's entitled to some human dignity?
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:17 PM   #41
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Sam, you should know by now there is no such thing as venting here. It is not allowed in the perfect world of the Dis. You will be torn apart, mocked, criticized, called awful, fill-in-the-blank, etc.

No one has ever been annoyed by an over-sharing acquaintance or just had a pissy day in general where everything annoys them. Nope, not here.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:18 PM   #42
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Maybe this guy really hasn't had a stroke (do you know if he actually did?) but really can't drive because he doesn't have a license (suspension/dui) and doesn't want you to think that he needs a cab for anything other than a medical reason . Maybe that's why he had what you consider diarrhea of the mouth.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:19 PM   #43
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Sorry that the conversation bothered you. For what it's worth, I don't think I'm an "over sharer" in general, but in your situation I could see myself blathering on like your co-worker did. Your offer to help ("can I help you") would have thrown me off and I would have felt compelled to explain why I needed to talk to A directly. Yes, a succinct "I want some info about the cab company he uses" would have done the trick, but what you witnessed was probably your coworker's version of "well, um... it's nothing against you, but he's the only one with the information that I need....and it might sound like it's a non-work related question, but it really does kind of relate to work..."

Sorry that you were so bothered by it though...
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:26 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sam_gordon View Post
Yes, it is very minor vent. I don't care that he had the stroke (or whatever). I don't care that he's filling in for someone. I don't care that his wife is working late and he doesn't want to ask her for a ride. I thought it was strange that he went into all the extra information when a simple "I want to talk to him about the cab company" would have sufficed.
Next time you are faced with a similar situation be sure to say "do you have a work-related issue I can help you with"... this way people will know not to bother you with any personal information.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:27 PM   #45
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Sam,

I think it is nice that you say you are sorry he did have the stroke or whatever ('cause you weren't really listening, you did not care enough to listen) after saying you don't care that he had one or whatever. It kind of makes hearing that about you seem better. I could understand more if you said, "I don't care that he broke his toe or whatever", but having a stroke? That sounded heartless.

Anyway, as a hairdresser, I small talk with people all.day.long. I see clients who I have known for almost 30 years now and our conversations are even deeper than small talk. People need people to hear them and to care. You never know what is going on in someone's life and just need to be heard.

I understand that you aren't into the details and some people do very detailed details that have nothing to do with the story even, everyone's different! Then there are some people who want to say they are fine, hope I'm fine and hurry it up so they can go home, lol. It's all good in my book.
My dad used to get frustrated with people who asked a lot of questions--he'd say, "What are you doing, writing a book?" He did not want to share anything with anyone. And my MIL who gives every detail of the family's history back to the Mayflower and where each is buried.

Too many words, I'm sure, but want to say is you just never know what someone is going through and how they may need some sort of personal interaction.
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