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Old 12-05-2012, 07:25 AM   #31
MichelleinMaine
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Originally Posted by Andtototoo View Post
If we had younger kids in the house, there would be no shared bedrooms. I think that sets up a precedent I wouldn't want set. "Well, brother is only X years older and HE gets to have sex in the house, so why can't I?" Yeah, not going there. Way way easier not to even open that door.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:49 AM   #32
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His girlfriend for Christmas break. I don't think she will be here on Christmas as her family is heading to Disney! How great is that.

He is going to a school that is 75% male to female ratio, and somehow he found a. Disney loving girl!

Now the big question. I know the my house my rules thing. Should I lay down the you can't sleep together in my house(we have other kids in the house) I am not sure how strongly I feel about it.
How are strangers on the internet supposed to know your moral compass better than you do?
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:54 AM   #33
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In my house, they would be in separate beds.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:56 AM   #34
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I'm 25 and bringing home my first boyfriend (in just over a week ). My parents' house will be packed, but I didn't dare even suggest us sharing a bed because I knew the answer. My older sister and her DH couldn't share a bed until they were married.

OP, if that's how you want it, that's how you want it. It's your house.
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:01 AM   #35
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I would not allow it. I would never allow it. No ring= no sleeping together in my house.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:10 AM   #36
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I know I'm in the minority here, but I didn't have a problem with my adult son sharing a room with his girlfriend when they visited. I think he was about 19 the first time the issue came up.
Around the end of 17/beginning of 18 we started to slowly shift our relationship from one of we're the parents, do as I say to one where we were letting him make his own decisions/choices and we were there for guidance if needed.
That being said, both dh and I have no problem at all with cohabitating couples, or think that there is anything abnormal about 18 and 19 year olds being involved in a sexual relationship without the benefit of marriage. So, being that we didnt have a moral objection, it wasn't that big of a deal.

To be fair, none of my kids are even close to this stage in their lives, but I imagine that this is how I would feel about it too.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:28 AM   #37
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Honestly, I wouldn't even have a conversation. When the kids arrive, simply say Suzy's bed is made up in the office or in the girls' room or John is sleeping on the floor in the living room while Suzy takes his bed.

When I first went home to meet my future inlaws, I was graciously shown around the house and dropped at the guest bedroom and my husband taken down the hall to the childrens' room. We had no conversation about anything and all boundaries were respected.

If your son brings it up again, I would tell him the arrangements and make sure he knew they would not be changing.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:34 AM   #38
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How are strangers on the internet supposed to know your moral compass better than you do?
I know where my morals lie. I am looking for just general opinions. And I appreciate each and every one of them.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:40 AM   #39
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Because of the younger siblings in the house, I would tell them separate rooms. It's only for a few nights, they can handle it.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:48 AM   #40
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I'm pretty liberal, but I'd have them sleep in different rooms, especially with the other kids there. However, make sure you let him know ahead of time, instead of telling them together (awkward!).

When DH and I were dating, my parents paid for our hotel room when we attended my sister's college graduation. I wouldn't have felt comfortable sleeping with him at their home.
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:06 AM   #41
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Weird question. When DD20's BF (of a year) stays here, he is in a separate room. I never discussed it with my DD (nor the BF). I just told him where he would be sleeping. My house - my rules.
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:13 AM   #42
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Separate rooms. That's the way my parents did it and we abided by it. I'd choose the same. I do not think DD would even pose the question (esp. as a college freshman).
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:16 AM   #43
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At my parents' house, my boyfriend and I share a bed. I don't think my 8 year old little sister is going to be scarred for life over it. Just because we share a bed at night doesn't mean we're doing anything other than sleeping in it.

At his parents' house, we sleep in separate rooms and we're totally fine with that, as that is what makes his mother comfortable.
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:28 AM   #44
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There would be no questions about where DS and his girlfriend would sleep. If you aren't married, you won't be sharing a bed in our house.
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:30 AM   #45
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My boyfriend and I shared a bed at my parent's house and his parents. My brother, than 4 at the time, now 8 has never questioned it. When my boyfriend and I bought our first home my brother 7 at the time said "now will you get married already???" We all laughed. 10 months later we still aren't married, but we did finally get engaged .

I don't think sharing a bed will do anything to the younger ones unless a big deal is made about it. More than likely they won't care. My younger brother just wants to call my boyfriend his brother.

For what it's worth we were 19/21 when we shared a bed and I was a college sophomore and he was senior. We are 25/27 now and still more in love than ever
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