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Old 12-05-2012, 12:53 AM   #31
IUTBAM
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My DH was a teacher and I was an executive assistant when we got married in the summer. That upcoming school year turned out to be his last year teaching, as he decided to go back to grad school. We up and moved to College Station (we're Aggies) for him to go to school. He took out student loans, got a TA position, and I got a full time job (no kids). It was a very stressful 2 years for him to get his Master's (he was tired of teaching and wanted to go back to a science based career). But it was worth. He graduated in 1990 with his Master's, and has moved up the corporate ladder quite nicely. I've been a stay at home mom since 1993 when our first child was born, and I still like to tease him about the two years that I was the major breadwinner. But my gosh it was stressful...we were still essentially newlyweds, and he was a very serious student, and I was working for an employer I hated, but knew I had to have a job to support us (his meager TA salary didn't go far). I can't even fathom what it would have been like if we'd had children. My hat is off to anyone who goes to school full time with kids...wow...you rock.

But, him going back to grad school is what secured our future, and while it was stressful, it has definitely paid off 100 times over.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:00 AM   #32
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My husband got a Masters when our son was little. He was able to do his school work in the evening after DS and I were in bed. He also had one night class and a 5/6 hour class on Saturdays through most of it. We were stuck at home-no big vacationing while he was taking classes. He didn't find the work particularly hard although it was time consuming. I don't remember feeling bad about his schedule other than to worry about him working, going to school and having a family life. He's a very active dad and husband; it was harder on him than me.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:26 AM   #33
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For us, it's a serious commitment on both our parts that merits discussion about the details.
I totally agree. Family time is HUGE as well as both of your commitments to this. It is something that both of you have to decide on. Good luck.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:28 AM   #34
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If it's going to help him in his career, you suck it up and make due. It's not forever, he's not moving away to do it. The kids sound old enough to understand. Geeze, my kids go in two different directions for things and we each take one so it's rare to have both of us at the same and I don't foresee therapy bills in the near future
Wow. Who mentioned therapy bills? And as I understand it, the OP's kids are fairly old. There are certain activities in high school that maybe dad doesn't want to miss?
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:43 AM   #35
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DH just finished his master's degree about a year ago. Our kids are 13 and 15.
DH's degree was very time consuming and he was working full time. There was a graduate project that he worked on for months. I never thought that thing was going to get finished.

He recently retired from the military and I think his degree helped him get a job quickly. I think it was worth the trouble now, but it was a struggle at the time.
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:34 AM   #36
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DH just finished his master's degree about a year ago. Our kids are 13 and 15.
DH's degree was very time consuming and he was working full time. There was a graduate project that he worked on for months. I never thought that thing was going to get finished.

He recently retired from the military and I think his degree helped him get a job quickly. I think it was worth the trouble now, but it was a struggle at the time.
DH is about as high as he can go with his current degree (he can go one or 2 levels higher as is), and he's looking ahead 5-7 years when there are going to be a lot of retirements and open positions at the company.

In his case, it would strictly be to advance his already successful career.
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:55 AM   #37
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DH got his MBA 3 weeks before our twins were born. Luckily, he's very bright, so it didn't impact our household too much. He was also working full time (work paid for his graduate school - NYU - pretty pricey!). His feeling were, once you are in graduate school, you can be the top of the class with an A, or the bottom of the class with a B, and no employer cares which one you get. That theory, coupled with a photgraphic memory, made graduate school pretty easy for him.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:04 AM   #38
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DH just finished his PhD in mathematics. During the 6 years it took, we had two daughters. I taught elementary school during that time, and while money was tight, we did okay. He did have quite a nice fellowship though, so that helped tremendously.

The last year was the roughest, by far. He was applying for jobs, traveling to give talks to promote himself, and in the throes of his dissertation. I actually stayed home that year because I had a newborn and he was just traveling so often. It was HARD, but I'm so glad I took that time to be with my family. They needed me much more than a paycheck.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:36 AM   #39
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My dh is currently working on his doctorate and works full time. Our three kids are in upper elementary school. It would have been much more difficult if he had started his program while the kids were still babies and required more attention, but they are old enough now that they entertain themselves a good bit of the time.

There are definitely sacrifices that have to be made, particularly in regards to family time. We also have to plan vacations around dh's school schedule. Luckily, his program has mainly consisted of on-line classes which makes it a lot more flexible. In addition, his doctorate is job related so a lot of his research can be done at work (and they are paying for half of his tuition which helps tremendously).

I work full time and since dh is so busy with school I try to do whatever I can to make things easier for him. I do most of the house related work and running around to pay bills or take kids to their activities to give him more time to focus on homework (or to give him some down time). I'm a little nervous about how much time he's going to have to devote to working on his dissertation next year, but it will all work out in the end.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:39 AM   #40
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My DH went back to school full time to get his MBA. We had two young kids at the time. The school was in a different city so there was about 5 months or so when we were separated (I did not want to pull the kids out of school mid year so did not move to be with him until the summer). He also was getting his CFA at the same time (before and after the MBA, CFA has three levels). So all in all he was in school pretty much for 5 years straight (and we had another kid in there somewhere :P). It was very hard at the time but totally worth it. He now has his MBA and just got his CFA designation (you also need 4 years of work experience in the field) and has his dream job working with some of the best in Canada. It is all due to him doing a career reset and going back to get his MBA (he already had a MSci in Physics).

Good luck with the decision, in our case it worked out excellent. I just quit a very good paying job in IT (weblogic admin) to stay home with my kids. Because of his new career, working became a choice for us.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:51 AM   #41
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There are definitely sacrifices that have to be made, particularly in regards to family time. We also have to plan vacations around dh's school schedule.
Vacations/Family stuff was something we talked about last night. Our niece is getting married in the early summer. My sister is getting married next Fall and that will be a Thurs-Sun event, which would put a serious dent in his study time. All four of us are in the wedding.

We were also planning a vacation in January of 2014 with his siblings, since we all had so much fun on our last siblings vacation in 2011, but that is on hold for now until we have more info about school.

We'll work around the school schedule as best we can.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:32 PM   #42
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DH is about as high as he can go with his current degree (he can go one or 2 levels higher as is), and he's looking ahead 5-7 years when there are going to be a lot of retirements and open positions at the company.

In his case, it would strictly be to advance his already successful career.
It sounds like he is wise to be really considering an advanced degree. One thing to think about is that with the economy, many "kids" are going right from undergrad to grad school so they may be piled high in debt (another topic entirely), but they have master's degrees.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:34 PM   #43
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I finished graduate school 7 month pregnant with my first. DH finished when I was 8 months pregnant with our second. It was stressful at times, but doable.
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:21 PM   #44
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I did my MBA when my oldest son was a small child (he was 3 when I graduated). It wasn't too bad, but there were stretches where I didn't see him for a couple days in a row, because he was in bed by the time I got home and was still asleep when I left for work the next morning.

My wife at the time was working a flex schedule, so fortunately she was around a lot more than she would have been had she been full time.
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:26 PM   #45
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Our daughter was 11 months old when DH gave up teaching and went to law school full time at a university about an 1 hour from where we lived. For the first 2 years, he treated it like his job: he left the house around 7:30 or 8 and returned home each evening around 5:30 or 6. In theory, he did all his studying while he was at school, so that the evenings were family time. Around exam time, he spent more home time studying. His last year, he didn't keep to that schedule, so school interfered with our home life more. At the time, since DD was so little, there wasn't that much evening stuff that he missed. We were also lucky that we had lots of family close by to help us with child care, etc.

It was a struggle for both of us. I can see where it would be a challenge with kids in activities toward the end of high school. Good luck.
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