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Old 11-20-2012, 07:55 PM   #31
luvsJack
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Just an fyi on the hives. It is certainly possible her mom didn't know. Dd breaks out in hives due to temp changes- going from icy cold outside to a heated room. No one would know unless she showed them.
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:31 PM   #32
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Well, I think this young man needs to be taught to say he'd rather not discuss it if he doesn't know how to say it.

Look, with the situation in Israel now and the Dec.21 approaching, this could be a subject that comes up among his friends at school or wherever he socializes. The closer December comes, the topic may come up about the Mayan calendar. It was on our 11 o'clock news last night (but I slept through it. )

And I agree with luvsjack, since this bothers him so much, it might be a topic worth discussing about his beliefs. You never know what your kids are thinking. My sister doesn't believe in Jesus but she is OK with God but no church or anything. Yet 2 of her kids have become Christians. One waited until he turned 18 because his parents were so upset with his choice and the other was secretly baptized this past summer. Who knows what the OP's son is believing or questioning that upsets him about end time events so strongly. It might be worth looking into instead of blowing it off.
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:41 PM   #33
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Yes, excellent post buckalew!

I have a son that is probably close to her son in age.

If these kinds of things were weighing heavily on his mind, I would hope that I could help him work thru it.

It's tough at this age... 'coming of age'... Dealing with heavier realities...

On the one hand, a kid this age might just not want to even talk to mom.
And on the other hand, at least with my son, it seems like when something is troubling him, he is able to, and is probably relieved to, come to me.

It is a fine line...
You have to understand and accept their situation/beliefs/feelings...
Even if they might be different from yours. If not, that line of communication can shut down.

Being open and patient, and having a TON of respect can really help.
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:49 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Wishing on a star View Post
Yes, excellent post buckalew!

I have a son that is probably close to her son in age.

If these kinds of things were weighing heavily on his mind, I would hope that I could help him work thru it.

It's tough at this age... 'coming of age'... Dealing with heavier realities...

On the one hand, a kid this age might just not want to even talk to mom.
And on the other hand, at least with my son, it seems like when something is troubling him, he is able to, and is probably relieved to, come to me.

It is a fine line...
You have to understand and accept their situation/beliefs/feelings...
Even if they might be different from yours. If not, that line of communication can shut down.

Being open and patient, and having a TON of respect can really help.


That's what the OP wants from her mom--respect. If this kid was to decide he does have some kind of Faith than he deserves that same respect. Obviously, end times events fascinate/scare him and there's a reason for that. I think instead of blowing it off as a "we don't believe in that nonsense", it could be worth talking through.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:43 PM   #35
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When he was 7 I took him to a planetarium show. Towards the end they talked about the life cycle of the sun and that in 4 billion years the sun will expand and consume the Earth. Admittedly that is pretty freaky, but this was a show at a kids museum so I had no idea that it would profoundly impact him like it did . I guess if it wasn't that though it would have been something else.

Just to clarify, they weren't intentionally watching the news, it was playing at Pizza Hut (do y'all's have TVs?). According to her she claims that she felt she gave him a legitimate answer to his question. This baffles me as I am not at all religious, but DH who is said that he knows people who would respond similarly, probably FIL for one.

I don't object to him learning what others believe, I know that he's an independent person and I welcome him to come to his own conclusions based on what he's learned. I've even offered that if a belief in an after life would help with his anxiety that I'd take him myself to check it out. He's not interested at this time but I really would accept whatever would make his life happy.

This has made me question my parenting. I was raised quite fundamentalist fire and brimstones, looking over your shoulder, and preparing for the end. It always made me feel inadequate because I had a hard time following the path, and with an impending sense that time was running out. I never wanted DS to feel this way and now he's anxious about death, what happens, and the next apocalypse!
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:10 PM   #36
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This all sounds very familiar. My DS15 has an anxiety disorder too, although his is generalized with not just one trigger. My mom does the same thing with the news. Her favorite saying is "I'm so glad Jesus is coming back soon!". I know she loves my son but she thinks his anxiety disorder is something he needs to just "get over".

In my experience with my mom, saying something would just start an argument and not change anything. Maybe your mom is different. I think you would be better off coaching your son on how to escape the situation when it comes up.
Jesus is coming back soon????!!!!!!!!

I should vacuum. Don't want a messy house when He arrives.

OP, it's pretty simple. If Grandma upsets your son, limit his time with her. If she asks why, tell her it's because the things she says to him upset him and she doesn't seem to understand that.

I'm a big believer in telling the truth.
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:05 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ebtbmom
When he was 7 I took him to a planetarium show. Towards the end they talked about the life cycle of the sun and that in 4 billion years the sun will expand and consume the Earth. Admittedly that is pretty freaky, but this was a show at a kids museum so I had no idea that it would profoundly impact him like it did . I guess if it wasn't that though it would have been something else.

Just to clarify, they weren't intentionally watching the news, it was playing at Pizza Hut (do y'all's have TVs?). According to her she claims that she felt she gave him a legitimate answer to his question. This baffles me as I am not at all religious, but DH who is said that he knows people who would respond similarly, probably FIL for one.

I don't object to him learning what others believe, I know that he's an independent person and I welcome him to come to his own conclusions based on what he's learned. I've even offered that if a belief in an after life would help with his anxiety that I'd take him myself to check it out. He's not interested at this time but I really would accept whatever would make his life happy.

This has made me question my parenting. I was raised quite fundamentalist fire and brimstones, looking over your shoulder, and preparing for the end. It always made me feel inadequate because I had a hard time following the path, and with an impending sense that time was running out. I never wanted DS to feel this way and now he's anxious about death, what happens, and the next apocalypse!
You say that your husband is religious, does he go to church? Maybe your husband or someone from his church can talk to your son about their beliefs.

Don't question your parenting. You obviously love your son very much and want whats best for him.

Teen years can be very confusing fo the parent and the teen.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:43 AM   #38
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OP, Your recent post really struck me....

I will send you a nice PM....

Of course, it is a very busy day, cooking, shopping etc...
So, It might be a while before I get back to the computer.

For now, I will say, don't beat yourself up!!!
Sounds like you are trying to work thru all of this in the best way you can.

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