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Old 10-10-2012, 12:51 PM   #466
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Just stopped in here and saw the update. OP, how did your doctor visit go? Honestly, I would discreetly (without the husband knowing) book a flight and go. Sounds like you have details underway with your lawyer.

Take yourself, take or make arrangements for the cats and head to your family pronto. Thus far your husband has been exhibiting predictable behavior and it is better that you get moved sooner rather than later.

Best wishes..and lots of prayers.
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Old 10-10-2012, 01:43 PM   #467
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OP wanted to let you know you are in my prayers. I've been keeping watch over your progress.

I feel compelled to ask, if you have medical insurance through your husband will it cover you in Canada? You wont lose that until you are divorced.

Please beware of his change of heart. Funny that it was ok when he rejected you and his baby but its so different when you rejected him! Men! UGH!

Your are in all of our thoughts and prayers!
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Old 10-10-2012, 04:00 PM   #468
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Thanks so much for the update OP. Wishing you all the love and support and I know that any decision you make is the right one.

Stay safe and keep sending that baby lots of love.

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Old 10-10-2012, 04:56 PM   #469
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Another quick update.

The Dr appointment went well and my Dr told me to go ahead and fly, but to do it sooner rather than later. So my parents are looking for flights right now - we're looking for a nonstop flight so I don't have to worry about a layover. I'm not going to say on here when I'm planning on leaving, just in case, but once I'm in Canada, I will let you guys know I'm there. My mom is flying over the day before and staying in a hotel, that way DH won't know she's here and hopefully won't suspect anything is going on. To be honest, my mom is really coming in case I freak out about leaving and want to stay - I've told her that, no matter how hard it is or how upset I get, she needs to make me get on that flight. I'm going to leave DH a note telling him where I am, contact information and my attorney's information with regard to the money I'm leaving to cover my share of bills.

The cats are going to stay for now - I know DH won't hurt them, he adores them and he's a big animal lover, I'm confident they'll be safe. Additionally to that, my attorney advised against taking things that are considered joint property and, as horrible as it sounds, pets are considered property.

I appreciate people saying how strong I am, but I certainly don't feel it. I manage OK throughout the day, but at night I'm a mess. I got really upset last night when I realized DH would come home to an empty house and no inkling that I would be gone. It reminded me of when we first moved in together and we'd be so excited to come home to each other after work at the end of the day. I just get so sad sometimes that it's truly over

Oh, and obviously, DH didn't move out like he said he would. He's still in the guest room. The other night I needed the laptop to get some work done, and went to ask DH if he had it - he was on Skype with the other girl and when she saw me in the background, she flipped out and started screaming "WHY is SHE here, she needs to LEAVE, I hate her so much, look how fat she's gotten with the baby, she's disgusting." I (stupidly) waited to see if DH might defend me, especially about the fat comments, but his response to her was "it's OK baby, don't let her upset you."
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:02 PM   #470
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I know it's hard to see your strength when you're in the middle of all these conflicting emotions, but just take our word on this....you are incredibly strong. What I've said many times is that when we can't believe in ourselves, we need to believe someone who believes in us. We all believe in you and can see your amazing strength. It's ok to be sad sometimes--you're feeling the feelings and that's not an easy thing to do. As a matter of fact, I'd be a little concerned about you if you weren't a bit upset over this situation. You are going to be ok!
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:03 PM   #471
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Thank you SO much for the update!!! I'm so glad to hear your doc says you're doing well and you can fly back home.

I have to admit, that last paragraph just about made me toss my lunch. That's just awful that you have to put up with that. Yikes.

I'm glad your mother will be there to support you and help you leave. Best of luck on your travels home and be safe!! We are ALL pulling for you.

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Old 10-10-2012, 05:07 PM   #472
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That last paragraph of your update has me fuming! I am so glad that you are getting away from him and I am so happy that your mom is coming to make sure it happens. I would do the very same thing for my daughter. No one should have to go through what he has done to you!!

Hugs to you! You sound like a very smart girl and you are way to good for that loser!!
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:17 PM   #473
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Thanx for the update OP ... I am so happy that your doctor's appointment went well ... You are a very strong woman and don't ever doubt that for one minute ... Sending to you and your sweet baby and wishing you a safe trip home ...
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:31 PM   #474
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Re this:
Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
my mom is really coming in case I freak out about leaving and want to stay

Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
his response to her was "it's OK baby, don't let her upset you."
Ugh. I think you should write his "it's OK baby, don't let her upset you" sentence down on a piece of paper and anytime you feel like you want to stay you should take that out and reread it.

Still so sorry you are going through this. But it sounds like they both deserve each other, and when you are out of the picture they can go ahead and make each others lives miserable. You just know that's how it will be too. Karma with a capital B.
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:33 PM   #475
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Man, what a loser!! I'm very glad you've got a plan in place and your family is very aware and is helping out. Big hugs to to you and your baby boy!
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:37 PM   #476
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:56 PM   #477
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I have not posted on the thread before but have been following your updates.

OP, I commend you for keeping your head together and figuring out what you need to do at a time where your emotions must be going crazy.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but know that you are stronger than these circumstances. Things are truly miserable now, but focus on the fantastic day you have ahead when you get to meet your baby boy for the first time.

I am saying a prayer for you and sending many good thoughts your way.
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Old 10-10-2012, 05:57 PM   #478
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Glad your plan is in place.

If you had any doubt, his statement to his girlfriend in your presence should solidify in your mind that you are doing the right thing. Remember, they always affair down.....it'll be a wonderful day when reality bites him in the butt when he realizes what he gave up and what he has. It'll be a wonderful day when reality bites her in the butt when she realizes that she has attached herself to a man who has proven that he can cheat....and if she thinks he won't cheat on her, then she is as stupid as we all think she is.

Karma baby, karma.....

One day at a time...think long and hard about if he asks to sign away his parental rights....let him!
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:25 PM   #479
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Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
I appreciate people saying how strong I am, but I certainly don't feel it. I manage OK throughout the day, but at night I'm a mess.
Oh YOU'RE strong. I know where you're coming from - but it's not weak to feel. It's strength. Everyone thinks having no emotions and moving on through life is "look she/he is so strong". Bull. So this "I'm a mess" only translates to "I'm strong enough to actually feel the myriad of emotions - sadness, frustration, fear, anger etc - that are perfectly normal right now".

You are strong.

I don't even know you but I'm in awe of how you're facing it all head on.

Happy to know that you'll be home soon.

And to the PP - it's not uncommon. I have two friends that had husbands that cheated during pregnancy. One found out three days after giving birth.

Last edited by lisaviolet; 10-10-2012 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:43 PM   #480
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Aw man, I just read your op and the updates. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Best wishes on your new start in Canada.

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