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Old 10-05-2012, 02:43 PM   #31
Ginny Favers
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I've dealt with lice in my own family, and I know that after that first comb-out and treatment, we'd pretty much bagged, dried, and vacuumed in such an obsessive way that I was pretty comfortable we'd nipped the problem in the bud.

But I can't be sure that other families know enough or would do the same. There is a lot of lice ignorance out there, and for all the people who overreact, there are plenty who underreact. No matter how many times you go through it, it's still a massive pain to get rid of. I wouldn't risk it.
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:47 PM   #32
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I wouldn't let her go. The year my then-8yo DD started at Montessori, she had lice three times in one semester. There was one family who wouldn't treat, just combed, and weren't terribly diligent about it. Everyone was repeatedly re-infected. Having lice is gross; ever see bugs run across your child's scalp? It's a royal pain in the behind to have to deal with lice, and you don't want to have to go there if it's avoidable.

I'd tell my kid why she couldn't go. I'd ask her not to gossip about it, but I am not going to be the one to arbitrarily tell her she can't go. Why would she trust me again?
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:57 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by cepmom View Post
I totally feel for the birthday girl! She is dds best friend and I really like her but I really don't want to risk dd coming home with unwanted guests! The mom asked me not to tell DD; she doesn't want word getting out and her dd to get teased etc which I totally understand.

I asked her if she would consider rescheduling and she said no. So I had to tell DD she couldn't go but not tell her why...personally I think she should have just sucked it up and rescheduled for another time but she didn't. The thing that gets me is the attitude I got when I told her Dd couldn't go
No I wouldn't let my child go, but why did you lie to your child. Lice is not something to be ashamed of and you want your daughter to know not to share a comb with the child right now.

I would tell her the truth and also let her know she is not to tell anyone at the request of the young girl. Remind her how she would feel if people were talking about her.

I would also make sure to still give the young lady her birthday gift and think of doing something with your daughter if you can like a movie or a trip to the mall.

Teaching your child about trust and compassion are important and this situation will help you to use both as a teaching moment.
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:06 PM   #34
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Make that two! I would let dd go.

Having dealt with lice with not only my own kids, but in the child care setting too, I just don't get as wound up about as some people do.

I am always surprised in these threads the lengths some go to get rid of the things. We never had that much of a problem with it. Shampoo once and wash everything in the house in hot water (if it's in the bedroom or has been laid on and can't be washed--it goes either in a hot dryer or gets bagged up for a day or two) Comb with the nit comb a couple of times and use the shampoo again. Never did we have to do anything after that.

BTW, if by some chance you do send your dd, have her keep her hair in a ponytail and spray liberally with hair spray. Helps keep them away.
Dd has very thick, wavy hair and a tender head. Until she donated her hair, it was very long. We went through lice twice. Not fun. 2 hours of nit picking and combing at night for days and washing, vacuuming everything.

DD had a sleep over in January. When a mom was picking up her daughter, she mentioned that she had just learned that step children at the daughter's dad's house had had lice.

I immediately washed and combed DDs hair to be sure she was lice free.

Call me OCD, but it's not fun to deal with at my house. DD now wears a ponytail daily and knock wood we haven't had to deal with lice in a couple of years.
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:10 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinker'n'Fun

No I wouldn't let my child go, but why did you lie to your child. Lice is not something to be ashamed of and you want your daughter to know not to share a comb with the child right now.

I would tell her the truth and also let her know she is not to tell anyone at the request of the young girl. Remind her how she would feel if people were talking about her.

I would also make sure to still give the young lady her birthday gift and think of doing something with your daughter if you can like a movie or a trip to the mall.

Teaching your child about trust and compassion are important and this situation will help you to use both as a teaching moment.
I didn't lie to her...at the moms request, I didn't tell DD that her friend had head lice. I told DD that someone in their home was contagious and I didn't want to risk her getting it too. I didn't say who or what because I was trying to honor a request. I felt it was up to the friend to tell my DD If she felt okay with it.

The girl talked a little about it today and told DD that the nurse checked her head yesterday and said she was good. I explained to DD that i didn't feel comfortable taking any chances and she agreed with me after I explained what we would have to do if she did get lice.

The girl knows at this point not to share combs or hug or whatever. Another friend tried to hug her yesterday and she immediately backed off and told the hugger she wasn't feeling well and not to get close.

Apparently the other girls are still going and while DD was a little disappointed, she understood why she wasn't going.
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:41 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cepmom View Post
I didn't lie to her...at the moms request, I didn't tell DD that her friend had head lice. I told DD that someone in their home was contagious and I didn't want to risk her getting it too. I didn't say who or what because I was trying to honor a request. I felt it was up to the friend to tell my DD If she felt okay with it.

The girl talked a little about it today and told DD that the nurse checked her head yesterday and said she was good. I explained to DD that i didn't feel comfortable taking any chances and she agreed with me after I explained what we would have to do if she did get lice.

The girl knows at this point not to share combs or hug or whatever. Another friend tried to hug her yesterday and she immediately backed off and told the hugger she wasn't feeling well and not to get close.

Apparently the other girls are still going and while DD was a little disappointed, she understood why she wasn't going.
I hope I didn't come across rude, as that was not my intention. I just was upset that this mother thought it was okay for you not to tell your daughter the truth. It rubbed me the wrong way. I just pointed it out in case of the comb/hat situation.

I taught my daughter not to share also, but at that age they sometimes "forget", like hair ties, cute hats, and such.

I am sorry if my post was upsetting.
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:55 PM   #37
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No way. It can take wks to get rid of nits, which will keep hatching live lice during the process. I think the mother should have rescheduled the party. Getting rid of lice is not a two day process.
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:55 PM   #38
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You did the right thing! I was on the opposite side of the fence a few years back when my child was turning 8. She got them (as well as my other daughter and myself) about 3 days before her Birthday party. They were nasty and soooooo time consuming.

We rescheduled the party to two weeks later. Most people were fine with it. I did have one family that refused to have contact with any of us for a month! (it was summer)

It took as at least two days of treatments with major time for nit picking, and then we spent about an hour each night after that rechecking and re-combing.

I know it's tough when something medical happens when you have an event you want to attend or have. To be honest, I get a little tired of people justifying their position to make it work for them and not thinking about others.

Have a fun weekend with your daughter!
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:01 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinker'n'Fun

I hope I didn't come across rude, as that was not my intention. I just was upset that this mother thought it was okay for you not to tell your daughter the truth. It rubbed me the wrong way. I just pointed it out in case of the comb/hat situation.

I taught my daughter not to share also, but at that age they sometimes "forget", like hair ties, cute hats, and such.

I am sorry if my post was upsetting.
No worries! Really, I just wanted to clarify what I told my DD. I'm also annoyed by the moms request to not tell my DD. I mean, I understand why she didn't want me to tell her, but at the same time, I feel like it put me in a awkward position.

When I told her Dd wasn't going, she seemed offended and I tried to explain my position on not wanting to take the risk, and also the position I was in having to tell Dd she wasn't going but not being able to tell her why. She was told me to just go ahead and tell DD then, but I could tell she was just annoyed/mad/whatever with me and I wanted I respect the birthday girls feelings.

I'm still a little flustered by the response I got by the mom... She said you could Get lice anywhere an that it's a good thing dd wasn't going so in cAse she does get lice somewhere I won't be able to say it came from them. Okay...

I do feel like the responsible thing to do would
Be to reschedule for another time, that's what I would have done, but whatever.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:05 PM   #40
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I feel so sorry for the birthday girl! And YOU who is now the "bad guy" because you promised not to tell your DD that the friend has lice. Your explanation was perfect! That being said, I would probably let my DD go as long as they don't touch heads or share brushes, etc.

Quote:
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I've learned (the hard way) not to do lice treatments - the amount of combing necessary to remove the nits will get all of those live ones anyway - they're the easy part. It's the nits (and they're not killed by the treatment). It's almost impossible to tell a live nit from a hatch one, so everything needs to be completely combed out.
It all depends on your school district. If it's "nit free" then yes, they all need to be combed out. If it's like my DD's school district it's just live lice that gets a kid sent home. I too learned the hard way that the lice treatments don't work. Two months and 3 RID treatments later we (yes, my DD shared ) had lice. Then, I and found a method called "The Lice Program" http://www.microscopy-uk.org.uk/thel...ram/index.html which works on combing out live lice on a scheduled basis. You are NOT combing and nit picking every single day which is a relief for both parents and children. You are getting rid of each successive wave of lice until you get them all. And honestly, I could not comb the nits out of my own hair anyway.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:08 PM   #41
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Quote:
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No worries! Really, I just wanted to clarify what I told my DD. I'm also annoyed by the moms request to not tell my DD. I mean, I understand why she didn't want me to tell her, but at the same time, I feel like it put me in a awkward position.

When I told her Dd wasn't going, she seemed offended and I tried to explain my position on not wanting to take the risk, and also the position I was in having to tell Dd she wasn't going but not being able to tell her why. She was told me to just go ahead and tell DD then, but I could tell she was just annoyed/mad/whatever with me and I wanted I respect the birthday girls feelings.

I'm still a little flustered by the response I got by the mom... She said you could Get lice anywhere an that it's a good thing dd wasn't going so in cAse she does get lice somewhere I won't be able to say it came from them. Okay...

I do feel like the responsible thing to do would
Be to reschedule for another time, that's what I would have done, but whatever.
well that is a bunch of baloney, given the incubation period, if she hung out with your DD at all, she could have already infected her...way for this mom to be defensive and rude to you.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:09 PM   #42
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I probably wouldn't....

BUT...I did keep a friend's child for a weekend, days after her first lice treatment. The parents had planned a weekend away and we had agreed to keep their 3 kids. A couple of days before they left, they discovered lice in the DDs hair. I kept her anyway. Partly because I had the control over the situation. She was the only girl child, so would not be sleeping in the same room as any of my kids. We lived in a house that was all ceramic tile, and had a housekeeper, so it was easier to keep things clean. I washed the bedding every night and used the nit comb in her hair. No one else ever got the lice...but the poor girl had them for months and months!
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:13 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom-to-2-Princesses
To be honest, I get a little tired of people justifying their position to make it work for them and not thinking about others.

Have a fun weekend with your daughter!
You hit the nail on the head....just kept on trying to justify why it was okay without thinking of others. Yes, she told me, gave the option of not going, but then made me feel like crap for backing out.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:56 PM   #44
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It all depends on your school district. If it's "nit free" then yes, they all need to be combed out. If it's like my DD's school district it's just live lice that gets a kid sent home. I too learned the hard way that the lice treatments don't work. Two months and 3 RID treatments later we (yes, my DD shared ) had lice. Then, I and found a method called "The Lice Program" http://www.microscopy-uk.org.uk/thel...ram/index.html which works on combing out live lice on a scheduled basis. You are NOT combing and nit picking every single day which is a relief for both parents and children. You are getting rid of each successive wave of lice until you get them all. And honestly, I could not comb the nits out of my own hair anyway.
There is always so much lice going around in the younger grades (just received this week's notification), that we do have a no nit policy. In order to be allowed back in school, the nurse will check the child over for about 20 minutes with a pointy stick and a large special magnifying light.

Therefore, lice is a real problem if your child gets it - no school until the nits are gone.

ETA - if someone has lice, the whole class gets checked by the nurse (and usually more turn up).
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:18 PM   #45
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I'm a bit confused why she can't go if they are going to a neutral place and you dd takes her own bedding since I see she is with her in school? How is that any different? if she was away from this child it may make sense but if she is seeing her in school in her class she is being just as exposed as she would over the weekend.

Why one place and not the other?
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