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Old 09-28-2012, 08:58 AM   #31
Earning My Ears
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My oldest son asked me when he was ten if Santa was real. I said yes but not in a big man in a red suit kind of way. I said it was the magic of Christmas where you see the kindness of strangers and the gratitude and love you show your friends and family that made it real. We also made him Santa (he helps put our the younger kids gifts and gets to eat the cookies) and the Easter Bunny as an incentive not to tell his brothers (mine told me when I was 7). Hopefully I can get one more year with my middle son believing - his class seems to have a lot of vocal kids saying it isn't true.

Zhoen - I am still Santa, but somedays feel like I look like him too! Very funny. Also a side note - I told my youngest son's swimming instructor that DS was like a gremlin (all cute and sweet till somebody feeds him after midnight) and the instructor didn't know what a gremlin was! Yikes I felt old!
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Old 09-28-2012, 09:16 AM   #32
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We ask "what do you think?" If they still believe, then we let them. If not, we explain why we "play" Santa for them.

The older ones got to "play" Santa for the younger, then. It became a game for them---knowing what the little ones got before they did...

When DS was just about 2 (and still not quite grasping the concept of Santa), DD2 knew, and we did our Christmas the night before. Was kind of fun---got to sleep in the next morning. Though I did feel that our traditions weren't in play that year.
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:56 AM   #33
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I am so glad this thread was started. I have been struggling with this all year. My DS is 10 and home schooled, so he is not around as many kids as if in school.
I have been worried how and when will he find out.
Recently my niece who is 8, asked my son if he believes and he said yes, DN is on the mends because of the kids in school. When my son said he believes, she said so does she.
Secretly I was hoping my DN would be the one to tell my son,( I know bad mom), but I am just worried he is getting older and what if other kids his age find out he believes, how would they react to him.
I have found a lot of good answers here and it is a relief to know what to say to him.
My DD found out when she was 8 yrs old, on Christmas Eve She was tracking Santa on the computer before we went to our family Christmas party. So she calls her cousin who was 10 at the time and told her where Santa was, her cousin replies there is no Santa.
My DD runs upstairs and says, you have to tell me the truth, is there a Santa.
Now you have to know my DD, she was way to mature for her age and demanded the truth of everything, she was a little old lady growing up.
I told her, I believed, and as long as you believe Santa is real. She's screaming tell me the truth. So I told her no, Santa isn't real. Well an hour before our party, she is upstairs crying her eyes out.
So I don't want to go through that again, my son is a young 10 and I don't mind that because he is being a kid. My DD grew up to fast and missed out on a childhood I tell her, she is 18 now. I want my son to enjoy being a kid, playing with his toys and believing in fairy tales, but I know it is coming to the time, where the fairy tails have to end and I'm not looking forward to it.
This post helped a lot, I will tell him when he asks, about St Nick and how we believe and help his memory, how giving to others make us Santa and how it brings smiles to others. He is a loving caring child so I hope it helps with the blow, because he is also emotional, I do believe he will be upset to hear the truth.
I can hope he comes to me and says I know Santa isn't real. Make it easier for me.
He told me Mickey wasn't real years ago What! I said yes he is, now he is about 6 at the time and was like Mom, a big mouse walking around come on
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:57 AM   #34
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I don't remember exactly when I figured out there was no Santa (my parents never told me), but I know when I began questioning. It was when I found that Teeny's (the cat) stocking was stuffed prior to Christmas Eve. Yes, we're those folks who get Christmas gifts for our pets. Anyways, I asked my mom about it and she said Santa didn't come for cats and so she had to make sure that Teeny had presents on Christmas. Thereafter, it became my job to make sure Teeny had a good holiday. I stuffed her stocking and even wrapped a tin of cat food for her. It got me to understand that the real joy (and magic) of Christmas is in giving, and not in receiving from some guy in a red suit. The rest just followed naturally.

I plan to do something similar with my kids.
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:21 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by antree View Post
I can hope he comes to me and says I know Santa isn't real. Make it easier for me.
I may be the odd man out here, but I think it's better for the parent to take the initiative of telling once it's time. You can set up the conversation the way you want, and do it at a time that's quiet and calm and right for your child. It also gives you a chance to position it as you are letting them in on the secret because they are old enough now vs. them demanding the truth about what they see as a "lie" and feeling betrayed.
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:34 AM   #36
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While I do not have children of my own I have two much younger siblings; 12 and 6 and I, nor my parents, would ever tell them there is no Santa. I think that Santa is such a magical part of the Christmas season! As someone mentioned once they hit a certain age their logic starts to click in and they will recognize this - this occurred to my sister last year. I truly felt bad for her because you could see that she really wanted to believe but with all her friends saying otherwise and more mature thinking - she still is really into the magic though (even on our trip to Disney, all was still very special for her - the characters were "real" - she obviously knew they werent but still believed in that magic, if that makes sense). My brother is 6, turning 7, and has never asked about whether Santa is real or not and wholeheartedly believes. We even have an elf on the shelf who turns up around November to keep an eye on everyone and report back to the man in red.
I remember being about 11 and crying when I realized there was no Santa... still makes me sad.
As long as they want to believe they can and I will not put an end to that magic. If they have questions they can ponder them but those words will never leave my mouth imo.
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:35 AM   #37
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I dont think it needs to be discussed unless asked! there is a point when kids figure it out! and I dont think anyone will make fun!!! my 8 year old has an elf and her friends always are asking me about him and what he did etc. They love it! As well as her baby sitters etc. People play along. and even if she figures out that it is me I am still going to do it! its fun and I enjoy it and the job in her eyes is all worth it! plus kids are just growing up way to fast now days!!! Let them be kids!!!!
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:58 AM   #38
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I won't admit to DD12 & DS10 though they have questioned me. I don't know, I know they know but it's fun that there is still that tiny bit of not knowing if I don't come out and admit it.

I did the Elf on the Shelf last year for the first time and I think the kids believed that at first. DS was really into it but I'm sure a classmate shot down his belief. DD did a few of her things w/the elves for her brother so I know she caught on. I will probably still do it this year just because it's funny and fun for us.

I have admitted a few things to DD18, mainly because we usually shop together & she sees the Santa gifts. But I don't worry about her still telling her friends about Santa. I still hate admitting anything to her either though.

Maybe I'm really the only one who still wants everyone to believe.
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Old 09-28-2012, 12:32 PM   #39
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1st grade my kids were told, or at least that was the plan....

The youngest in kindergarten, the teacher was going on about leprechauns during St. Patrick's Day. They were designing and setting traps and the teacher had them so wrapped up in it, we think my daughter felt so strongly about catching one, my wife ensured her there was no such thing.

Sitting at the kitchen table, my wife is telling her leprechauns aren't real. A pencil drops to the floor and as my daughter is bent below the table to reach for it on the floor, Wifey also starts to say how Fairies aren't real. Only it comes out "And the Tooth Fairy isn't real either...." WHAT!!!!!!!! and my daughter bolts upright with this look on her face

She ended up getting the whole spiel on all of them in kindergarten. Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, all of them.
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Old 09-28-2012, 12:58 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by MomToOne View Post
I had "the talk" with DD when she was 10, after she was clearly questioning things.

I explained to her that St. Nicholas was actually a man that once lived who started a tradition of giving anonymous gifts. And since his death, adults have carried on that tradition with their children at Christmas-time, to honor him and to spread the magic of Christmas.

I also told her that since she now knew the secret, part of her responsibility was to help carry on the tradition and to help bring the magic of Christmas to life for younger children. She's taken that very much to heart, making sure she doesn't say anything in a store around children that might give it away, etc.

It all went well, she liked the idea of being part of the big secret and being given a role to play in it And instead of talking about Santa at Christmas, we've just replaced it with saying "Santa Mom" LOL
This is almost exactly how I handled it as well. My daughter didn't love the idea right away, she was pretty upset about the whole thing, but she got over it quickly. My son could have cared less.

Originally Posted by auprincess View Post
My parents never told me ~ and I can't imagine telling my girls. Luckily, I still have time. I do think my oldest (7),will ask me eventually. Hopefully it will be a few years. I did find this on pinterest a year or so ago, and I really like it:

I really like that letter. That's a nice way to handle it also.

I have a question, some of the posts here make it sound like "as soon as" the kids know, Santa disapears from the household??? I could certainly see how that would be a huge adjustment for some kids.

We told our kids the truth at a fairly young age, but we tried to involve them in the fun of playing Santa AND they still got a Santa gift under the tree every year. It's usually a gift they haven't asked for, but I know they will like, so it's a genuine surprise. And it doesn't go under the tree until Christmas Eve so they won't see the box either. (Everything else goes under the tree early because it looks more festive that way.)
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:19 PM   #41
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My boys are 15 an 11 and we still give gifts from Santa. My oldest ds found out about Santa when he was 8 or 9 thanks to my MIL. We had returned from a trip to WDW where our son had seen a gap in a Mickey head and realized it was a costume. He was telling my MIL when we returned and she was shocked that he had believed that long and snarkingly said "don't tell me you still believe in Santa and the Easter bunny too?" She almost seemed pleased with herself for telling him and DH and I were ticked. My DH was raised Jewish and said that he always believed in Santa but his mom told him that Jewish kids didn't get presents from Santa. When we first started dating, my dh said once when he was little his boy scout troop saw Santa at the mall and he told him all he wanted was a Christmas tree and Santa was shocked and really didnt' know how to respond. Our younger son is a very critcal thinker and quizzed me from a young age about how one Santa could get gifts to every child, etc. I told him he had helpers, but he was still skeptical. They are both good sports about 'believing' for younger cousins.
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:41 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by irishsharon View Post
Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him
I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering about this! My DD is 10 and in 5th grade, and the main reason I want to tell her the truth is that any time I say we can't afford something right now, she says, "Then we'll just ask Santa for it!" And every time I just want to reply that I AM Santa. But, I can't bring myself to actually be the one to tell her. I do like keeping the magic of Christmas alive, and she has a younger brother who still believes. I just hope this year there are enough kids talking about Santa not being real that she finds out on her own.
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:45 PM   #43
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My 6 year old told me yesterday when he got of the school bus that he wants a iphone for christmas! I told him that was not happening and he said that was ok he would just ask santa By the way he sent a letter to santa in Aug.(beat the holiday rush) I have no idea what it said because he had sealed the envolope and had me address it and put a stamp on and he put it in the mailbox.I wonder what the mailman did with that letter So when santa does not bring him the iphone I'm just going to tell him that santa said its for kids 10 and over
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:58 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by indimom View Post

I have a question, some of the posts here make it sound like "as soon as" the kids know, Santa disapears from the household??? I could certainly see how that would be a huge adjustment for some kids.
I lived with my Aunt and grand parents growing up. Every year my gifts from santa where signed " Love, Santa Clause". After I found out the truth, my Aunt continued to give me gifts ( and still does every year) and they are now signed " Love, Santa Carol" wich is her name.
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Old 09-28-2012, 03:16 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by indimom View Post
I have a question, some of the posts here make it sound like "as soon as" the kids know, Santa disapears from the household???
Not in our house. Santa Mom just brings the presents now. And it's still just as magical
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