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Old 09-26-2012, 05:25 PM   #31
Andtototoo
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Op here: I just wanted to give an update and once again thank everyone. The doctor ended up talking with mom as when she ade that statement a Pallative care person was in the room with us. He explained to her that yes she will take some time to recover from all that has happened but its up to her and her higher power if she is ready to go or not. The physical and occupational therapists have been working with her as much as they have been able to and she will be going to a rehab in the next couple days amd today the ivs including the one in her leg removed as well as the catheter. I told her if she wants to live then I will do anything to help her as long as she is willing to hel9 herself. If she wants to give up then I will not try to talk her out of it . People do need to plan in advance of what measures they want and they have to chose someone they can trust will follow their wishes. And I was df's durable poa,etc and even then I had relatives trying to talk me into changing his mind about things which I didn't, he trusted me not to waiver and I didn't and wouldn't now with mom. Thanks again.
It sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job with your mother.
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Old 09-26-2012, 10:44 PM   #32
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I remember when I was in the hospital after a back surgery and I was in so much pain, I said I wish I could die. Sometimes we say things in the moment that we don't really mean. I am glad I wasn't taken seriously, it was just a very difficult time for me.
But there is a huge difference between someone in recovery, and someone who most likely not going to recover at all.

It's a real shame that the issue of dying with dignity, or even making plans for the management of your own healthcare as end of life approaches, has been turned into a political football by labeling this very important discussion crassly as a "death panel" instead of facing the issue head-on like a responsible society should do.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:14 PM   #33
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First, let me say OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You seem to be handling it just right, even though it must be so very difficult. It's good the doctor got involved as well. Hugs and prayers to you!
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:42 PM   #34
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fub & dez, you are right.
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:32 AM   #35
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End of life is one of the toughest things, especially if everyone is not on the same page.

Being old is hard. Nothing works right, you can't hear as well, see as well, think as fast. You have to dependon people for more stuff that you eitherhave a really hard time doing or can no longer do at all, when you used to be the one people depended on.

Being old & sick is harder.

I fully understand that many people, as they age, come to an acceptance that their time on this earth is drawing to a close. Those who love them are usually the people who have the harder time with the acceptance of this eventuality.

It's not bad for an older person to be OK with dying. My mother is 86 & in reasonably good health. But she has made it clear that she can be ready to go at any time....as she says "I've lived a good life, had a good husband, helped some people along the way and watched my kids grow into adulthood."

That just about sums it up.

Now, in the case of your Mom OP, she may be experiencing a reactive type of depression....getting buffeted by numerous health issues in a short period of time can do that. So before she gives up the ghost, have her evaluated by a psychiatrist and perhaps start a mild mood elevator for this time. As she gets better, she may be able to wean off it in time.
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