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Old 09-27-2012, 04:00 PM   #16
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Our Santa Story

When DS was in 4th or 5th grade, he asked me one morning "Do you bring the Christmas presents?" I knew that he knew the truth, so I asked him what he thought and confirmed the truth. He then proceeded to cry. When he calmed down a bit, he said, "what about the Easter Bunny". Not wanting him to be anymore upset I said "of course". Off he went to school. When he returned he said. "Mom, I have been thinking about it and how could the Easter Bunny be real". I told him the truth and he took it well. A few hours later, my dh gets home and DS tells him. "Guess what Dad, I know the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny". My dh says "the one i really can't believe you didn't figure out what the tooth fairy". My son puts his head in his hands and says "not the tooth fairy too"! All the childhood fantasies gone in one day!
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:14 PM   #17
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I figured it out around age 7 or 8 when I found the special Santa wrapping paper in my mom's closet. My kids still believe but I have made up many a story to cover my tracks. They've seen me buy the Santa paper and I just tell them Santa drops off the presents and sometimes he needs mom's and dad's to help out with the wrapping.
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:16 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by hmdavid View Post
I am in the same boat. I have twins who are 10 and an 8 year old who all still believe. I don't want my fifth graders to be made fun of but I also don't want to tell them when they still believe. What to do?!!

I could have written your post exactly. My kids are the same ages and I am struggling with what to do with the older two this year
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:47 PM   #19
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it's not all bad sometimes when they find out. my kiddo found all the teeth the tooth fairy took in a box. she figured it all out. while she was bummed about santa not being real, after asking questions, she realized how much work goes into making christmas special. she ended up being really touched and appreciative for the extreme lengths i went to at times to keep it magical. now at 12 she still leaves carrots out "for the reindeer" and cookies for "santa", even tho she's an only child and doesn't really need to fake it for others. she just likes to believe that "santa" is more of an idea and a feeling than a fat man in a suit. sometimes she'll make me something and wrap it with a from santa tag. plus, when it's time to put presents under the tree now and i tell her to go to bed, she actually does and STAYS there. lol and no more waking up at the crack of dawn for presents! she's content to just wait till i wake up because she knows i was probably up late doing all the christmas things.
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:51 PM   #20
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What do you mean there's no Santa?!?!

Seriously, I am 35 years old, have my own kid, my mother comes to MY house that I OWN on Xmas and I still get presents from Santa and my mother STILL insists that she saw Santa when she was a kid.

You never have to tell your kids and they will grow up just fine, lol. I think at some point the self preservation instinct kicks in and even if they do still believe they know enough not to say so in front of their friends.
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Old 09-27-2012, 07:52 PM   #21
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My 7 year old asked me last month while we were waiting in line to see Tinkerbell. She said "Come on mom, tell me the truth ...how are faeries and Santa real?' Luckily, she whispered it, but it was still pretty awkward.

I told her that it's all magic and she told me she knew the person who was playing Tinkerbell was really just an actress. So I said "See all these girls here, they all believe she's Tink, and as long as they believe it, it's real. It's the same with Santa, as long as someone out there believes that he is real, he'll be real."

That's really how I see it. My mom's face still lights up when she gets us presents ... so she's still Santa. Maybe she doesn't have to hide the presents and sneak out at night to put them around the tree, but she's still Santa to me.

My dad, however, is a total realist - in that he didn't want us to believe in fairy tales- (which probably explains why my seven year old already doesn't believe, ) and told us that Santa and the reindeer crashed on the way back to the North Pole and everyone died. I kind you not. My brother was in kindergarten, maybe 1st grade, so I was two years older. I already didn't believe, I'd heard about Santa at school and had found presents the year before, but I was never going to admit it. My brother, on the other hand, lost it completely. He cried and cried. It was the worst way to tell a kid, ever. We still laugh about it in the family, but I'm pretty sure my brother is going to need therapy for that. My kid sister is a LOT younger than I am, she just turned 14 ... and my mom didn't have the Santa talk with her until two years ago. I think she was terrified of scaring her ...Her response, at 12 was "Umm, duh! I got double the presents, I wasn't going to say anything!"

I'm playing the "wait and see" to see if dd wants to see Santa or write him a letter this year ...
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:41 PM   #22
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I have always told my girls (now 5 and 8) that there is "real", there is "pretend," and somewhere in the middle is "make believe"-- which means "if you believe it, you make it, and if someone else chooses not to believe it, it won't work for them."

Santa falls in the "make believe" category. DD8 has been questioning for years, but I tell her "as long as you believe, he'll be real for you, and someday if you stop believing, he won't." She always gets a stricken look and shouts "I believe!" (Because she doesn't want to miss out on the presents.)

As far as the kids that already don't believe and/or Santa doesn't visit, also the children who are terribly bad and still get Santa gifts-- we have discussed "Santa physics."

1- Santa's elves still make quality toys, but due to increased global demands, they also outsource and purchase toystore products.
2- Only children who believe get visited by Santa, the rest get covered by their parents.
3- Same for kids on the naughty list-- Santa doesn't come, but their parents may choose to cover it for them to spare their feelings
4- Delivery schedules-- Santa doesnt' visit all the good, believing children in a single night, because due to differing beliefs some kids get visits on other nights.
5-Gift quality- varies by tradition-- in some places, kids just get candy in their shoes, in other places, Santa sets up every toy, batteries and all, in very poor areas, Santa might not leave much. Well, the middle one is OBVIOUSLY parents overcompensating, and in the case of the poor children, he doesn't want to give too much to the goodlist children if the parents can't afford to subsidize the kids on the naughty list, so he might tone it down in that situation--he's thoughtful like that.
6-Multiple deliveries aka "grandma put out a stocking at her house"-- Simple, elves are magic and Santa is very old, with everything going to computers these days, the poor old geezer and his magical staff can't keep up with technology, so they make mistakes.

For now, my girls like to tell me they believe, but I know they doubt. Our storyline allows for them to stop believing some day and know that they will still get gifts from Mom and Dad, so I'm hoping for a gentle transition.

I found out watching the movie "gremlins"... She said there was no Santa Claus and I figured if it was in a movie (about imaginary cute furballs who turn evil--Furby much?!?) it must be true...

But then, in a way I still believe in Santa Claus. I mean, once (or more) per year, a certain spirit possesses the hearts and minds of the willing and inspires them to do kindnesses to others in a spirit of generosity and love. That is Santa Claus to me...

... and then there's the old joke: The phases of Santa Clause
1- you believe in Santa Claus
2- you DON'T believe in Santa Claus
3- you ARE Santa Claus
4- you LOOK like Santa Clause.

I'm at three pushing four right now... sigh...
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:00 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by mommy2twingles View Post
I could have written your post exactly. My kids are the same ages and I am struggling with what to do with the older two this year
Good luck to you! Funny thing in our house is that I think my younger daughter might figure things out before my older two!
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:04 PM   #24
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Honestly, I let them tell me. With DS, who was 10 at the time, things just didn't add up because some of the kids in the neighborhood didn't get Easter presents. He said he wanted me to tell him the truth so I said there was no Easter bunny, he started to walk away and then turned around and said what about Santa? Broke my heart to tell him, we both cried.

It was pretty much the same with dd, who was 9 at the time. It was right after Christmas and kids at school ruined it for her. She came home adamant that I tell her the truth, I did, and again more crying

They are now 15 and 10, but this whole family believes in the magic of Christmas and there will always be Santa presents under the tree in this house.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:17 PM   #25
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My oldest came to me one day when he was about 6 ( he is 13 now) and asked me why Santa hated poor kids. I asked him why he thought that and he told me that you see rich kids get a lot of stuff and poor kids are always needing food and clothing. At that point I told him the real story of santa. I could not have him thinking that Santa only cares for rich kids. My daughter never cared and my youngest (8) LOVES santa. We even spent our vacation this summer at The Christmas Inn in pigeon forge TN.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:44 PM   #26
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I still haven't told DS 18 there's no Santa. Santa will bring him and the other 3 gifts this year. Last year Santa brought them an XBox 360 and mom and dad only gave them a Wii. They knew Santa had to bring the XBox because mom and dad would never give 2 video games for Christmas and certainly not the expensive one!

I don't see the need to intentionally spoil the magic--ever.
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:17 PM   #27
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My parents never told me ~ and I can't imagine telling my girls. Luckily, I still have time. I do think my oldest (7),will ask me eventually. Hopefully it will be a few years. I did find this on pinterest a year or so ago, and I really like it:

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Old 09-27-2012, 10:33 PM   #28
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My daughter was about 10 when she figured out the Tooth Fairy. I asked her if she had any doubts about anything else and she mentioned the Easter Bunny and Santa. I came clean with her. Her mom was kinda upset she didn't believe but my daughter said "Mom, I'm ten years old! I'm not a little baby!" So we told her not to ruin it for anyone else especially her brother. Then when he was about 11 he mentioned a talk in school about Santa. I asked him what HE thought and I wanted him to be honest. He came clean and said he had his doubts for a long time but couldn't figure out how WE could have afforded all those gifts. He said he didn't want to say anything because he was afraid he wouldn't get as many presents. Then I made sure he knew not to ruin it for anyone else. He said "I understand why parents want kids to believe. It makes it seem more magical." He also said he wanted to still get presents "From Santa" so of course we do. I just hope to have another kid soon so we can experience the "magic" all over.
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Old 09-27-2012, 11:06 PM   #29
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I don't remember when I found out about santa- he was always a minor player in Christmas at our home- brought one small gift- but he is a tenacious minor player who still visits every year.

My kids began wondering- with their rolled eyes and winks, then a few questions about how santa knows who is naughty and nice- well, of course, Jesus told him...
Anyhow, we all continue the act even today.
My mom has always put up the stockings, Santa always comes with one gift for each person.
We all say "Thank you Santa! (wink, wink! )
If we are together at Easter, a basket for each person always appears on the breakfast table...
Seriously, I am 42 with 2 grown kids of my own...
But in the scope of all the rest of our Christmas celebration, the santa ruse is just a teeny tiny part... a teeny tiny part we enjoy for 10 minutes every year.
Getting there is half the fun~

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Old 09-28-2012, 08:49 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Zhoen View Post
I have always told my girls (now 5 and 8) that there is "real", there is "pretend," and somewhere in the middle is "make believe"-- which means "if you believe it, you make it, and if someone else chooses not to believe it, it won't work for them."

Santa falls in the "make believe" category. DD8 has been questioning for years, but I tell her "as long as you believe, he'll be real for you, and someday if you stop believing, he won't." She always gets a stricken look and shouts "I believe!" (Because she doesn't want to miss out on the presents.)
This is the BEST explanation I have ever heard.

One of DD9's friends told her the "truth" two years ago. DD asked me about it, then before I could answer, she said "Michelle says she has proof he's not real, but I have proof he IS real. Santa always brings me exactly what I want, even if you and Dad say no." Can't argue with that logic! However, I think she may just be playing along now, because she hasn't asked any questions in quite a while. I'm just hoping for another year or two of magic for my younger DD.
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