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Old 09-25-2012, 06:42 PM   #46
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I first started dating at the age of 13 (Keep in mind, that was 8 years ago) and I can safely say at that age, dating is a bit difficult. It's awkward and completely unsettling. Though I have known people who dated since 8th grade and have been together ever since then. So I can understand skepticism. But what I can say is that I think you should let your kids experiment with dating. It may go smoothly, or it will be rough, either way, they'll learn something at the end of the day.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:15 PM   #47
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DD12 tickled me recently when she related that "Joe" had come over and sat with her at a table full of girls. Long story short, that boy has been sweet on her since 2nd grade and DH and I laugh about him being first in line when it comes time to ask DD to the prom. He is besotted. But DD was mortified that he sat by her at lunch. "OMG, it was so embarrassing!" she wailed.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:16 PM   #48
Sgt Mickey
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Yep. Dd16 started with a real boyfriend at the end of freshman year. Ds14 had 2 girlfriends in middle school, and trust me, he had little to do with the whole situation. I actually felt sorry for the last one (he'd much rather be with just the guys), and he broke it off at the end of this summer (doesn't want the committment ).
That is too funny.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:18 PM   #49
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I had my first boyfriend at age 11. Our "relationship" consisted soley of me sneaking into his yard and throwing pebbles at his upstairs window until he opened the window to talk. He was afraid of my big Saint Bernard, so NO WAY was he going to cross my fence. He went to a different school, so we only saw each other after dark when my parents were occupied with my 4 younger sibs. Mostly we threw notes back and forth to through the window "Do you like me? Yes No" "You are cute" and "Be my girlfriend Yes No" I'm pretty sure my parents never found out, because my Dad would have had a fit if he had caught me.
puppy love
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:21 PM   #50
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I'm with you. As far as I can see from the tons of kids I see and hear about every day (through job as social worker), early and frequent access is what is pushing these kids to grow up and want to experience adult activities way too early. I never bought that old line about kids will just sneak around and lie about what they're doing so I might as well just let them do x, y, or z. 12 year olds are kids and they need to act like kids. Kids do well with parents that are involved and they know if a parent is just giving lip service so bottom line is while we all may make different choices for our kids, our kids will turn out fine if we stay tuned in.
I half agree with you. YOUR kids YOUR choice I am not disagreeing with the choices you make. BUT I DO NOT let her do x, y and z just because they may lie about doing it. AND if I found her lying about anything she will be doing nothing.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:23 PM   #51
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Funny thing I got on the computer and turned on the Cosby show and it is the one where Vanessa has a halloween party and likes Robert
She is 12 and yes it is a tv show but it just shows even back in the 80's girls thought about boys at 12
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Old 09-26-2012, 06:46 AM   #52
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I half agree with you. YOUR kids YOUR choice I am not disagreeing with the choices you make. BUT I DO NOT let her do x, y and z just because they may lie about doing it. AND if I found her lying about anything she will be doing nothing.
I think sometimes people mistake wanting to keep the lines of communication open with your child and picking your battles as making choices because they may lie and do it anyway.

I know that isn't what I mean when I say it and I am sure you don't either. Dd has rules to follow but I pick my battles. Not allowing her to talk to a boy on the phone or go with a group to the movies that a certain boy is a part of, just isn't the battle I choose.

I do see the temptations and the mistakes kids have and make. In Biology dd is in a group of 4, two out of those 4 will be parents by the end of the year. And they are far from the only 9th graders who will be. But, its something we talk about. I know that I can trust her choices.
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Old 09-26-2012, 07:01 AM   #53
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I think sometimes people mistake wanting to keep the lines of communication open with your child and picking your battles as making choices because they may lie and do it anyway.

I know that isn't what I mean when I say it and I am sure you don't either. Dd has rules to follow but I pick my battles. Not allowing her to talk to a boy on the phone or go with a group to the movies that a certain boy is a part of, just isn't the battle I choose.

I do see the temptations and the mistakes kids have and make. In Biology dd is in a group of 4, two out of those 4 will be parents by the end of the year. And they are far from the only 9th graders who will be. But, its something we talk about. I know that I can trust her choices.
This is exactly it. That is absolutely crazy.
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Old 09-26-2012, 08:31 AM   #54
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This is exactly it. That is absolutely crazy.
I know! It is so scary to know that this 15 year old boy, who cannot drive yet or get a job is going to be a father! I know the kid must be scared to death (I am sure the girl is too, but the boy is dd's friend and she talks to him about it so I hear more). He says he is going to try and be a good dad, but how good of a dad can a 15 year old really be?

DD says he is staying by the girl's side for the pregnancy but he isn't even sure he still LIKES the girl anymore. Its just so sad to me. For all involved.

There is one teacher at the school that keeps telling the kids "y'all have GOT to find a new hobby!" She is kidding with them but she is also right. Its just too widespread!
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Old 09-26-2012, 08:50 AM   #55
Sgt Mickey
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I thought I had never up there but I think I erased it and my brain went somewhere else
 
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I know! It is so scary to know that this 15 year old boy, who cannot drive yet or get a job is going to be a father! I know the kid must be scared to death (I am sure the girl is too, but the boy is dd's friend and she talks to him about it so I hear more). He says he is going to try and be a good dad, but how good of a dad can a 15 year old really be?

DD says he is staying by the girl's side for the pregnancy but he isn't even sure he still LIKES the girl anymore. Its just so sad to me. For all involved.

There is one teacher at the school that keeps telling the kids "y'all have GOT to find a new hobby!" She is kidding with them but she is also right. Its just too widespread!
Not only find a new activity but maybe look into birth control. I am NOT for teen sex but you can't be naive about it either. My aunt thought if she didn't put my cousin on the pill she would not have sex or use condoms welllll guess who became a teen age mom.
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Old 09-26-2012, 09:33 AM   #56
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Not only find a new activity but maybe look into birth control. I am NOT for teen sex but you can't be naive about it either. My aunt thought if she didn't put my cousin on the pill she would not have sex or use condoms welllll guess who became a teen age mom.
So true. I have been debating about having condoms conviently located in a hall closet and letting dd know where they are. I have told her that if she ever feels that its needed, we will go to the dr. for the pill, but I reminded her that there would still be a need for other protection.
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