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Old 09-20-2012, 09:33 PM   #21
They can take away my freedom but they can't take away my FOTL!
Mic's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NC
Posts: 1,378

We currently have 3 kids in college (a freshman daughter, sophomore son, and a senior daughter), so money is very tight. My freshman daughter has NEVER worked, partly because she was involved in a lot of high school activities, and partly because she is lazy like her Dad. We give her about $75-100 a month, and she has 2 store credit cards we pay for, as long as she lets us know beforehand what she is shopping for so I can set a limit on how much she spends. She surprised me when she applied for a job on campus, and now works SIX whole hours a week; I am ecstatic! Her brother (15 months older than her), never worked either, until his second year of college, when he was 19. His second semester of freshman year was awful...his grades dropped sharply from his first semester. We accepted that some of the problem was his age(he had just turned 18), and some of the problem was not having high school teachers and parents there to prod him to finish things. Mostly, though, he had no time-management skills. We had three kids in college his freshman year as well--our oldest graduated from UNC that year--and it made me sick to think of the money we were wasting on his private dorm, high-end laptop, and pepsi and pizza habit. Our rule for all the kids is that they will maintain a GPA of 2.5 or better, or we stop paying for anything. My husband was hesitant to enforce the rule, but I felt we should for our son. We compromised: he came home for a semester, GOT A JOB (gasp), and went to the local Community College. If the grades improved A LOT, we would send him back to NC State. Well guess what...the grades came WAY up, he made some money, and learned how to better manage his time. He went back to NC State the next semester, and is now almost a junior. He worked last summer and contributed $1400 toward college (basically his meal plan), and comes home every other weekend to work. So far this school year, we have given him a little money and bought his books. Our oldest daughters both worked all through high school and college, was just as active in high school as our youngest, and still managed to bring home good grades. Both graduated in the top 10% of their high school class, got scholarships and class awards, and second daughter actually made the Dean's list the first 3 years of college (until she was elected to the exec board of her sosority...BIG money and time consumer). Oldest daughter managed being a sorority officer, working, and making good grades as well...that juggling has helped in the "real world". Second daughter (the senior) works and lives off-campus, and sometimes needs us to help with rent, food, etc., averaged out to be about $300 a month. Her tuition is mostly paid with financial aid and loans, so we buy books and pay whatever gap exists between the loans/aid and what she owes (usually @$1000). We also provide her car, insurance, and pay her cell phone bill, which we pay for all 3 kids. My son and freshman daughter do not have a car on campus, though, because of the high cost of parking. I'm sure they will have a car if/when they move off-campus. I guess what I am trying to say (not very well), is that we give varying amounts of money to each child, based on their situation. But we (or I) hold all of them to a similar standard for grades. Finding the right balance between work and school is different for each child, and even changes each semester. And I don't have to think about how much more I do for the younger two children...my older two daughters remind me all the time!
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