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Old 09-15-2012, 11:37 AM   #15
bankgirl05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjkacmom View Post
Wouldn't she be off of most of that week for teachers convention? I don't know - I would guess she probably feels a little separate from the rest of the family (siblings have a different father, and are much younger, she moved in with dad). This might be the last time she even vacations with your family (is she planning on going to college, where the breaks are different times?).

We have always tried to provide her a secure place in our family. She moved in with Dad because he let her get away with more than I would etc. She doesn't talk about college any more, mostly due to the fact that her boyfriend got sent away to live with his dad, to PR and now she just wants to go there after she graduates.
Knock on wood, dd16 has yet to get into any trouble, but both DH and I did at this age (DH was the one arrested for pot possession!). Do you travel, as a family, anywhere else but WDW?
We have done lots of other combo trips, but we mostly just travel to FL (my family lives there) We have done trips to Tampa to visit her Great Aunt on her dad's side (whom I adore) Sanibel Island and Ft Myers area etc. For her 12th b-day I sent her to Seaworld Camp, and then we did bush garden, visited family etc. For her sweet 16th I took her and her BFF to Universal (her choice) for 5 days, and all of our WDW trips have always had a DD17 based itinerary ie: which rides she wanted, dining options, seperate shopping time for just the 2 of us
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miffy View Post
If your DD really doesn't want to go to WDW, then she won't feel left out if you go without her--she'll feel relieved. However, I wonder if she's just saying that she doesn't want to go to WDW again or if she means it. Only she knows that for sure, but I'm guessing you probably have a good idea of whether she truly means it or not. If she does mean it, then go without her. If she's just testing you, then have a heart-to-heart with her, let her know that she's part of the family and that you love her, even if things are difficult for her and with her relationship with you right now.

BTW--as if you don't know this already--your ex is doing you no favors by disagreeing with your policies regarding your daughter. And he's not doing your daughter any favors, either. Yes, SIGH, I am accutely aware of this, and hopefully he is becoming aware of it too, I just fear that in 2 months she will just batt her eyes, and he'll be right back to allowing her to do whatever she wants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodmnky View Post
If the vacation may need to be postponed for cancelled because of something other than your DD's total irresponsibility and lack of respect for the law I would say that the appropriate thing to do is to cancel until the whole family can attend. However, waiting until DD can go only reinforces the idea that her actions do not have consequences. Your DD will soon be held just as accountable for her actions as you or I would be and it may well be time that she learned this. Also, I would consider the message that it will send to the younger children in the home if you decide to rearrange all of your plans in order to accommodate DD.Fortunately my younger kids have NO CLUE that thier big sister, whom the love to no end, is such a bonehead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clm10308 View Post
It is so much harder to deal with teenagers when there are two different households evolved. I have a very close friend who was in the same situation until her daughter turned 18.

At this point, I would say to schedule the vacation at a time that your DD can currently attend. If the court or school makes it so that she is unable to attend, then that is the consequence of her actions. However, you might want to make it a more low key vacation rather than a Disney trip since that might cause more hard feelings. I won't make it a low key vacation to avoid hurt feelings for the simple fact that: This is what we want to do and plan/save for at least a year in advance usually, and she had absolutely no regard or respect for our/my feelings
Depending on your school district, this offense may get your DD assigned to an alternative school and not be allowed back to her gulag school for the rest of the year. You may want to do some investigating on this so it does not come as a complete surprise. She was only suspended for 5 days, she is already back in school.

Are you counting down the days until she turns 18? Yes, there are other issues that come up then, but my friend is so happy not to have to deal with her ex directly any longer.Not really counting, because knowing right now that my child has no FORESIGHT for her future, other than to follow an obviously troubled boy to PR, does not want that day to come any faster, in fact it makes me want to lock her in her room for a few more years...
Thank You ALL for your points of view and support. It does make it easier knowing that I am not completely wrong for wanting to still do this for the rest of my family. It has actually started pulling me out of the "sad" mode I was in and into a MAD mode, which is where I think I need to be, she definately is in need of a little more toughness, hopefully it can just be a united front. She made the choice (and it was a choice, not a mistake) so now she has to deal with the consequences.

PS...SO do you think it's too or too soon for me to try and be excited about this trip for my DH's sake??? We are planning on surprising the kids, but DH is sooo excited that we have MNSSHP AND MVMCP tickets. he wants me to put up a countdown chain!!! Man it really was a long, hard summer for him if he is this excited about our trip. I just don't want to look insensitive to what else is going on. (not that we have any friends or family here on Disboards)

Last edited by bankgirl05; 09-15-2012 at 12:09 PM. Reason: to add PS
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