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#3106 |
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Willing victim of the Disney Snowball Effect...
Okay so after a coffee and lunch break I am back! Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 13,609
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Get ready… there are about to be some waterworks a-flyin’!
Aunt Betty's Weepy, Wacky, Wonderful Christmas Trip to Disneyland (12/4/11 - 12/8/11) Day 4 - Wednesday, December 7, 2011 - Part 2 He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake! O! You better watch out! You better not cry. Better not pout, I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. In the last Trip Report segment (Part 1 of Day 4), despite battling a budding cold or other infection of some kind, I forced myself out of the Paradise Pier Hotel room to actually eat some food, take some pictures and wait for “M” to contact me, or wait until a time when I felt I could contact her. I enjoyed a cheeseless burger and some classic rock at Taste Pilots’ Grill in DCA, and then I got in some therapeutic photo-taking time among the humongous, whimsical Christmas lights and ornaments in A Bug’s Land (see post on previous page). These were my very last photos from A Bug’s Land, and my last photos from Day 4, period! ![]() I love this popsicle stick bench… ![]() More of the bug butts! ![]() ![]() I'll have a blue Christmas, that's certain; And when that blue heartache starts hurting, You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white, But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas. At 12:16 p.m., I received a text message – not a phone call – from “M” that said: “So my cousin and ‘V’ showed up this morning so we are with them at CA adventure.” That is an exact quote (except for that “M” spelled out “V’s” whole name, of course), bad punctuation and all. For clarification, the “cousin” to whom she was referring was obviously not the one who was enraged and lashing out at her on Facebook (which I mentioned in one of the installments for Day 2). This was another cousin. “M” and family were already IN the park – the same park where I was! I began to wonder if they had seen me from afar, prompting her to send the message. I had been in a relatively decent mood so far, even though I wasn’t feeling well and was pushing myself against my better judgment. When I received “M’s” message, it hit me like a ton of bricks because she KNEW how much I wanted to show her around California Adventure. I had been saying it since 2007, and “M” had recently said that I would be their “guide” around DCA. I only suggested going into Disneyland first on the prior day for her son’s benefit, so that little “R” could have the experience of stepping onto Main Street before doing anything else. If not for “R,” I would have said, “Let’s go into California Adventure first.” I felt like “M” was throwing it in my face that she was with “V” and with “M’s” cousin in the very park where she knew I wanted to show her around. Even though I assumed I’d end up spending only a few hours with “M” that day, I still thought it was not such a stretch to get them on a couple of rides. In fact, I’ll be really honest with you – after the way Day 3 (Tuesday) had gone, I was fully expecting that “M” would say, “‘V’ wants to join us in the parks – do you mind?” So I figured that “V” would end up in our group. But, at that rate (prior to Wednesday), I was already getting exasperated with “M” so I thought that maybe “V” would be a welcome relief. It was not part of the original plan to have her with us on “my” days with “M,” but I was willing to roll with it if it happened to work out that way. Maybe “V” and I would hit it off. For all I knew, maybe “V” was a member of the DIS. She lives in SoCal. Maybe we’d end up at DLR at the same time one of these days and could meet up, I thought. Who knows? So, basically, after I saw the way that Tuesday had unfolded, I was not opposed to having “V” there if she was going to be that anxious to be with “M” at DLR (and she came across as very anxious in her posts on Facebook, as though it never occurred to her that “M” had any other ‘Disneyland friends’). I just really didn’t think that “M” would totally dump me for “V.” It almost makes me think that she didn’t want us to meet because we may have hit it off. The other thing that made me mad – so, so, soooooo mad - was the passive-aggressive crap “M” was pulling…the fact that “M” used the phrase “…my cousin and ‘V’ showed up this morning…” No. No. No! These people did not just “show up” that morning, and “M” knew that very well. They obviously came down to DLR because it had been planned that way. At that moment, it all became crystal clear that this was what all of the other weirdness was about. “M” was obviously in talks with “V” and with her cousin all along to “show up” on Wednesday and meet them, and she couldn’t be mature or adult enough to just level with me, let alone invite me to join them. That’s why “M” didn’t call me directly to tell me she wasn’t coming to the parade – she didn’t want to ‘face’ me or deal with me directly. This is her M.O. from way back when - avoiding telling someone she was planning to back out on them so that she didn’t have to deal with any discomfort, thus leaving them hanging and not knowing what was going on. That’s why “M” didn’t even bother responding to my message about Holly Madison, which ordinarily would have elicited a response. That’s why “B” acted strangely when I asked him the day before if he still needed my help to get “M” in front of the Castle at night. He probably knew that “V” was possibly going to show up. That’s why “M” gave “B” that look - as if she was trying to make eye contact with him so he would back up her story – when I mentioned my VIP World of Color viewing and the fact that “M” didn’t want to stand up for 20 minutes. She knew that “V” and her cousin would be coming down to Anaheim on Wednesday and she didn’t want to agree to see WoC because of it, but instead decided to use the “I don’t want to stand for 20 minutes” excuse and hoped “B” would go along with it. It all made sense. I was also fuming because “M” didn’t even say, “I’m sorry,” or “Do you want to join us” or anything like that in her message. She just treated me like I was a casual acquaintance with whom she hadn’t made any real plans. But, how stupid did “M” think I was? I may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them! Clearly I would put two and two together and know that she had this planned and that “V” (and “M’s” cousin) did not just “show up.” I sat on a bench across from the entrance of A Bug’s Land. I replied to “M’s” text with bitter words. I said: “Nice. Thanks a lot, ‘M.’ THAT was the one place I wanted to show you. It meant a lot to me. You knew they were coming and didn’t tell me. Thanks a lot. Goodbye.” I clicked ‘Send’ at 12:20 p.m. I quickly logged onto Facebook from my phone to see if there had been any indication of what was happening that I had missed. I noticed that, a little earlier, “B” posted a status update on his page that said he was with “M” and “V” at…..you guessed it….SOARIN.’ So that meant they had been at Soarin’ before “M” text messaged me. That was the one ride I had been telling “M” for 4 years that I wanted to bring her on, and she was already on it – or planning to go on it – with “V,” who just miraculously “showed up” that morning, along with “M’s” cousin who also just miraculously showed up at the same time! Imagine that! Two people showing up at once – what a coincidence! Another thing became apparent – the only reason “M” sent that message to me to tell me about her cousin and “V” showing up was because “B” had already posted where they were on Facebook. He must not have known (or didn’t care) that “M” blew me off for “V,” or he just didn’t think about me seeing his update on Facebook. It dawned on me that “M” probably panicked after “B” posted that update, knowing that I would see it sooner or later. She had no way of knowing whether I had or had not already seen it. She then figured that she’d better do damage control and send me a message herself to make it look like she was communicating. I would bet money that I don’t have that there is no way in Hades that “M” would have sent me a message to tell me what was going on if not for “B’s” Facebook status update. She would have avoided me completely, hoping I didn’t call her. Now the thing for “M” to do, after receiving my caustic reply – if she were a real friend who had an ounce of courtesy and politeness in her body – would have been to call me or send another message right away that said, “Why don’t you come and meet us here?” Or something like that, so that it didn’t sound as if she was completely abandoning me. (She knew I had set aside the day for her, so she could not have thought that I was with Laurie and Molly.) You would think she would be concerned that she had upset her friend, even if she couldn’t understand it. I just can’t imagine that the first thought in “M’s” head – after receiving my response – wouldn’t have been, “I don’t want my friend to be upset. I have to call her right back.” To me, it seems that would have been the normal response for anyone. But…if it was a thought in her mind, she sure didn’t act on it. She acted like she just didn’t care. I was sick of “M” at that point, and I saw that she had not changed one bit from how she used to be. After I checked Facebook and saw “B’s” status update about being at Soarin’ with the gang, I sat there for a minute, trying to decide what my next move for the day would be. Would it be possible for me to snap out of the mood “M” had just put me in and try to salvage my day? Should I contact Laurie and/or Molly and see where they are in the parks? Should I just go back to the PPH room to get more rest and be by myself for a while (because Laurie and Molly were in the parks)? I decided that, regardless of what I was going to do later in the day or at night, I should go back to the PPH to rest and get quiet time. It's Christmas time; there's no need to be afraid At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time But say a prayer to pray for the other ones At Christmas time It's hard, but when you're having fun There's a world outside your window And it's a world of dread and fear Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears I was just about to grab my bag and get up from the bench, when…out of the corner of my left eye…I saw that there was movement. Something was moving. I didn’t think much of it because crowds were walking by and stopping to adjust strollers and things like that. I turned my head to the right, just out of habit, to quickly see what was happening off in the distance towards Paradise Pier. And then I turned my head to the left for the same reason – habit. Just to see what was going on in that direction. And there they were. All of them. Walking slowly in my direction. More to the point, I saw “M,” “B,” “R,” “S,” “V” and “M’s” cousin (the cousin was pushing “R’s” stroller). I quickly snapped my head back around and looked off to the right, in hopes they hadn’t yet seen me. “You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered to myself. Actually – I won’t lie – I inserted another choice word in that sentence too, but I can’t use it on the DIS!! “Unreal.” I said. I was thinking, “Great. I can’t get up and walk away. It will look like I’m avoiding them. I’ll just stay here and deal with it.” When I didn’t see “M” and company nearing my bench at a time that seemed reasonable given their pace, I looked to the left again. I saw them all standing there, about 35 feet away (roughly), huddled in a group. I looked away again. I heard someone say, in a mocking, teasing, childish tone (not in a tone that was genuine and not even loud enough to be directed at me), “…hi, Sherry…” It was “B’s” voice. What it sounded like to me – from the odd little bits and pieces I could pick up - was that they were all deliberating on what to do, such as whether they should approach me, whether only “M” should approach me, whether they should invite me to join them, whether they should walk by and say “Hi, Sherry,” or whether they should turn and walk the other way, etc. The fact that they even had to stop and think about it and discuss it like I was someone they could barely tolerate incensed me even more. How dare they? Act like adults. Act like human beings. How dare “M” treat me that way? Own up to what you did and come up to me and talk to me. Be decent people. I think it threw them for a loop to see me almost as much as it threw me for a loop to see them. I don’t think “M” had any idea that I was already IN California Adventure when she texted me. I’m sure she couldn’t have thought that I had rushed over to DCA in the few minutes after getting her message. She had to have realized that I was in DCA the whole time. After the group discussion ended, they began once again walking in my direction. I saw this out of the corner of my eye. I thought to myself, “Okay, here they come…are they going to apologize? Are they going to invite me to join them? Are they going to introduce me to ‘M’s’ cousin and to ‘V’?” And what do you think they did? Any guesses? They kept right on walking. The whole motley crew of them just proceeded to sail right past me and ignore me. “S,” “M’s” dad, was once again in his scooter. He saw them all walking past me and not speaking to me. I was looking down at my hands in my lap at this point. I heard someone yelling, “Hello? Hello? Hello?” I looked up. It was “S.” He was the only one who was decent enough to actually acknowledge me. When “M” and “B” and the rest of them noticed that – heaven forbid – “S” had dared to actually greet me, they slowed down to wait for him. I looked up and smiled at him. I waved and said, “Hello!” He looked confused, as though he didn’t understand why “M” and company were just ignoring me, or why I wasn’t with them, or whatever. Lord only knows what pile of malarkey “M” told him. “S” caught up to them. I saw “M” look over her right shoulder at me, smirk and look away. I’m sure she didn’t intend it to be an actual ‘smirk,’ but that’s what it appeared. It was a phony half-grin – and there was no reason to be grinning at that moment. She said nothing to me. It was as if she was looking at me in an “Oh, poor you, too bad you’re upset” kind of way. They all just kept walking. I suddenly felt like I was in school, minding my own business, sitting by myself and being picked on my mean kids who were mocking me or something. I could not even believe that my “friend” of so many years would behave this way – to not even come over and speak to me, to not call me and try to smooth things over, to not care that she upset me, etc. I hadn’t done anything to deserve that. All I did was try to make her DLR trip extra special and do nice things for her and for her son. And so…that’s when I just started crying. All of the frustration I had been suppressing for the last couple of days – along with being upset that I was getting sick – just poured out. I noticed that my eyes were welling up. I thought I had managed to dry them when I dabbed them with my fingers, but the tears kept coming….so much so that I realized I didn’t want to sit in the middle of all the passersby where people could see me crying. I walked over to the bench that was right outside of the GCH entrance into DCA. It was a spot that was around a corner, so I thought that I might be out of the line of traffic. I don’t have a laptop, so the only way to e-mail anyone when I’m not at home is to do it from my cell phone. As I sat on this bench near the GCH entrance into DCA, I sent off a few e-mails to friends – to Shawn and Jackie and other friends who know “M.” I told them that I was crying on a bench and that “M” had just walked past me in DCA, essentially pretending she didn’t know me…and certainly exhibiting that she didn’t care. I also told them that she had backed out on the Christmas Fantasy parade without contacting me. They all were horrified at “M’s” behavior. One friend said, “It’s like she is in high school and not a middle-aged woman!” Someone else said, “Well, I thought she had matured but obviously she hasn’t.” I told them, “The thing is…now I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to leave, and I’m stuck here until tomorrow. I have no way to get home until tomorrow.” I felt very lost and alone at that moment. I was glad that my friends seemed to be rallying around me via e-mail and offering up words of support and comfort. Secretly, I hoped that one of them (or more than one) would contact “M” and go off on her, even though I didn’t ask for such a thing to be done. I couldn’t stop myself from crying though, and I had no desire to be in California Adventure at that moment. I needed to get back to the Paradise Pier Hotel room and just rest by myself. I know that the temptation is there for many of you to jump in and say, “Well, I would have done X, Y and Z,” or ‘You should have said this or that to her,” or “You should have done [fill in the blank].” If that temptation arises, please remember my first 3 Pre-Trip Report/Background/Introduction installments that I posted before this actual December 2011 TR began. If you read those, I think it will be very clear why I put up with certain things from friends, or why certain things may matter to me more than they matter to other people, or why they may upset me more than they upset other people. In my case, my friends are my family. If you have a trouble-making family member, do you stop dealing with them early on – or do you put up with them for years and years because they are family? I would bet that the latter scenario is often the case. Now, don’t get me wrong – this doesn’t mean that I will continue to put up with “M’s” antics as far as making another actual DLR plan. I learned my lesson in December! I don’t think she would bring it up again, and I wouldn’t bring it up either. Oh, and, in case you’re wondering – “M” has not mentioned this whole episode even one time since it happened. I have a feeling that at least one friend said something to her about it – not sure who, though – but it wasn’t enough to get “M” to apologize or even bring it up. In her mind, I’m sure she has absolved herself of any guilt. I have no gift to bring Pa rum pum pum pum That's fit to give our King Pa rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Shall I play for you! Pa rum pum pum On my drum. Still in tears, I went into the Grand Californian Hotel and began walking my usual course through the GCH, back to the PPH. As I rounded a corner into a corridor of the GCH, I passed right by a very familiar face – celebrity sighting #2 – Zach Galifianakis of “The Hangover” fame. I have seen “The Hangover” and its sequel many times, so I would recognize that face and those eyes anywhere. He was not walking with anyone, but was kind of walking with purpose as if he was going to meet someone. He glanced at me quickly in that “Does she recognize me” way, but I said nothing. I was thinking to myself, “Hey that’s Zach Galifianakis. I hope he can’t tell that I am crying,” but I wasn’t in the mood to smile or speak. “Too bad it wasn’t Bradley Cooper,” I said. Now he may have prompted me to smile! Tears? What tears? (I have since tried to find online evidence of Zach G. sightings at DLR on December 7th, as I did with Holly Madison being in the parks on 12/6. I have not found anything – no photos, no reports, nothing – to substantiate my claims. So this leads me to believe that either Zach was only at the GCH that day and not in the parks – maybe for a Napa Rose meal or maybe to do something in Downtown Disney – or maybe he is just simply not recognizable enough for anyone to have noticed him!) Children laughing People passing Meeting smile after smile And on ev'ry street corner you'll hear Silver bells, silver bells It's Christmas time in the city Ring-a-ling, hear them sing Soon it will be Christmas day. When I got back to the Paradise Pier Hotel, I grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, made sure I had plenty of tissues handy and collapsed on the bed. I can’t remember what was on TV but I turned it on just because it was there and I was by myself. That is, until Molly came to the room to either get something or drop something off during the day. She knew I hadn’t been feeling well, but I filled her in on what happened with “M.” I told her I just wanted to come back and rest for a while. I didn’t really think that Molly would be all that interested in my personal dramas (understandably – she doesn’t know me!), and I didn’t necessarily want to unload them on her…yet, at the same time, I was not in the mood to make small talk. I’d rather just be totally silent – which is rude to do with someone you just met, who is in your hotel room – or tell her what happened to ‘get it out there,’ so that if I seemed to be in a bad mood she would know why. Eventually Molly left to head back to one of the parks. On her way out, she checked the gift shop at PPH for NyQuil, DayQuil, or any other kind of ‘Quil’ to help me feel better. She called me from the shop and told me that they had DayQuil, but no NyQuil. I needed something at that point, and DayQuil would have to do. I went downstairs and got my medicine – I even used my Annual Pass for a discount on the Day Quil! – and then dragged myself back upstairs to the room to see if I could get a catnap in. At some point or another I also made contact with Laurie via text, I think, and told her that I wasn’t sure I could make it to see World of Color that night because I didn’t have the energy. I told Laurie to go ahead and use the VIP viewing for WoC, but she was doing the holiday tour that day, and by the time the parade would end it would be cutting it too close to get to the VIP viewing area of WoC by the time that was stated by Special Activities. Molly didn’t use my VIP viewing either – she felt odd using it when it was under my name and I wasn’t there. So, basically, I got the VIP viewing for World of Color and none of us used it! Lol. Eventually I established I was just going to stay in for the night. I didn’t have it in me – emotionally or physically – to go out in the cold (which I would normally love!) and try to be…merry. Even though I hoped that “M” would be overcome with guilt and that her day in the parks would go terribly, I really just wanted to block out all the unpleasantness. I wondered if “V” would actually have the patience to deal with “M’s” relentless shopping and stop-start way of moving through Disneyland. For all I knew, “V” and “M’s” cousin might be exactly like “M.” After popping my DayQuil, I fell asleep – ear plugs in and covers over my head – and pretty much stayed in bed until the next morning. Molly and Laurie came in later on in the evening and Molly told Laurie what had happened to me earlier in the day. The first Noel, the angel did say, Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay; In fields where they lay keeping their sheep, On a cold winter's night that was so deep. (By the way, since the trip I have seen a few random photos and read bits and pieces of things here and there – it appears that “V” stayed with “M” until nighttime on Wednesday. So they were actually together longer than I was with “M.” Apparently “V” took “R” on Dumbo and other kid rides, and they all went on Toy Story Midway Mania and had a rollicking time [another ride I had planned to bring “M” on].) I even saw some hokey message that “V” posted on “M’s” Facebook wall about being sad that “M” was going back to Idaho, but then a rainbow appeared in the sky and she thought of “M” and the sky was no longer crying, and blah blah blah. Yes…a rainbow. Um…maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t hang out with them that day after all. ![]() I also learned after the fact that “M” and “B” had to schlep their laundry over to my hotel because they couldn’t use the laundry facilities at the Disneyland Hotel. Apparently they were at the PPH after midnight, washing clothes, and then they found another person willing to drive them back to the DLH in a golf cart. I wish they hadn’t been able to find anyone to drive them, and had been forced to walk back to the DLH with their laundry, but…I’m evil like that!) Coming up next, in the last Trip Report installment - Day 5 (the final day): The Paradise Pier Hotel makes yet another mistake on my bill; another Goofy’s Kitchen meal awaits (as does a persnickety photographer), and this time, someone actually treats me!; and…this saga of a DLR holiday trip finally comes to an END! Can you stand it? Can you deal with the Aunt Betty TR finally being over? I can! It has been a long time coming, with many setbacks, but the end is within reach. Hallelujah to that!
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2012 Christmas Time Trip Reports![]() CHRISTMAS PHOTOS OF CARS LAND & BUENA VISTA ST. - 11/12/12 (begins on Page 222/Post #3328; ends on Page 231/Post #3464) "Candlelight & Cannonballs! (MANY MARDI GRAS MASK PICTURES!) -12/9/12 - 12/12/12" - begins on Page 235/Post #3524 (in progress!) "The Return of the Masked Mouse & His Diabolical Twin- Halloween Time 2011" (begins on Page 145/Post #2170; ends on Page 155/Post #2312) 2012 Catalina Island Trip Report![]() Catalina Island/Avalon - My Solo Day Trip, in Photos (LOTS of Photos!)- 7/21/12 Last edited by Sherry E; 09-10-2012 at 11:38 PM. |
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#3107 |
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Mouseketeer since birth!
I am lucky to have kids who also love Disney and a husband who loves it (and us) enough to humor my passion! Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Blazing Heat, AZ
Posts: 2,177
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![]() Wow. Wow. WOW. Even knowing/guessing/imagining where this was going I didn't see that coming. I think I had figured out M would do things with other friends that you had agreed to do together, or maybe even stand you up completely that day. I saw the avoidance coming, you suspected it too; she might even have been able to talk herself into justifying it. Or convinced you it wasn't her fault. But to not even be willing to walk up to a lifelong friend and apologize, or even acknowledge you, that is LOW and IMMATURE. I had friends in about 8th grade that behaved like that and it was immature in junior high! Once again, her father was the only decent person of the group, even if it was only because he was just out of the we're-pretending-she-doesn't-exist loop. Just sad -- that many people walking around in grown-up clothes but acting like they were 12. I tend to be an optimist and look for the good in people (I suspect you are much the same). I've rationalized or forgiven people's careless/reckless/unthinking behavior plenty. But I think I would have been crying on that bench too if a "friend" pulled that on me. ![]() Once again, ![]() PHXscuba p.s. I don't know yet where you stand with her today, but I would limit my exposure to someone that toxic. |
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#3108 |
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Prayers and pixie dust from your friends on the DIS
Hugs I have been flipping all around the internet Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fairfield, CA
Posts: 29,964
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Oy! Sherry, I am sorry that they treated you that way. That is not how a true friend acts.
I was wondering......did they see any unicorns with the rainbow?
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#3109 |
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I <3 Aglets
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,437
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Whoa. I can't believe this. Well, I can after becoming a bit familiar with M's M.O. -- but you know what I mean. I figured she had made plans with V and felt too awkward telling you, but that she would eventually meet up with you and come up with some excuse about someone else saying such and such, "so she had to go" kind of thing. Her typical not taking accountability. But to ditch you in the way that she did, and then walk on by like that after obviously seeing you? Despicable. I was nearly in tears myself just reading about it.
![]() Did you ever find out what the business in front of the castle was all about? B needing your help with whatever? And just for the record...no temptation arising from my end as far as thinking, "Well, I would have done this or that..." I understand about putting up with certain things because someone is part of your family. I enjoyed all the intermittent Christmas songs. Ah...still love hearing Simon Le Bon's voice in "Do They Know It's Christmas?" I always tell my kids "no talking allowed" during Simon's part.
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Done! It's 4 Trips in 1! Christmas, Spring, Halloween... Then Went Back For Ice Cream!
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2342117 |
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#3110 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 4,769
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Oh my goodness, how low can "M" get by doing that to you at DCA. That is just inexcusable for "M" to do that to you that day. For not telling you that they were in DCA that day with "V" and passing by you and not even saying anything is just low and rude.
I'm sorry to hear about your day where "M" and her family ignored you that day. I'm still shocked by reading this.
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(Premier Pass Holder & D23 Charter Member)All my Completed TR & pics of Disney Parks on one thread A Day at the Walt Disney Studios and Archives and Disneyland - May 3 to 5, 2013, Quick Trip with the Family during the Madness - June 28 - 30, 2013 Pictures of my Trip to the DLR on May 3rd to 5th, 2013 Videos of my Disney Trips on Youtube |
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#3111 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 3,881
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Holy cow! I've could imagine a lot of immature/caustic/hurtful behavior from 'adults' but I didn't ever see this coming. It was bad enough that she sent the text (and good for you for replying and letting her know her behavior was hurtful) then the horror of acutally seeing their band of misfits!
I would never have been able to come up with an appropriate response at the time. (Nor would 90% of the normal population no matter what they may say) Even reading it now I'm flumoxed, flabergasted, appalled, and yes my heart ached that someone you knew for such a long time and considered a friend would treat you with such disregard. There is NO possible explaination for M's behavior or for B and the rest of her group for being OK with it. To know that to this day she finds nothing wrong with her behavior just cements that this chick is seriously twisted.Now driving home I could have come up with an appropriate zinger but at the time.... I would have been right there on the bench with you sharing a box of Bug's Life tissues. I don't think I would have been able to recover and enjoy a happy day either feeling like crud and having a heavy heart. Those two things together would have done me in too. I'm hoping that the long rest, discounted drugs, and a new day brough a bit of joy into your trip. I'm also hoping being able to journal makes it easier to look at the whole experience with a lighter heart. Sending hugs and my favorite emoticon
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Visit Tally: WDW 12, DL 5, DCL 5 Trip Reports: First Trip Home, SWW, Water Parks
2008.6.22 WDW family heads to DL, 2009 ABD Quest for the West, 2009 Holiday tour & NYE at Disneyland, One Day Solo DL at Halloween, NYE at WDW 2010, Disneyland New Year's 2012 Last edited by tksbaskets; 09-10-2012 at 11:19 AM. |
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#3112 |
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Prayers and pixie dust from your friends on the DIS
Hugs I have been flipping all around the internet Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fairfield, CA
Posts: 29,964
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Sherry, last night I was just so flabbergasted that she did such a thing that although I had thoughts I didn't post them all, I need to correct that.
That was such middle school behavior. I am talking 11-12 years old. I think what bothers me the most is that she is teaching her son to be a thoughtless person just like she is. And everybody else? Seriously? What a bunch of spineless ninnys. The clicque mentaltity? Or is it just easier to give "M" her way? I feel sorry for "B"'s dad. Can you imagine how he must get treated? Just playing on my phone!!
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#3113 |
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 145
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Sherry I am so sorry! That must have been awful. Considering you are telling this story with about 8 months of perspective I can imagine that day was even worse than we are hearing it. Unfortunately, I have been in this situation and I was the one sitting on the bench too - just awful. I am so sorry she treated you that way. I am glad you reached out to your true friends - that is the only thing you can do in a situation like this. I suspect if you hadn't been feeling so bad (health-wise) you would have joined Molly or Laurie and been able to get some nice time in the parks.
I totally understand your comment about not being able to think clearly with a lot of people around - I am the same way now. I never used to be but as the years pass and I spend a lot of time alone - it seems to get worse. Not that I don't like having people around - it is just different when you spend a lot of time by yourself. I'm glad to hear you are thinking ahead to a trip this year - you definitely need a do-over holiday trip!
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Dawn
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#3114 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 571
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(((BIG HUGS)))
I am shaking my head. That is not a friend, in no shape, way or form in my book. Being sick made it worse. By the sounds of it, "M"s dad is seeing first hand what kind of daughter he has raised and he doesn't like it. He is probably ashamed of how she turned out. I would have cried too. I would have stopped by one of the shops and would have gotten me as much chocolate as I could have gotten and a bag of Fritos! LOL I know weird combo but the salty chips alternated with the sweet chocolate is awesome. I am anxious to find out how much, if any contact you have had with 'M' since this has happened, and where your relationship is with her today (if there is a relationship). Did she answer your text or did she just blow it off like it wasn't anything. M and her gang acted like mean girls in school. I didn't like those type of people in high school, and I down right dislike them with a passion now! I hope you are able to have a do over trip this December. You deserve it. Too bad M couldn't pay for it for ruining the trip. I am waiting for the next installment!
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Hey Moe, I tried to think, but nothing happened!
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#3115 | |||||||
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Willing victim of the Disney Snowball Effect...
Okay so after a coffee and lunch break I am back! Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 13,609
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Quote:
Thank you. I will give a 'where are we now' or 'where do we stand now' update after I do the final TR installment (Day 5), so you'll find out about where things stand with "M." If I can't get it posted before you leave town on Friday, just make sure to check back here for the update after you get back!After seeing how Day 3 (Tuesday) went, I had a feeling that "M" would pull a fast one on Wednesday but I just wasn't sure exactly what would happen. It could have gone a few different ways. As I mentioned yesterday, I kind of figured that "M" would tell me that "V" was there and ask if I minded hanging out with her, and then it would be up to me to decide if I wanted to do it or not. That alone would have been backing out on the plans we had, but that's kind of the way I thought it would go. I might have expected "M" to blow me off completely if it had been 10 or 20 years ago, but I was giving her more credit and assuming she wouldn't be that cold and ridiculous now. Wrong! I'm not sure how much "M's" father knew or did not know, but you're right - he was the only one acting like a decent person in that scenario. I'm sure that "M" gave him some 'interesting' version of what was going on, but he knows her so he may not have believed it. Quote:
I don't know what was on that rainbow or at the end of it, but I thought it was ridiculous!Quote:
You know, the intermittent Christmas songs were an afterthought! I'm glad you liked them. I knew I had only a few photos for that whole post, and a lot of text, and I wanted to break up the text in some way. So, rather than just inserting the usual emoticons, I thought, "What better time to randomly burst into song?" I figured I would just break up some of the text with extra songs (bonus tracks, if you will!)!The voice that always pops into my head when I am thinking of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" is Bono's - not that it's my favorite of all of them, but it just jumps out at me. And that video is so '80s - it is like a perfect snapshot of what '80s music (pre-hair metal) looked like, right along with the "We Are the World" video! As for the business in front of the Castle - actually, no. I never found out what it was about. I think that "B" maybe had some sort of gift he was going to give "M," but I have no clue what the 'occasion' was (or even what the gift was). It was not their anniversary. It was not anyone's birthday. They don't celebrate Christmas, and Hanukkah was not due to begin for another couple of weeks, as I recall. So...I'm stumped. All I know is that "V" was probably the lucky one who got Castle duty since I was bumped from the plan. Maybe that's when she took "R" on rides - when "B" and "M" were at the Castle. I think that just the fact that "M" and company were standing off to the side in DCA, trying to decide what their next move should be, was absurd. I didn't get up and walk away, and I easily could have done that when I saw them. I stayed there. "M" is the one who is supposed to be my friend - not "B," and not anyone else in that group - and she is the one who broke plans with me and invited someone else to join her in DCA when she knew that was what I was most looking forward to. It should have been her responsibility to come up to me and say something. She chose not to. I have a feeling, though, that if someone were to ask "M" about her version of the events that transpired that day, she would say something like, "Well, we said hi to Sherry but she ignored us." Or, "We were going to invite her to join us but didn't think she'd want to." Or, "Well, 'B' was supposed to tell Sherry when he saw her at the parade that 'V' was coming down the next day and he didn't. I thought Sherry already knew." Those would be typical 'passing the buck and not being accountable' responses from "M." There was one time when "M" was invited to a friend's wedding - a friend who had been part of "M's" own wedding party, by the way - and this friend was waiting and waiting and waiting to get the RSVP from "M." "M" continually did not contact her or reply, even though the friend tried to reach her. The friend was getting increasingly frustrated. Eventually, someone managed to get hold of "M's" parents and ask them to find out from "M" if she was going to attend the wedding because she couldn't be bothered to respond herself. "S" got hold of "M" and eventually someone - I think it was "B" - ended up RSVP'ing with a "No." Later, "M" used the excuse that "B" was supposed to have been the one to RSVP a long time ago and he hadn't done it. All that time, she claimed, she thought he had RSVP'd. Meanwhile, "M" was the friend of the other friend getting married - not "B." It should have been her place to respond to the friend when that friend kept trying to find out if she was coming to the wedding! Instead, she avoided the whole issue and then passed the buck, not realizing why anyone was annoyed with her.Quote:
You're right - it was low and rude, and not the way a lifelong friend should treat another friend at that age. I don't know how "M" could act that way and not feel guilty, or not be concerned that she had upset me, but she seemed to deal with it just fine! Well, the good news is that the next (and final) installment of the TR includes another Goofy's Kitchen meal. So, even though I was ready for that whole trip to be over so I could get home and rest, at least it ended on a high note. I was still sick, of course, but at least my last memory of being at DLR for a holiday trip was not the image of sitting on a bench in tears, or sitting in my hotel room watching TV. Quote:
Thank you, TK. ![]() I still get a hoot out of that emoticon!![]() I was surprised that I could use my AP discount for DayQuil! I figured that Disney would put some sort of limitation on what types of items in the gift shop would be acceptable for discounts, but they let me use it! It was still an expensive investment, though - even with the discount. It was something like $11 and change. If I hadn't been at DLR, I could have pulled out a coupon and gone to a store where DayQuil was already on sale and gotten it for less money. Or, heck, forget the DayQuil - I would have gone for NyQuil! Well, you know, 9 months have passed since the 2011 holiday fiasco. If I hadn't been sick, I'm sure I would have gotten to the TR earlier and gotten it out of the way. But, because of all the extenuating circumstances I had to wait to get the TR done (and now it's almost totally finished! ). So because I am doing the TR now, it probably seems as though I am still in tears or still actively upset. I can look back on everything that happened and get momentarily annoyed, but I am not at that raw stage anymore. There are too many other things to worry about for me at the moment. I just would not have felt complete if I didn't include that December 2011 Aunt Betty TR in this thread! I could have easily just posted photos from the trip - the few photos that I took - but I would have thought, "How can I not mention X, Y or Z? I have to explain what happened." There are some trips where I can get away with just sharing photos because they are not that eventful. This one was eventful! I almost feel like the trip was another lifetime ago! I just hope hope hope that I can manage another multi-night holiday trip this year to somehow replace that mess from last year. The thing is, I'm never going to get another PPH stay at those rates, so I would have to suddenly have a windfall if I were to stay onsite again. I've had a lot of time to think about things. I am certain that "M" would have a different recap of events (even though most of it would be skewed or would have an 'I'm going to avoid accountability' angle) if she were confronted. That doesn't mean that I think I am at fault in any way for what happened - this was a case in which I don't think I did anything wrong - but I'm sure that, in "M's" mind, she has probably convinced herself that I am somehow partially to blame and that she had no clue that I would be upset with her. And that's fine. Whatever. I don't have to see her again. I sure as heck don't have to go to DLR with her again. I was telling deej that "M" has made a couple of vague comments to other people on Facebook about coming out here again, and going to DLR again, this year. I don't know if that trip will happen, but I think she knows better than to approach me about being involved. And if she did, for some crazy reason, approach me, I would have to just ignore her or say, "I won't be available." If I dared to say anything else, I might be tempted to go off on a tangent and I don't want to do that. I don't want to get back in that angry/upset head space again. Hopefully their trip won't happen, and if it does, hopefully they won't end up at DLR when I'm there - the last thing I need is to run into them again ! At most, I might eat somewhere with them again in the future (not necessarily this year), but I would not offer up any AP discount nor would I be mixed in with their money madness. I would insist on having my own bill, even if the Cast Member at the restaurant hated me for it!Quote:
Thank you for taking the time to offer additional thoughts - although I got a big kick and chuckle out of your rainbow comment from yesterday! ![]() I agree - I was thinking, "How can everyone go along with just walking past me, except for 'S'?" I realize that "V" and "M's" cousin may not have known the whole story, or they only knew what "M" told them, but "B" would have known enough of what was happening. How could he just allow them all to sail past me? He and her dad had just been with me at the parade the night before, and "B" can't be bothered to say hello! Now I realize that they would probably say, "Well, we called out Sherry's name and she ignored us." First of all, I don't think they actually called out TO me. I heard my name mentioned, and it did not sound as though they were calling to me. It sounded as though they were talking about me. The only one who actually called out to me was "M's" dad. BUT, even if they had called out TO me and I didn't respond, then they should have walked right up to me and said something to be sure I heard them. "M" should have come up to me and talked to me and she didn't. It was obvious she did not want to do that. There is no excuse for that. I don't know what she could have told all of them that would make them believe that she somehow was justified in ignoring me, but no one seemed to have any problem walking past me except for "S." And I agree - they are setting a bad example for "R." Quote:
Thank you for the kind words. Yes, you're right - if I hadn't been sick, things may have been a tad different. Well, first of all, if I could go back and do the whole trip over again - or at least from Day 2 on - I would certainly make different choices and different plans. But, given the actual course of events, if I hadn't been sick I could have rebounded from the whole "M" mess a little faster. I would have stayed at DLR longer on Day 5 (instead of leaving after Goofy's Kitchen), to spend a bit of extra time with Laurie and Molly before they headed back to Oregon and Washington, respectively. I may have even been able to get myself back out and into the parks on Wednesday night. I had wanted to take some nighttime pictures and do nighttime things, but once I got sick that was off the table! If I could go back and redo anything, I would certainly spend more time wandering around and taking pictures, as that is what makes me happy! If I could go back and erase any in-park time spent with "M" and family from the trip, and erase what happened, I probably would have spent Tuesday and most of Wednesday taking photos by myself. I probably would have asked Laurie and Molly to come out on Monday instead of Tuesday, and then I would have hung out with them on that arrival day. I have a hard time thinking, sleeping, or sticking with my usual routine when other people are around. I can't function in the same way because I am so used to being solo. It's hard for others to understand because most everyone else has families or people they live with. They don't get why it would be difficult to adjust to suddenly being around a bunch of people! I'm glad that you know what I mean. I don't know what kind of DLR trip I will have this holiday season - it may only be random day trips here and there - but there will be something. I really need a full holiday trip again, with multiple nights and all of that, but I don't know if it will be possible, money-wise. Fortunately I did the Cars Land preview in June (a fluke for me, as I never go to DLR in June), so that was a nice treat. But the holiday season is my true love, with Halloween Time on its heels. Halloween Time at DLR starts this coming Friday, but it is supposed to be very, very hot - like in the 90's (last year it was in the 70's) - and I don't think I can deal with that right now. I don't want to get nauseous and headachy again! I am not a heat-lovin' gal!! So, I will have to do a day trip for Halloween Time later in the season - and I have not yet figured out when. As for the holidays, my Annual Pass expires after November 13th. The holiday season begins on 11/12. Having not yet decided if I am going to renew the AP, or when I will renew, being at DLR on 11/12 or 11/13 is important. (Plus, I am dying to see the Buena Vista Street and Cars Land decorations!) And then I will try to go again in December, even if just for one day. I never quite feel like it's a full holiday trip to DLR unless it's in December. December just has that extra magic for me that November doesn't have! ![]() Thank you, all my DIS-friends, for your kind words and support!!! I have one more TR installment to do, and then the "Aftermath/Update" installment will come after that...and then we will be all done with this December 2011 TR! ![]() Linda - I will reply to you a little bit later - your post came in while I was typing up my above responses, so that's why I didn't include you in the answers! I hope that Virgoinab is still out there, following along too!
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2012 Christmas Time Trip Reports![]() CHRISTMAS PHOTOS OF CARS LAND & BUENA VISTA ST. - 11/12/12 (begins on Page 222/Post #3328; ends on Page 231/Post #3464) "Candlelight & Cannonballs! (MANY MARDI GRAS MASK PICTURES!) -12/9/12 - 12/12/12" - begins on Page 235/Post #3524 (in progress!) "The Return of the Masked Mouse & His Diabolical Twin- Halloween Time 2011" (begins on Page 145/Post #2170; ends on Page 155/Post #2312) 2012 Catalina Island Trip Report![]() Catalina Island/Avalon - My Solo Day Trip, in Photos (LOTS of Photos!)- 7/21/12 Last edited by Sherry E; 09-10-2012 at 07:45 PM. Reason: Typos! |
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#3116 |
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Prayers and pixie dust from your friends on the DIS
Hugs I have been flipping all around the internet Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fairfield, CA
Posts: 29,964
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I believe firmly in karma.
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#3117 |
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Mouseketeer since birth!
I am lucky to have kids who also love Disney and a husband who loves it (and us) enough to humor my passion! Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Blazing Heat, AZ
Posts: 2,177
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Sherry, you are going to have to teach me how to multi-quote like a pro. I guess that's wishful thinking that any PTR I write would have more than one person commenting at a time.
I agree that if M comes back to CA that you shouldn't put yourself out in any way. If SHE invites YOU to something specific than you can decide if you want to participate in that limited way. I do believe in forgiveness, but choosing to forgive someone for past behavior (for your own healing) doesn't mean they get to stomp all over you again. I'm glad you got a do-over at Goofy's Kitchen (hopefully under less-Goofy conditions) and a positive memory to end on. PHXscuba |
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#3118 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 618
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What a horrible, selfish, rotten, no-good, smug, lying, whacked out beach! That's a terrible way to treat a stranger let alone a good childhood friend!
It's like watching a scene right out of the movie Mean Girls. I would have been so frustrated, hurt, confused, angry and in tears, too. Nobody deserves to be treated like that! You were so thoughtful to make arrangements for the parade and WoC, to share your hotel room with her for that night thinking that you would get to share some good times with an old friend, to give her those presents that she didn't even have the courtesy to genuinely look at and say thank you for.I'm really sad and upset for what happened to you. You're a great person who shares a lot of herself and gives to others, even when you don't have much for yourself. We're very lucky to have you share your experiences with us here on the Dis.
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Chereya - Mama of two boys
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#3119 |
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SWWA
Posts: 220
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Oh my goodness, Sherry -- I have no words. Or at least words I can say on this forum, except maybe for ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH. It's one thing to decide that you want to change your plans, it's another thing to completely dump a friend without the courtesy of telling them that plans have changed. Not to mention being stupid enough to put that info out there on the internet where you're going to read it. So, so, so immature and selfish and mean. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially with all of the special things you did (or wanted to do) for her and her family.
I know you've had time to process it, but I think the rest of us are really ticked off right now!!!! |
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#3120 | ||||
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Willing victim of the Disney Snowball Effect...
Okay so after a coffee and lunch break I am back! Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 13,609
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Ugh. All this talk about being sick last December (and January, and February too) has gotten to me, and now I feel like I am coming down with something again! I have an annoying scratchy throat and have been feeling that telltale run down feeling all day. Just what I need in time for Autumn's arrival and the merciful relief from the harshness of Summer.
This had better not be another 2-1/2 month long illness! Anyway, I just have to get through one more installment of the TR - well, two installments if you count the "Where are We Now/Aftermath" installment - and I cannot get sick before I have finished! I'm going to try to run through these replies before I forget! Quote:
Thank you, as always, for all the kind words and support. You will find out about my contact with "M" in the "Where Are We Now/Aftermath" segment, but to answer your question about the text - no. She never replied to it. It was basically only a few minutes after I sent the text that I saw "M" and company heading towards me, and you know what happened from there. I don't think she would have texted me in the first place if not for the fact that "B" posted about being at Soarin' on his Facebook page. I agree - it was very much like mean girls in school. Michele - I think karma will catch up to people in the long run - unfortunately, it is rarely at a time when we get to see it catch up to them, but it happens! Quote:
Of course you'd have more than one person commenting on your TR at a time! In fact, I have seen some unfamiliar names pop out of the shadows to comment on TR's from people who rarely do them. In other words, those same people might not comment on my TR but they will speak up if someone who doesn't normally do TR's does one. So you will probably get a whole crop of lurkers coming out of the woodwork to say things.To multi-quote, all you have to do is click that little button with the quotation marks (right next to the button that actually says Quote) in the bottom right of the posts you want to quote. Click it for each post, then click Reply, and all of the posts you are quoting will appear in the text box! Give it a try! Try quoting some of the people/posts on this page and see what happens! Right now, I have little to no interest in seeing "M" if and when she comes back out here (assuming it's in December again), and I doubt she'd ask me to. I am not going to ask her about it. I am not interested in being part of it. There have been soooooo many incidents with her in the past - this was just yet another one. It's beyond the point of thinking anything will ever change. At a certain point, I guess we all realize that certain people just bring us more stress than anything else - and no one needs extra stress! Quote:
Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and words. I know I certainly have my flaws too, and I'm sure I have irritated more than a few friends over the years, BUT I always take people's feeling into consideration, I always say thank you, I always try to do things for them, I don't stab them in the back, I don't totally flake out on them without a word, etc. I really think that "M" is just not that considerate of others. She doesn't want to be inconvenienced, but it doesn't mean much to her if she inconveniences them. Quote:
Changing the plans was bad enough. It wasn't like "M" and I had never discussed going to Calkifornia Adventure - she knew that it meant a lot to me to show her around that park. So the fact that she decided to give "V" that privilege and not even include me in the plan was pretty mean. But then, to send that passive-aggressive text message (only after she realized that "B" had posted their whereabouts on Facebook and I may have seen it) and ignore me as they all walked by was just beyond reason. I have had plenty of time to process it - although, when I have to recap certain things, sometimes I will get annoyed just thinking about them! This is why I am relieved that this TR is finally almost at an end. I can start thinking about making another DLR holiday plan of some sort and having a better time!![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Now...to go find some DayQuil...
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2012 Christmas Time Trip Reports![]() CHRISTMAS PHOTOS OF CARS LAND & BUENA VISTA ST. - 11/12/12 (begins on Page 222/Post #3328; ends on Page 231/Post #3464) "Candlelight & Cannonballs! (MANY MARDI GRAS MASK PICTURES!) -12/9/12 - 12/12/12" - begins on Page 235/Post #3524 (in progress!) "The Return of the Masked Mouse & His Diabolical Twin- Halloween Time 2011" (begins on Page 145/Post #2170; ends on Page 155/Post #2312) 2012 Catalina Island Trip Report![]() Catalina Island/Avalon - My Solo Day Trip, in Photos (LOTS of Photos!)- 7/21/12 |
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