What is a typical wedding gift ($) these days? - Page 4 - The DIS Discussion Forums

Mom_Rides · 09-08-2012, 10:39 PM

If A couple followed the "cover your plate" rule for our wedding, we would've received $15.50 per couple...LOL! We're in the Midwest and received between $25-$50 in our envelopes. The most we received (outside of my grandparents gift) was $250 and that was from my uncle and aunt.

We give between $25-$50 depending on relationship with the couple. DHs coworker got married in June and we gave $25. My friend is getting married in 2 weeks and we will give the same to them.

CraftyMommy · 09-08-2012, 11:33 PM

You also have to consider the income bracket the wedding couple and their family and friends are in. Someone who lives in the middle of nowhere and doesn't make much money might get $25 from the average guest. Someone who has grown up in an upper-middle class family might be more used to getting $100 or more from their guests. So take the income bracket into consideration. I think that means more than the state you live in.

UrnAsh · 09-08-2012, 11:57 PM

I give a nice picture frame with 50 bucks in it.

Bribrittmom · 09-09-2012, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissDaisyofTexas

We got married in Texas 8 years ago. I'd say the average gift or check we received was around $50. Younger guests who were just out of college averaged more like $25, some of our parents' older friends gave us $100.

We typically give a $50 gift if we don't know the couple that well. If they are good friends more like $100.

This is the typical amount in our area,northern Ohio.

cornflake · 09-09-2012, 01:47 AM

$150-250, more if closer fam/friend.

That said, the couple surely know their guests. Even if you're in an area where that's the norm, a college-age guest or a guest just starting out, or a couple invited who have been struggling due to layoffs or who just don't happen to be well-off, or etc., no one would expect to be giving at the same level.

pharmjenn · 09-09-2012, 02:07 AM

I went to my first wedding in years in the spring, for a coworker. We work in an environment where some people make around $40,000/yr, and others make up to $130,000/yr.
I gave her some items off her registry totalling around $60, plus a $100 gift card to a local dine-in theatre. I only paid $25 for the card, so total less than $100 OOP.
She was so excited and thankful by the amount I gave, so I think she must have gotten mostly smaller gifts from people.
In the past I had always given around $50, but since my income has increased since I last attended a wedding, I figured my gift could as well.

I have no idea what the "norm" is out here in the San Francisco area

Caseheidi · 09-09-2012, 02:36 AM

I find a couple thought processes interesting in this thread:
1) you give a more expensive gift for a wedding then a shower. Why? In my opinion, both are to help set up the home.
2) The amount spent is per person giving the gift? Twice as much from a couple then a single. Again, why? We are a single income family. Why should we be expected to pay more then an individual?
Weddings have become so expensive that some people are willing to go into debt for them. And then they expect expensive gifts. Traditionally, the gifts were meant to help the couple set up their new home. In today's society, rarely is are a couple not already established and already living together. I still agree with celebrating with a gift, but do they really need as much? And what about those who are on the 2nd or 3rd wedding? I have really appreciated couples who are already established making a point to ask guests to not give gifts, or instead to donate to charity. It just makes more sense.

triciari · 09-09-2012, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UrnAsh

I give a nice picture frame with 50 bucks in it.

That's a great idea!

mad madam mim78 · 09-09-2012, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caseheidi

I find a couple thought processes interesting in this thread:
1) you give a more expensive gift for a wedding then a shower. Why? In my opinion, both are to help set up the home.
2) The amount spent is per person giving the gift? Twice as much from a couple then a single. Again, why? We are a single income family. Why should we be expected to pay more then an individual?
Weddings have become so expensive that some people are willing to go into debt for them. And then they expect expensive gifts. Traditionally, the gifts were meant to help the couple set up their new home. In today's society, rarely is are a couple not already established and already living together. I still agree with celebrating with a gift, but do they really need as much? And what about those who are on the 2nd or 3rd wedding? I have really appreciated couples who are already established making a point to ask guests to not give gifts, or instead to donate to charity. It just makes more sense.

I'm with you on alot of stuff. I guess it's just in my nature to be a bit pessimistic. Starting their LIVES together.......HA! They'll be divorced within 5 years!!!!

I try not to be so negative, but sometimes I can't help it.

MinnieForMe · 09-09-2012, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom_Rides

If A couple followed the "cover your plate" rule for our wedding, we would've received $15.50 per couple...LOL! We're in the Midwest and received between $25-$50 in our envelopes. The most we received (outside of my grandparents gift) was $250 and that was from my uncle and aunt.

We give between $25-$50 depending on relationship with the couple. DHs coworker got married in June and we gave $25. My friend is getting married in 2 weeks and we will give the same to them.

I never realized before this thread how different the cost of living was from the Midwest to the Northeast! The average child's birthday party cost $15-20 and that gets you a pizza, soda, ice cream per kid. The only way here to host a wedding for $15 per person would be to have it in your backyard and I'm fairly certain it would still cost more.

Is the cost of living in the Midwest cheaper across the board? Housing, food, entertainment, taxes??????

We are always trying to find the best area to retire!

wgeo · 09-09-2012, 08:14 AM

I'm just chiming in because I see a lot of people saying "this is the normal for my part of the country". In reality in every part of the country you will find huge differences in what is considered "normal" depending on just what part of the city you are in. So really what we should be saying is "this is the normal for my part of the country and my economic bracket".

My DH happens to be a pastor and we often get invited to the receptions. These weddings all happen in the same city and it is amazing how different they are! Just in a few week span, we had a huge wedding, lots of attendants, country club reception and also a very small wedding, 1 attendant, reception at the local park where the kids could swim in the free pool. I am certain that the "normal" gift received at these weddings was not anywhere close to the other. My DH and I have decided on a amount that we are comfortable giving and that's what we give no matter what "type" of wedding it is. I'm sure for the park wedding we were on the high end, and I'm sure for the country club wedding we were on the low end.

Sorry for the long post! My point is, figure out what you are ok with and go with that and have a good time!

smileymomof3 · 09-09-2012, 08:33 AM

$200-$300 from a couple ...in suburban Ny... Outside NYC.

Eastern · 09-09-2012, 09:30 AM

When I got married 20 years ago, the 'average gift' for NJ/suburban NYC was ~$100-150 per couple, yet I got lots of gifts below that amount.

Now we are going to friends' and relatives' weddings and ~$200 per couple is considered 'average' from what I have been told.

We recently gave $250 at a wedding for a coworker's child, and $200 for a bar mitzvah of another coworker's child. Neither one sent a thank you card. In both cases, I had been told that it was 'not enough' to give (by friends I consulted, not by the gift recipients). Go figure

disney55 · 09-09-2012, 09:34 AM

We live just north of Boston and summer in the Maine woods. When we have a wedding to attend we take the long way, up the coast to Thomaston Maine.
We stop at the Prison store, and purchase a breadboard and a small cedar box that resembles a mini hope chest. For the shower I give the breadboard with $25 - $50, depending on relation. The box is given for wedding gift with $50 - $100 and a christmas ornament in it.
Both the board and box are stamped on back "MADE IN MAINE STATE PRISON" which always adds interesting conversation.

Years later they will not remember how much money we gave, but they always remember the board and box.
All in all this works great ....
I get the beautiful drive up the coast,
one-stop shopping..no registries..costly wrapping...choices
Couple get memorable gifts, that are beautifully made, w/out costing arm/leg
Maine Prison System gets a boost.

cathynmichigan · 09-09-2012, 10:13 AM

We have a wedding for a niece this month and I wasn't sure what to give her either. We live in Michigan and it is a backyard small wedding (30 people) at most with a larger reception at a hall. But for the food she has asked everyone coming to bring a dish to pass (she called it a potluck) and asked us if we could provide the beverages for everyone also. So that being said I really wasn't sure what to give. Any advice?

09-08-2012, 10:39 PM	#46
Mom_Rides DIS Veteran Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Too far away from WDW... Posts: 682	If A couple followed the "cover your plate" rule for our wedding, we would've received $15.50 per couple...LOL! We're in the Midwest and received between $25-$50 in our envelopes. The most we received (outside of my grandparents gift) was $250 and that was from my uncle and aunt. We give between $25-$50 depending on relationship with the couple. DHs coworker got married in June and we gave $25. My friend is getting married in 2 weeks and we will give the same to them. __________________ Mom - Wife to Dad Mommy to DD5 - Stepmom to DSS -16 & DSS - 11 . Our first trip! June 5-11, 2010 @ POR A short trip just for our Princess! April 17-19, 2012 @ POP

09-09-2012, 02:36 AM	#52
Caseheidi DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Hillsboro, OR Posts: 692	I find a couple thought processes interesting in this thread: 1) you give a more expensive gift for a wedding then a shower. Why? In my opinion, both are to help set up the home. 2) The amount spent is per person giving the gift? Twice as much from a couple then a single. Again, why? We are a single income family. Why should we be expected to pay more then an individual? Weddings have become so expensive that some people are willing to go into debt for them. And then they expect expensive gifts. Traditionally, the gifts were meant to help the couple set up their new home. In today's society, rarely is are a couple not already established and already living together. I still agree with celebrating with a gift, but do they really need as much? And what about those who are on the 2nd or 3rd wedding? I have really appreciated couples who are already established making a point to ask guests to not give gifts, or instead to donate to charity. It just makes more sense. __________________ Heidi DLR - Aug 1980, Aug 1985, May 1988, April 2002, Dec 2002, Dec 2004, Oct 2012 WDW - July/Aug 2001 (Honeymoon!), Oct 2004, Sept 2005, May 2006, Dec 2007, Dec 2008, Oct 2011

09-09-2012, 08:14 AM	#56
wgeo That's the kind of day where you can't open your mouth without a song jumping right out of it! Join Date: May 2011 Location: Southern WI Posts: 444	I'm just chiming in because I see a lot of people saying "this is the normal for my part of the country". In reality in every part of the country you will find huge differences in what is considered "normal" depending on just what part of the city you are in. So really what we should be saying is "this is the normal for my part of the country and my economic bracket". My DH happens to be a pastor and we often get invited to the receptions. These weddings all happen in the same city and it is amazing how different they are! Just in a few week span, we had a huge wedding, lots of attendants, country club reception and also a very small wedding, 1 attendant, reception at the local park where the kids could swim in the free pool. I am certain that the "normal" gift received at these weddings was not anywhere close to the other. My DH and I have decided on a amount that we are comfortable giving and that's what we give no matter what "type" of wedding it is. I'm sure for the park wedding we were on the high end, and I'm sure for the country club wedding we were on the low end. Sorry for the long post! My point is, figure out what you are ok with and go with that and have a good time! __________________ Something Feels Funny, I Must Be Thinking Too Hard. Winnie the Pooh DH me DS 9 DD 7 WDW Trips: 1982, 1987, 1994, 2011, 2012

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09-08-2012, 11:33 PM	#47
CraftyMommy Mouseketeer Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 250	You also have to consider the income bracket the wedding couple and their family and friends are in. Someone who lives in the middle of nowhere and doesn't make much money might get $25 from the average guest. Someone who has grown up in an upper-middle class family might be more used to getting $100 or more from their guests. So take the income bracket into consideration. I think that means more than the state you live in.

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09-08-2012, 11:57 PM	#48
UrnAsh Earning My Ears Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Kentucky Posts: 4	I give a nice picture frame with 50 bucks in it.

09-09-2012, 01:47 AM	#50
cornflake DIS Veteran Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 6,656	$150-250, more if closer fam/friend. That said, the couple surely know their guests. Even if you're in an area where that's the norm, a college-age guest or a guest just starting out, or a couple invited who have been struggling due to layoffs or who just don't happen to be well-off, or etc., no one would expect to be giving at the same level.

09-09-2012, 02:07 AM	#51
pharmjenn Mouseketeer Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 382	I went to my first wedding in years in the spring, for a coworker. We work in an environment where some people make around $40,000/yr, and others make up to $130,000/yr. I gave her some items off her registry totalling around $60, plus a $100 gift card to a local dine-in theatre. I only paid $25 for the card, so total less than $100 OOP. She was so excited and thankful by the amount I gave, so I think she must have gotten mostly smaller gifts from people. In the past I had always given around $50, but since my income has increased since I last attended a wedding, I figured my gift could as well. I have no idea what the "norm" is out here in the San Francisco area

09-09-2012, 08:33 AM	#57
smileymomof3 Mouseketeer Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Hudson Valley Region, NY Posts: 432	$200-$300 from a couple ...in suburban Ny... Outside NYC.

09-09-2012, 09:30 AM	#58
Eastern DIS Veteran Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 750	When I got married 20 years ago, the 'average gift' for NJ/suburban NYC was ~$100-150 per couple, yet I got lots of gifts below that amount. Now we are going to friends' and relatives' weddings and ~$200 per couple is considered 'average' from what I have been told. We recently gave $250 at a wedding for a coworker's child, and $200 for a bar mitzvah of another coworker's child. Neither one sent a thank you card. In both cases, I had been told that it was 'not enough' to give (by friends I consulted, not by the gift recipients). Go figure

09-09-2012, 09:34 AM	#59
disney55 Mouseketeer Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 97	We live just north of Boston and summer in the Maine woods. When we have a wedding to attend we take the long way, up the coast to Thomaston Maine. We stop at the Prison store, and purchase a breadboard and a small cedar box that resembles a mini hope chest. For the shower I give the breadboard with $25 - $50, depending on relation. The box is given for wedding gift with $50 - $100 and a christmas ornament in it. Both the board and box are stamped on back "MADE IN MAINE STATE PRISON" which always adds interesting conversation. Years later they will not remember how much money we gave, but they always remember the board and box. All in all this works great .... I get the beautiful drive up the coast, one-stop shopping..no registries..costly wrapping...choices Couple get memorable gifts, that are beautifully made, w/out costing arm/leg Maine Prison System gets a boost.

09-09-2012, 10:13 AM	#60
cathynmichigan Earning My Ears Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 19	We have a wedding for a niece this month and I wasn't sure what to give her either. We live in Michigan and it is a backyard small wedding (30 people) at most with a larger reception at a hall. But for the food she has asked everyone coming to bring a dish to pass (she called it a potluck) and asked us if we could provide the beverages for everyone also. So that being said I really wasn't sure what to give. Any advice?