Spending money... - Page 8 - The DIS Discussion Forums

Maggie'sMom · 05-01-2012, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

omg...really...do you not understand...i'm asking if you would give money to your children going with their dad to pick up a souvenir for the other children the mother has at home (childern from a different father)....

No. You are the one who is failing to understand. Your stepdaughters will be with their dad. There is no need for their mom to send money with them. Period!

Nancyg56 · 05-01-2012, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

you wouldn't want your daughter to bring something back for your kids that didn't get to go diseny with their dad...

You are making this way too complicated. The children's father is taking them to Disney. You may be paying for it but make no mistake, they are going with their father. You can make the dynamic of your family.............and these girls are your family........positive or you can make them struggle. The girls know their siblings are not going on this trip, they know that in two families they are different. If you really want to create strong bonds you will stop trying to showcase the differences between your own child and the children your husband created with another woman and make those kids your own. Offer to shop with them to buy their mom and siblings a gift. Don't make them try to choose. Stop trying to make their mother conform to whatever you have decided is proper. It is petty.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggie'sMom

No. You are the one who is failing to understand. Your stepdaughters will be with their dad. There is no need for their mom to send money with them. Period!

Exactly. You have tried to make these children less than your child in their father'e eyes as well as their eyes. And I must say that I did not come to this conclusion from this thread alone. I remember your previous thread and while I did not look for it I remember the tone you took in regards to "having" to take these kids.

mvazul · 05-01-2012, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

well alot has changed and now we get them every weekend because they wanted to be with us more...

and thats kinda being a stalker don't ya think...and i have not complained about them at all...so i don't know where your getting that from...

Well, then, I apologize and am happy for the girls that they get to see their father more often. However, I do stand by my comments that I feel you are being petty. And will drive a huge wedge between all of you if you don't get over whatever issues you have with their mother.

Most definitely not stalking you. I remembered other posts you had written. I did a check to make sure it was you before I commented.

mvazul · 05-01-2012, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancyg56

You are making this way too complicated. The children's father is taking them to Disney. You may be paying for it but make no mistake, they are going with their father. You can make the dynamic of your family.............and these girls are your family........positive or you can make them struggle. The girls know their siblings are not going on this trip, they know that in two families they are different. If you really want to create strong bonds you will stop trying to showcase the differences between your own child and the children your husband created with another woman and make those kids your own. Offer to shop with them to buy their mom and siblings a gift. Don't make them try to choose. Stop trying to make their mother conform to whatever you have decided is proper. It is petty.

Exactly. You have tried to make these children less than your child in their father'e eyes as well as their eyes. And I must say that I did not come to this conclusion from this thread alone. I remember your previous thread and while I did not look for it I remember the tone you took in regards to "having" to take these kids.

Very, very well said!

declansdad · 05-01-2012, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

you wouldn't want your daughter to bring something back for your kids that didn't get to go diseny with their dad...

I thought your husband was the girls' father? Are you trying to say he and his exwife have kids that live with her that won't be going with you?

And how old are the kids that are going with you?

duffy · 05-01-2012, 07:18 AM

Wonder what the father has to say about all of this? He seems to be very disconnected from all of his children: isn't paying anything for this trip, but is willing to go along for free. Can't he give some of his money to the girls? He isn't spending any money for his own trip, why not use it for them?

(I find it very odd that you are careful to distinguish that you are paying the $4,000 that the trip costs, all yourself, by the way. Why isn't he putting money to the trip?)

Or is that not the point? Is the point that when the girls take out the $20 bill to pay for the magnet, that the money came from their biological mother, and not from him? Is every dime that he spends on his girls, one less dime spent on your son?

STAYC18 · 05-01-2012, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancyg56

You are making this way too complicated. The children's father is taking them to Disney. You may be paying for it but make no mistake, they are going with their father. You can make the dynamic of your family.............and these girls are your family........positive or you can make them struggle. The girls know their siblings are not going on this trip, they know that in two families they are different. If you really want to create strong bonds you will stop trying to showcase the differences between your own child and the children your husband created with another woman and make those kids your own. Offer to shop with them to buy their mom and siblings a gift. Don't make them try to choose. Stop trying to make their mother conform to whatever you have decided is proper. It is petty.

Exactly. You have tried to make these children less than your child in their father'e eyes as well as their eyes. And I must say that I did not come to this conclusion from this thread alone. I remember your previous thread and while I did not look for it I remember the tone you took in regards to "having" to take these kids.

How come the children aren't allowed to call me MOM then...i find it bizare that i'm suppose to call the girls "my children" but their not suppose to call me mom...my son calls me mom...

declansdad · 05-01-2012, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

How come the children aren't allowed to call me MOM then...i find it bizare that i'm suppose to call the girls "my children" but their not suppose to call me mom...my son calls me mom...

What in the world are you talking about now?

You have some serious issues with you husband and his ex. UNfortunately it sounds as if you are taking it out on these kids.

Allison · 05-01-2012, 07:26 AM

Wow. Your last posts shows a lack of maturity. As a biological mother and a stepmother, you really need to get past that for the good of all the children involved and your marriage. With that kind of attitude, you may very well be the ex-wife some day too.

Maggie'sMom · 05-01-2012, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

How come the children aren't allowed to call me MOM then...i find it bizare that i'm suppose to call the girls "my children" but their not suppose to call me mom...my son calls me mom...

Who has said they can't? My DD calls her stepmom her mom. And I'm happy that she feels she comfortable doing so.

STAYC18 · 05-01-2012, 07:34 AM

oh i can't use the words step-children, but I can only be labled as a step-mom...

yay that's fair....

STAYC18 · 05-01-2012, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggie'sMom

Who has said they can't? My DD calls her stepmom her mom. And I'm happy that she feels she comfortable doing so.

their mother...my oldest DAUGHTER said that i was her second mom once and the mother flipped out on me saying you will never be their mother and they are never to call you their mom...

all i said was ok

Mickey Fliers · 05-01-2012, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

oh i can't use the words step-children, but I can only be labled as a step-mom...

yay that's fair....

Life isn't fair. They are the child. You are the adult. Start acting like it.

Allison · 05-01-2012, 07:58 AM

Who cares about "fair" when it comes to proper parenting? Believe me, it's not about fair when you are a parent.

mjkacmom · 05-01-2012, 08:10 AM

Honestly, I would have to have a pretty good and strong relationship with my xDH's new wife to not be hurt if my kids called her mom (hypothetically speaking, since I'm married to DH). DH calls his stepmother mom, but his real mom passed away when he was little. His older sisters call her by her first name - love and respect her a lot - but they felt disloyal calling another woman mom, and their stepmother is fine with it.

I don't call my IL's mom and dad, either. They are the best IL's anyone could possibly have, but I only have one mom and dad.

05-01-2012, 07:26 AM	#114
Allison - Join date March 2004 - Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 10,667	Wow. Your last posts shows a lack of maturity. As a biological mother and a stepmother, you really need to get past that for the good of all the children involved and your marriage. With that kind of attitude, you may very well be the ex-wife some day too. __________________ LIFE IS GOOD

05-01-2012, 07:34 AM	#116
STAYC18 Mouseketeer Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: TAUNTON, MA Posts: 381	oh i can't use the words step-children, but I can only be labled as a step-mom... yay that's fair.... __________________ Saratoga Springs DVC Member!! October 2012 with DH, DS and DSD's all their 1st time...Can't wait hope they like it as much as I do...

05-01-2012, 07:58 AM	#119
Allison - Join date March 2004 - Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 10,667	Who cares about "fair" when it comes to proper parenting? Believe me, it's not about fair when you are a parent. __________________ LIFE IS GOOD

05-01-2012, 08:10 AM	#120
mjkacmom DIS Veteran Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 14,660	Honestly, I would have to have a pretty good and strong relationship with my xDH's new wife to not be hurt if my kids called her mom (hypothetically speaking, since I'm married to DH). DH calls his stepmother mom, but his real mom passed away when he was little. His older sisters call her by her first name - love and respect her a lot - but they felt disloyal calling another woman mom, and their stepmother is fine with it. I don't call my IL's mom and dad, either. They are the best IL's anyone could possibly have, but I only have one mom and dad. __________________ Me DH dd14 ds13 dd10 ds8 dd8

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05-01-2012, 07:18 AM	#111
duffy The Tag Fairy did not give me this tag...I wrote it myself. Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 2,631	Wonder what the father has to say about all of this? He seems to be very disconnected from all of his children: isn't paying anything for this trip, but is willing to go along for free. Can't he give some of his money to the girls? He isn't spending any money for his own trip, why not use it for them? (I find it very odd that you are careful to distinguish that you are paying the $4,000 that the trip costs, all yourself, by the way. Why isn't he putting money to the trip?) Or is that not the point? Is the point that when the girls take out the $20 bill to pay for the magnet, that the money came from their biological mother, and not from him? Is every dime that he spends on his girls, one less dime spent on your son?