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Old 04-27-2012, 08:45 PM   #1
cm4lfie
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when is the right time

This question is "kind" of about Disney.. sorta in that I want to take another trip out there but... my wife and I split back in early Feb. I have had some implied "interest" from some female friends but am nervous to throw my hat back in the dating pool after being married for over 11 years. How long do you think I should wait until I get back in the game? I say Disney related because when I DO start dating, Disney World is def going to be on the agenda, especially because as much as my ex and I went out there, she never really enjoyed it which sucked some of the fun out of it for me. Whether or not I take my 7 year old son along also.... one step at a time I guess.
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:07 PM   #2
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There isn't, of course, any magic length of time. Go out when you think you can go and not make too many comparisons (as in, don't talk about your ex) and when you feel that you want to get to know the person you are with.
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Old 04-28-2012, 05:45 AM   #3
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I'd just add to what the PP said that you should also not be afraid to let your enthusiasm for Disney show through when you do date. Its a part of you and is something they need to know about.
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Old 04-28-2012, 07:16 AM   #4
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There is no set time. It just happens and feels right.
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Old 04-28-2012, 07:35 AM   #5
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So I'm just going to jump right in with a non-Disney perspective. I understand you separated in February, but is the marriage over? Personally, I think you should file for divorce before you start dating someone else. When you are only separated, sometimes there is still that HOPE that things may still fall back into place and you both can work things out. It may be you, your wife, or your son who has that hope, but filing says, "it's really over". Also, it may help clarify things for your 7 year old.

Just my opinion.
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Old 04-28-2012, 07:38 AM   #6
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I disagree with the above posters. There's a scientific formula for this!
It's 14 days for each of your first 3 years of marriage and then 9 for each year after that.
So in your case it's 3x14=42 days + 8x8= 64 days so 106 days.
It's very important to have the date on exactly the 106th day!

Or you could just wait until it felt right .......
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:06 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WebmasterAlex View Post
I disagree with the above posters. There's a scientific formula for this!
It's 14 days for each of your first 3 years of marriage and then 9 for each year after that.
So in your case it's 3x14=42 days + 8x8= 64 days so 106 days.
It's very important to have the date on exactly the 106th day!

Or you could just wait until it felt right .......
I fully agree ....or you could just start today -why waste time
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:50 AM   #8
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Get back on that horse!

Life is to short to dwell.

I was in your situation 8 years ago, and I found my DW.

The first trip we took was to Orlando and we loved it so much, that we now go several times a year. We got engaged on a Disney Cruise and spent our second anniversary in Disneyland Paris!

We did not take my DS the first time we to the World. We took him on the next one, then the next one, then next one...

I am a believer that you define your own destiny and do not let the world define it for you.
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Old 04-28-2012, 12:35 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WebmasterAlex View Post
I disagree with the above posters. There's a scientific formula for this!
It's 14 days for each of your first 3 years of marriage and then 9 for each year after that.
So in your case it's 3x14=42 days + 8x8= 64 days so 106 days.
It's very important to have the date on exactly the 106th day!

Or you could just wait until it felt right .......
If only everything in life had math to point us in the right direction!

OP, no woman with any sense would begin dating a man so recently separated. Marriages sometimes work out. Nobody wants to have their boyfriend leave because he went back to his wife.

I know divorces take a long time. I know it is painful and lonely. But try to concentrate on friendships and let the romance wait. It will happen when it happens.

And when it does happen, don't talk about the divorce or the marriage on your first date. No matter how tempting, it really is a romance killer!

Take your son to WDW. Meet up with DISers on solo trips.

I'm sorry your marriage broke up. I hope good things come your way soon.
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Old 04-30-2012, 08:05 AM   #10
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Some may think it is too long, but I think you should wait a year, starting from the time your divorce is final. You need to time to concentrate on yourself and your relationship with your child.

A calendar year allows you to live singe through all the major holidays, birthdays and aniversaries.

Once you are ready go on the singles board and find a Disney nut like yourself.

Good luck!!!!
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Old 04-30-2012, 11:32 AM   #11
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You mentioned your wife and you split in Feb but you didn't say if that is when you separated or if you divorced. Since you have to be separated for one year prior to getting your divorce (I also live in Maryland and am separated so I am familar), I'd recommend getting your divorce before dating so it doesn't come back to haunt you when you sign the final docs and so it doesn't confuse your son.

I love Swank's idea about the single's board so you can meet someone who has the same interests as you. Give it time - and some prayer. No need to rush. It'll all happen in good time.
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Old 04-30-2012, 12:26 PM   #12
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It seems a little soon to me personally. You have only been split up a few months.

When you do start dating again, just realize dating is a long way from vacationing with someone and even more so to involve your son in in a vacation.

Take your time.
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:13 AM   #13
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I've been there so here is what worked for me. I was married for 7 years when my ex and I separated. We had no children. I went on a few dates after about 4 months but in my mind, it was just to "try things out". I was never serious or intimate with anyone. It was about a year after that I felt comfortable to see someone more seriously.

I have also dated separated/divorced men. For the most part, I was only confortable dating a father if he wanted to take time to get to know each other before I was introduced to children. This means that no one gets too attached to the child and vice versa.

But it's about feeling comfortable and ready. Just be careful not to rush into anything because you're feeling "alone". There are some people out there who just can't be alone. I think one should be comfortable with being alone before venturing out again. No girl wants to be a safety blanket
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