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Old 04-26-2012, 07:59 PM   #16
momto2sweeties
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Originally Posted by STAYC18 View Post
So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...
why would anyone be purchasing souvenirs for them? If they personally want something from Disney World then it is their job to provide the child with money. It is the child's father's job to buy souvenirs for his child who is actually going on the trip.
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:30 PM   #17
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When I take my kids to Disney, I don't give them any money (unless a GC for a holiday), and I wouldn't give them money if anyone else was bringing them either. I would for sure give them some extra chores and encourage them to save gift money, etc. Last year, although the girls each had around $100 saved, they only spent about $25 each while they were there (they each bought a cheap jewelry box and princess stuffed toy which are still used daily). DS spent more - he built a car at build a ride, but he can save money better than most adults (he has actually saved up and purchased his own ipad).

As far as gifts for other people, if you think that is important, then I would encourage them to do so regardless of whether their mother contributes. You could discuss an amount ahead of time and set that aside (pulled out of their spending money). Another option would be to discuss just getting them each a post card. Just as much thought could go into finding the perfect postcard as any other gift.
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:01 PM   #18
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ok i'm not gonna worry about...i doubt she'll give them anything and if they wanna spend their spending money so be it...but what they have is what they have...i'm sure we will buy them a t-shirt and some ears, so they should have enough...
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:49 AM   #19
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I agree with giving them their set amount and letting them spend it as they like. Maybe they will want to bring something back for their family, maybe they won't.

I have no opinion on who should be funding souvenirs. After spending 4k on a trip, squabbling over a few bucks for souvenirs seems silly.

I don't know, you seem to resent the $ you are paying for the trip. Maybe you should talk to your dh about contributing more. I don't think it will be a fun trip if there is undercurrents of resentment.
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Old 04-27-2012, 02:03 AM   #20
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When we went, it was me DH, DS and DD (actually step-daughter). But, my DD lives with us 10 months out of the year. She didn't buy anything for her mom, brother or sister- but she never asked to. If she had, I probably would have helped her buy a little something for each of them. Nothing major, but something so that she could give it to them when she saw them again. Let the kids get some of the free sticker DVC gives out in the parks, a post card or two and maybe some stuff like that. It's cheap and it still shows that the kiddos thought about the others while they were on vacation. Maybe they could have Mickey sign a postcard and mail it while they are down there- that would be cute too!
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:38 AM   #21
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So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...
I am not a step parent nor do my children have step parents (still married) BUT I was a step child and this is what I "think" I would do:

If my kids were going with DH, yes I would sent them money but I wouldn't expect him to send money if I was taking the kids.

If I had step kids I would buy for them the same as I would my own kids. If the kids were older I would also give them money to buy whatever they wanted, even if it included buying something for their mom.

When it comes to step kids, this is my rule of thumb..... Treat them the way you would want a step parent to treat your own kid in the same situation. No one know if divorce will happen and your kid/kids may be in this situation in a few years and I don't think you would like it if the new wife was treating your kids differently.
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Old 04-27-2012, 01:56 PM   #22
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So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...
I'm not sure why you're so hung up on that idea. Put that idea away.

YOU should not be purchasing gifts for people who are neither your relatives nor your friends.

YOU should not be responsible for providing spending money for these children. (And on that note, neither is their mother.)

These kids have 2 parents, right? One of those parents is going on the trip? That parent is responsible for spending money for his kids.

If the children choose to spend the money they are given (by dad, mom, you, grandma, whomever) on gifts, that's a choice, just like spending it on mouse ears or a light saber.

It sounds like you really resent Mom not falling in line with your ideas about how this vacation should be handled. Unfortunately, her obligation to you is... zero. She didn't marry you. The parent who did is the one who is required to meet your requests. You really ought to speak to your husband about providing spending money if you don't want to do so yourself.
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Old 04-27-2012, 02:27 PM   #23
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geeze....sorry...i just would never send my son somewhere with no money no matter who he was with...

i've been going to Disney for years now, way before I meet and married my husband...and all i ever wanted was to be able to take my own child and now I can but that now also includes my husband and his 2 children from a previous relationship...my husband could careless about going his idea of vacation is staying home...sorry not my idea of vacation...so in order for me to go and doing the right thing i have to take the whole family..right? or not go at all..right?...all i asked if the other parent should give the two girls a little bit of money in order to buy the mom and siblings a souvenir...thats all...thank you all and i should have learned my lesson on here by now, don't ever bring up step children, i don't know what is up with you people but you take something and turn it into somthing it is so not...but whatever thanks again
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Old 04-27-2012, 04:57 PM   #24
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geeze....sorry...i just would never send my son somewhere with no money no matter who he was with...

i've been going to Disney for years now, way before I meet and married my husband...and all i ever wanted was to be able to take my own child and now I can but that now also includes my husband and his 2 children from a previous relationship...my husband could careless about going his idea of vacation is staying home...sorry not my idea of vacation...so in order for me to go and doing the right thing i have to take the whole family..right? or not go at all..right?...all i asked if the other parent should give the two girls a little bit of money in order to buy the mom and siblings a souvenir...thats all...thank you all and i should have learned my lesson on here by now, don't ever bring up step children, i don't know what is up with you people but you take something and turn it into somthing it is so not...but whatever thanks again
It's not that you brought up your step-children, but more the way your posts portray your feelings about your step-children. You are distinguishing between "my child" and "his children". When you marry someone with children, those children become a part of your family and should be treated as such. You and your husband are taking your children (all of them) to Disney. It is your decision that you will be taking your entire family to Disney. As such, it is not the responsibility of your step-children's mother to provide them with spending money, unless she is specifically asking that the children buy her something while they are on the trip.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:16 PM   #25
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ok I am pretty sure I said we were giving them spending money so not sure why no one saw that and assumed there father wasn't covering it or me...and I'm pretty sure I didn't portray any feelings about my step-children other than that i would hate to see them spend most of their spending money on getting their mom and sister and brother something...maybe at first you all thought i wanted the mom to give them all there spending money and my second post clearly stated spending money to buy her and her husband sister and brother souvenirs...all i was asking was if thats something me and my husband would be obligated to purchase....so if not and the girls don't wanna spend their money on getting them something then we're not gonna worry about it...sorry I have never been thru this before and all i asked for was guidence not to shot down...
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:33 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STAYC18 View Post
geeze....sorry...i just would never send my son somewhere with no money no matter who he was with...

i've been going to Disney for years now, way before I meet and married my husband...and all i ever wanted was to be able to take my own child and now I can but that now also includes my husband and his 2 children from a previous relationship...my husband could careless about going his idea of vacation is staying home...sorry not my idea of vacation...so in order for me to go and doing the right thing i have to take the whole family..right? or not go at all..right?...all i asked if the other parent should give the two girls a little bit of money in order to buy the mom and siblings a souvenir...thats all...thank you all and i should have learned my lesson on here by now, don't ever bring up step children, i don't know what is up with you people but you take something and turn it into somthing it is so not...but whatever thanks again
I totally agree with you I also would NEVER send my child anywhere with out money! Ive also posted on my views about step children and really do not understand some of the views when threads about step-children come up!
the same poster will shot you down for treating the child like you own when they are NOT yours,
and then still shot you down when you call them his/her children
It really grates on me. My children are treated as if they are my hubbys even though they have another dad thats in the picture,He would never not take my twins on holiday or what ever because they are not his and I would never allow him to treat them different,and my kids do all the things they do because my Dh pays for everything for them!........
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:35 PM   #27
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Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....
I don't give them spending money when they go with me

They are required to budget money for things they want.

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Old 04-27-2012, 06:54 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by STAYC18 View Post
geeze....sorry...i just would never send my son somewhere with no money no matter who he was with...

i've been going to Disney for years now, way before I meet and married my husband...and all i ever wanted was to be able to take my own child and now I can but that now also includes my husband and his 2 children from a previous relationship...my husband could careless about going his idea of vacation is staying home...sorry not my idea of vacation...so in order for me to go and doing the right thing i have to take the whole family..right? or not go at all..right?...all i asked if the other parent should give the two girls a little bit of money in order to buy the mom and siblings a souvenir...thats all...thank you all and i should have learned my lesson on here by now, don't ever bring up step children, i don't know what is up with you people but you take something and turn it into somthing it is so not...but whatever thanks again
all those years going to WDW, did I think I would marry someone with kids...No...so yeah i can take my son but i also have to take my step-children...did i marry someone who is a Disney fanatic like me..NO...I bought into DVC years ago hoping one day i would have a family to pass it down too...if i ended up never having a family then I would make sure I was still able to go commando at 80 years old....Could i just take my son and leave my husband home...i sure could...but am I...NO...
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:57 PM   #29
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So I should purchase the souvies for their mother, step dad and half sister and brother...
No, you should give the kids spending money and then it is THEIRS to spend however they choose.
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:09 PM   #30
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No, you should give the kids spending money and then it is THEIRS to spend however they choose.
thank you...thats all i'm looking for a nice simple answer, but everyone has over analyze everything and make out to be Cinderella's wicked step-mother....
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