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Old 02-29-2012, 02:46 PM   #1
Tinkerbellie16
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I'm meeting my brother's beau!

My brother just let me know that not only will he be joining the family at Disneyworld this summer, but his beau is coming too (that's what he called him). My brother lives in Japan and we rarely see him but once a year. This will be the first time I've ever met one of his boyfriends. He came out to me 2 decades ago but not to the rest of our family until later. My mom was not happy when she found out but she has no desire to lose a son over it. My other siblings were mostly fine except for one of my brothers (who converted to Mormon a few years back) but he also has no desire to lose his brother over his personal feelings. My (gay) brother did tell my mom he was bringing his boyfriend and she said it was fine. Anyway - that's the preamble.

I have a few questions for me and for my brother -

Do you have good experiences at Disney? Not necessarily from other guests, but from CMs?

My kids LOVE their uncle. I have told them that their uncle likes other men like dad and I like each other. I don't think they 'get' it because they are kids. Any advice on when they ask questions about their uncle's boyfriend?

We will have my other siblings there as well as their kids too. Any advice for me so I don't do or say anything foolish in front of my brother's boyfriend? I don't care about my brother, he knows I'm a fool

Any other advice? Or any suggestions that I should pass on to my brother about Disney with his boyfriend?

Thanks for letting me post and ask!
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:25 PM   #2
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They loves 'mos at WDW, I think half the staff are gay anyways. You'll be fine, have fun and enjoy spending time with your family
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:27 PM   #3
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I'm so happy for you! It's awesome that you'll be able to spend time with your brother. My sisters are just a 12 hour drive from me, but I feel like I never see them any more.

I'm sorry that I don't have much advice for you as my kids have been around gay men regularly since they were babies, so there really weren't a lot of questions from them. I think kids most often just reflect their parents attitudes on race and gender issues until they get into high school (and sometimes they never develop their own opinions, just mirror what they've been taught). So just being a good example for your kids is probably the best thing you can do, and answer any questions that they may have honestly.
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:57 PM   #4
Tinkerbellie16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glenpreece View Post
They loves 'mos at WDW, I think half the staff are gay anyways. You'll be fine, have fun and enjoy spending time with your family
That's good to hear! My brother is a - but I'm biased because I helped to raise him! He's the baby

Quote:
Originally Posted by CamoMama View Post
I'm so happy for you! It's awesome that you'll be able to spend time with your brother. My sisters are just a 12 hour drive from me, but I feel like I never see them any more.

I'm sorry that I don't have much advice for you as my kids have been around gay men regularly since they were babies, so there really weren't a lot of questions from them. I think kids most often just reflect their parents attitudes on race and gender issues until they get into high school (and sometimes they never develop their own opinions, just mirror what they've been taught). So just being a good example for your kids is probably the best thing you can do, and answer any questions that they may have honestly.
Thanks! I hope I am a good example and I appreciate the feedback!
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:00 PM   #5
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Some people estimate at least half of all male CMs in the parks are gay. You'll get no issue from cast about a gay couple.

If the kids are teens or pre-teens, they ought to understand "boyfriend," and if they're younger, they're not likely to ask unless you make a big deal out of it.

Just be yourself; anything else is too much work.
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:32 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrGaellon View Post
Just be yourself; anything else is too much work.
Love this advice!
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:12 AM   #7
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It sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about.

1. You love your brother.
2. Your children love their uncle.

If you and your children act out of love, you will have a wonderful time with your brother and his man.

I understand your concern about your other family members, but you can't control their behavior. Don't borrow trouble. They already know what to expect. They know your brother will be there with his beau. If there was going to be a problem you would have already discovered it by now.

The great thing about WDW is that you don't have to all be tethered together at all times. You all can do separate things and then gather together for some shared experiences with one another. It's especially true in this age of mobile phones. Not hanging out together 24-7 will go a long way at relieving the pressure.

Remember, every one is on vacation and everyone wants to have a good time.
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:20 AM   #8
Tinkerbellie16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DouglasE View Post
It sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about.

1. You love your brother.
2. Your children love their uncle.

If you and your children act out of love, you will have a wonderful time with your brother and his man.

I understand your concern about your other family members, but you can't control their behavior. Don't borrow trouble. They already know what to expect. They know your brother will be there with his beau. If there was going to be a problem you would have already discovered it by now.

The great thing about WDW is that you don't have to all be tethered together at all times. You all can do separate things and then gather together for some shared experiences with one another. It's especially true in this age of mobile phones. Not hanging out together 24-7 will go a long way at relieving the pressure.

Remember, every one is on vacation and everyone wants to have a good time.
Thank you. I don't want to overthink anything and my family is really decent and cool. I will bet $100 we have a blow out and it will be over...where to eat
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Old 04-10-2012, 07:37 AM   #9
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Couple things.

My boyfriend has been around longer than both of my nephews. All they know him as is Uncle Tim. They know we come as a pair and there is nothing strange about it. I really praise my sisters for how they are raising their kids, its honest and refreshing.

I am in my late 20's and have been to Disney with my boyfriend and extended family at least 4 times. We have never experienced any type of negativity. I recommend that everyone be themselves, enjoy the atmosphere, and enjoy the time you get to be with family.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:42 PM   #10
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Congratulations, i am very happy for you and your brother!!!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:45 PM   #11
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Tinkerbellie, if you are still listening.

I'm a "gay" uncle with young nieces and nephews.

Trick is always be honest and be yourself.

As you probably know, kids are usually smarter than we think and if we do not make a big deal of things, then they probably won't either.
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Old 04-14-2012, 12:39 AM   #12
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congratulations bro! you made it!
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Old 04-14-2012, 05:19 AM   #13
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I think you'll be surprised at how they'll just accept it without question. My daughter had a lesbian teacher in year 4 and we ran into her and her girlfriend shopping one day and she introduced my daughter and I to her girlfriend as you would anybody in your life just normal like no big announcement or anything. My daughter didn't even raise an eyebrow or question it at all. The only time she did was when her teacher got pregnant she asked me how that happened when the teacher doesn't have a boyfriend and you need a boy to make you pregnant. I couldn't answer that one and just told her I wasn't sure and it would probably be a bit rude to ask the teacher a private question like that and we left it at that.

I hope you all have a great time at Disney!
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