Kids headed to College Fall 2012 Check-in

[goofy4tink]

Originally Posted by mvazul

I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?

Not looking down my nose at all!!! You have to do what is best for your family...as does everyone else.

I have to ask here....are all of you still taking your college kids as a deduction come tax time??? When my ds got his first BA and went off to work, we stopped taking him as a deduction. He planned to continue his education a year or so later. When he did, he was then considered independent..so qualified for more 'free' money. My suggestion to those families that aren't planning on helping their kids out is to keep them off your tax filings. If they are off for a certain amount of time, the kids can then be independent.

My dh and I consider it our responsibility to help our dd with her college costs. Not 100% but some. I firmly believe that every college graduate should finish school with some debt! Not $100,00 but some. That's why we are automatically paying some each year...actually taking our tax refund....and then allowing dd to get a cosigner and take out loans for the rest. Now, that could leave her with close to $100,000 in loans after 4 years!! But, that won't happen. We will be using some money from the sale of our home in the next few years. Then, we will be saving more as we go along and that way we can make some lump payments into her loans. And then, we will give her x amount each month to help her pay those loan payments. Hopefully, when she graduates from college she won't have more than the $25,000 she has incurred in subsidized/unsubsidized loans and then maybe another $30,000 from loans with that cosigner.
It's not easy. And yes, it's 'her' education. And she knows she will have to get a job to pay for that education. But here's the thing...if a child has to pay 100% of their education, they are going to have a very hard time paying for it......a large part of their paycheck will go to those loans. Yes, there are cheaper schools..community colleges, junior colleges, state schools. But sometimes those schools don't offer what the student needs. Or they will have to start at a community college (or other cheaper alternative) and then take their gen ed classes and transfer to a more expensive school as a junior.

There is no one answer that fits all situations. I will say that my ex had agreed to pay for our ds's college costs. He had taken ds as a deduction for years, so we thought that was only fair. Well...ds got into a bit of trouble and that's all the ex needed. He immediately stopped paying tuition costs. It wasn't anything huge...and it was dealt with. But, now ds had no way to pay for his last two years of college. So, my new dh and I had to pick up those payments. The last year of college I was making college tuition payments as well as preschool payments...it was a bit weird!!!