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Old 04-03-2012, 12:30 PM   #31
JBurke
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My DD is going off to college in the fall.
She was excepted into all the schools she applied to and has chosen Illinois State where she was accepted into the nursing program as a freshman.

Unfornately, didnt get much help through FAFSA, just the student loans and she got one scholarship from the university. Waiting on news from a few other scholarships she applied to.

Even though its a state school, Illinois state school prices are high! Its going to be a stretch to pay for it.
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Old 04-03-2012, 12:32 PM   #32
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My DD is going off to college in the fall.
She was excepted into all the schools she applied to and has chosen Illinois State where she was accepted into the nursing program as a freshman.

Unfornately, didnt get much help through FAFSA, just the student loans and she got one scholarship from the university. Waiting on news from a few other scholarships she applied to.

Even though its a state school, Illinois state school prices are high! Its going to be a stretch to pay for it.
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:26 PM   #33
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I will be going to college this fall I have a few schools to choose from still, and I honestly am still very confused. It's between University of Delaware and Clemson University, both for environmental engineering.
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:52 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by jbcheerchick93 View Post
I will be going to college this fall I have a few schools to choose from still, and I honestly am still very confused. It's between University of Delaware and Clemson University, both for environmental engineering.
I'm old enough to be your mom (my DD is going to college in the fall too) but I'm a Clemson grad and LOVED my years there. I know my experience there is outdated but let me know if you have any questions I could help answer. I do know they have an excellent engineering program though I don't know anything about DE. Good luck with your decision!
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:32 PM   #35
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So, I have a son headed to college in the Fall. We have gotten all of our acceptance and now we are in decision mode. Waiting for the last FA offer.

How is your decision making going?
We have a daughter heading out to college in the fall. She's not going to the school I thought she'd choose, but we're very pleased with her decisions. The school she'll be attending is an ideal fit for her.

We have our financial aid "offer". I knew we wouldn't get anything real, but I was hoping for work study. Nope. Our EFC says we should be able to pay 2Xs the cost of a year's worth of college!
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I have to say that there are plenty of kids who don't pay for their own educations and nevertheless take college seriously and do just fine. We expected our kids to come up with their own recreation money, but they knew tuition was taken care of.
Yeah, I don't buy into the "if you pay for it, they won't appreciate it" concept either. You've been living with this kid for 18 years. You already know whether he's appreciative of what he's given or not. If he's a spoiled brat, he probably does need to put in some serious work hours, but if you have a kid who generally knows the value of a dollar and who has worked hard in high school, he's not likely to blow off college just because it doesn't cost him anything financially.

We've set up some rules with our oldest about what we'll pay /what we expect her to pay, but we're taking care of the lion's share of it.
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The reason they take the parents' income into consideration is simple: if fiancial aid was based just on the student's income, very few kids would be able to afford school. Schools do not have enough money to fund kids based on their incomes alone. Even if some schools could do that, it would lead to parents just saying, "Well, then, I'm not helping", whether they could afford to or not.
I was the kid whose parents wouldn't do anything to help me -- not even fill out the FAFSA in a timely manner. At one point I went to the Financial Aid office and explained that my parents weren't willing to help me at all, and I asked them what I could do to help with my horrible financial aid situation . . . they looked over my information and came to the conclusion that I was lying. They told me that I couldn't possibly be living on the money I was earning. But I was.

Still, even having been the person on the short end of that particular stick, I don't have a better idea about how to manage financial aid more fairly. As you said, people will lie about their willingness to pay. I agree that a better answer is needed, but I wouldn't even know where to start in making it genuinely fair for everyone.
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:57 PM   #36
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My DD will probably be going to Hofstra in the fall. This was her 1st choice and the best fit. She is going into Music Ed with a minor in Music Theater. Then she wants to do her Masters in Music Therapy. We received our financial aid pack which really stinks. We requested that they review her package and they sent us back an email stating that we will be pleased with the outcome. Well $2,000 more than original - yes it is more but still only $2,000.00. We were hoping for $8,000-$10,000 more but it doesn't look like it. She will be taking the loans out that she can and we will try to help but can't help much. We will see. I have to do the Deposits $800 due. I think my DH will ck once more with them regarding the aid.
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Old 04-03-2012, 08:03 PM   #37
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I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:05 PM   #38
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No work study here either. Just found out today as well that if she gets a job with health insurance that her insurance through my husband will terminate. There is no provision for her being a full time student. Ugh. Now it's not a question of her getting a job, but a question of getting one WITHOUT insurance. (Are they easy to find?)
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:38 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by mvazul View Post
I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
I don't think anybody was looking down their noses at you just pointing out that kids that have college paid for aren't necessarily going to lose their money by partying kids.

If you choose not to pay for schooling that is fine but don't be defensive about it. My dd has had to pay for her schooling at NYU because she was training in a specific program. My husband and I were not able to help her due to our own financial problems but that's not to say that if I couldn't I wouldn't have...just like if you could have your expressing that you wouldn't have...that is your own prerogative.
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:39 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by mvazul View Post
I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
I'm not questioning your choice at all. But you should be aware that there are many people who consider it a part of their parental responsibility to provide a college education for their children. Just because you don't agree with that view doesn't mean it's not valid.

Graduating debt free was the most tremendous asset for my daughter. She was able to work and save so that she had a nice nest egg at graduation and that, combined with choosing to live in an area with a lower cost of living, has allowed her to have a nice life on an entry level salary. I will certainly do the same for my younger daughter.

Again, I'm not questioning or judging but your opinion is not the only one as far as paying for college is concerned.
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:43 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by mvazul View Post
I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
You're saying two different things.

On one hand, you're saying you can't pay. There's no shame in that, and it sounds like you have some good reasons for being in that position. If you truly can't afford to pay, that will show up on his FAFSA and he'll get aid. That's what the aid is for.

But then you make it sound like you believe that parents in general shouldn't pay for their kids education. Many of us here disagree with you on this.

So, which is it?
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Old 04-03-2012, 10:32 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by mvazul View Post
I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.

If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.

This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
The best way NOT to get judgement on the DIS? Don't volunteer this much information.

It's no one's business but yours.
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Old 04-03-2012, 11:38 PM   #43
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You're saying two different things.

On one hand, you're saying you can't pay. There's no shame in that, and it sounds like you have some good reasons for being in that position. If you truly can't afford to pay, that will show up on his FAFSA and he'll get aid. That's what the aid is for.

But then you make it sound like you believe that parents in general shouldn't pay for their kids education. Many of us here disagree with you on this.

So, which is it?
Sorry for the confusion. I have absolutely nothing against parents who pay for their children. I think it's great they can. We can't. I don't appreciate the comments of, "parents who refuse to pay" and "people will lie about their willingness to pay."

Our son tends to be more responsible with things he works for rather than those he has handed to him. He has known for a long time that he will need to pay for college. The attorneys have wiped out anything we had saved for him (and his 10 year old sister). However, that money is money I would spend, again, in a heartbeat. It was money that had to be spent.

Also, I am currently a college student. I used to work at Cornell in Ithaca, NY. My sister is currently a teacher at a SUNY school. She and I have compared notes. More often than not, the kids who have their parents paying, tend to blow off more classes and don't do the work assigned. Not saying your kid will be one of them, but I have seen it more than I have cared to. I have seen too many bright kids drop out, because they ended up on academic probation due to blowing off responsibility. It's sad to see it happen.

I am a firm believer that every family needs to do what is right for them. I honestly have no problem with parents paying for their kids' schooling. But, in return, I would ask to not be called a liar, because we can't.

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The best way NOT to get judgement on the DIS? Don't volunteer this much information.

It's no one's business but yours.
Absolutely! Thank you for reminding me.
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Old 04-04-2012, 12:06 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by mvazul View Post
Sorry for the confusion. I have absolutely nothing against parents who pay for their children. I think it's great they can. We can't. I don't appreciate the comments of, "parents who refuse to pay" and "people will lie about their willingness to pay."

Our son tends to be more responsible with things he works for rather than those he has handed to him. He has known for a long time that he will need to pay for college. The attorneys have wiped out anything we had saved for him (and his 10 year old sister). However, that money is money I would spend, again, in a heartbeat. It was money that had to be spent.

Also, I am currently a college student. I used to work at Cornell in Ithaca, NY. My sister is currently a teacher at a SUNY school. She and I have compared notes. More often than not, the kids who have their parents paying, tend to blow off more classes and don't do the work assigned. Not saying your kid will be one of them, but I have seen it more than I have cared to. I have seen too many bright kids drop out, because they ended up on academic probation due to blowing off responsibility. It's sad to see it happen.

I am a firm believer that every family needs to do what is right for them. I honestly have no problem with parents paying for their kids' schooling. But, in return, I would ask to not be called a liar, because we can't.



Absolutely! Thank you for reminding me.
You know, I've read this whole thread through twice and I can't find a single poster who said anything about people who lie about paying or unwillingness to pay. Where are you getting that from? Honestly, I can't find a single thing on this thread that anybody has said like that.

And you may know some kids who partied but I can assure you that there are many, many more who are responsible, mature and work together with their parents to achieve the goals they both have. I know three kids who partied too hard and got kicked out, out of hundreds who were successful. I think it's a huge conclusion to leap to.
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Old 04-04-2012, 07:18 AM   #45
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I haven't seen anybody accusing anyone here of lying or refusing to pay.

It sounds like the lady with the son going to Purdue has valid reasons for not being able to assist much with college expenses for her son. I don't know how much those reasons will help with obtaining enough financial aid- as has been discussed, the FAFSA doesn't consider everything in determining need. I do hope her son gets enough to attend.

I think people are responding to the statement that if you pay for college then your kids won't appreciate it and are more likely to be partiers in college and/or flunk out or do poorly. We will be paying for our daughter's college (4 years, in-state public university) and I know she appreciates it. She is a motivated, mature young woman and I fully expect her to graduate and go on to have a nice life and career after college everyone can point to a story about kids in college. I personally know 2 people who started off in college with big loans and jobs. Both dropped out because it was too overwhelming and they didn't think it was worth it. However, I do not think this means that all kids who have to work at college while toting loans will drop out. Kids are unique and there are many factors that determine whether they will be successful.
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