Our 12.12.12 S&D Wedding... *Update!* I BOUGHT MY DRESS!! :-)

[DarkPhant0m]

Well, since the deposits are getting paid and the planning is in full swing, I guess now would be a good time to start a PJ. I’ll be honest right out of the gate, I don’t know how much I will update or post, but I’m going to do my best to keep everyone in the loop! And I know I’ll be looking to you wonderful girls (and guys!) here soon for info on planning. I have so many questions, and I know I’ll be able to get some positive input from everyone! I will try to make sure I can fill in with pictures or links as much as possible. I've been writing this at work and I don't have any access to any online photo sites, and I'll break up what I have into a few separate posts. Ok people, let's get this show on the road!

The Background:
So, here’s a little background on me and the DF. I’m AnnaLe, he’s Mike. And we’re a couple of goofy, nerdy, geeky gamers, with 2 kids who are equally as goofy as us! I have a son from a previous relationship, he’s 9. And Mike and I have a daughter, and she’ll be 3 in May. Mike and I met about 4 years ago through his, now, ex-SIL whom I worked with at the time. He was going through a pretty nasty divorce, and I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He took a real liking to me, but being the silly girl I was, I just wasn’t ready to start anything so soon after just ending another relationship. But I did find him enjoyable to be around and we made each other laugh, which is what I think we both needed at the time! So I agreed to go out with him, but just as friends, to enjoy a movie and hang out. Our “date”, for lack of a better word, was scheduled for a Friday. He called me on Wednesday and said he couldn’t wait until Friday and wanted to know if I could meet that night! I agreed, because I had nothing else to do, and we haven’t been apart since!

The Proposal:
We got engaged almost a year ago in May, on our 3 year anniversary of our first date together. I had just lost my job, and it seemed like my entire world was falling apart! Nothing was going right, and the stress was getting to be too much. I was in the middle of the kitchen, trying to figure out how I was going to afford health insurance for my kids, help put food on the table, make sure we had money for rent, bills, etc. AND keep a smile on my face through it all. I had only been at my job for 4 years when I got laid off, so I only qualified for 4 weeks of severance. That was only going to last us a month, and DF didn’t make enough on his own to support a family of 4. So I did what any strong, independent woman does when at the end of her rope, dangling above the crocodile pit… I sat in the floor and cried, lol. I just lost it. And my DF came in, helped my lump of tears off the floor, and hugged me. He kept reassuring me it was going to be ok and that we’d make it through. Then he starts tearing up, which was not normal for him, and tells me he has a plan. He says “let’s get married”. I, of course, think he’s just trying to make me happy, since he had said he never wanted to get married again, after the train wreck of a marriage to his ex-wife. I had secretly wished for years that he would just ask me, but he never did. He apologized for not having enough money to buy me a ring, or do the proposal right, but he confessed that he wanted to ask me for a long time, but didn’t know how to. He’s silly, lol. I had to ask him if he was serious, and when he said yes, I cried again, ha ha! Of course I accepted, and now we’re trying to plan the big day!

Up next: Now what do we do?; My Big Fat Italian Wedding; and *Gasp* Drama...

[yourgypsy]

Hello, from one half of another pair of geeks! We also had the 'non-traditional' route and hey, what's meant to be is what's meant to be is how I feel about it. I look forward to reading more of your plans!

[Sizzle]

Welcome from another Swan Bride!! This community is so gracious and helpful, we are all here to help along the way!

I of course, am only here to look at the pictures

[2dogmom]

Welcome from still another Swan bride. Can't wait to hear how your plans come along!

[tinkerbell 766]

Welcome AnnaLe from an old (old being the operative word!!!) S/D VR bride!!
You will not, I am sure regret your decision to entrust JM and the S/D with your special day!!!
I will be following along eagerly with your plans.
Good luch sweetie and happy planning!!

[Icecoldpenguin]

Hooray AnnaLe I am glad you started your PJ we need more of our S/D sisters with PJs. I can't wait to hear more girl.

Teresa

[DarkPhant0m]

Originally Posted by yourgypsy

Hello, from one half of another pair of geeks! We also had the 'non-traditional' route and hey, what's meant to be is what's meant to be is how I feel about it. I look forward to reading more of your plans!

Hi yourgypsy! Glad to have you on board! Hope you enjoy the ride, lol!

Originally Posted by Sizzle

Welcome from another Swan Bride!! This community is so gracious and helpful, we are all here to help along the way!

I of course, am only here to look at the pictures

Thanks for the welcome! And I think we're all here for the pictures, lol! I'll try to post as many as I can! I'll be looking to you girls for plenty of help with all of this planning stuff!

Originally Posted by 2dogmom

Welcome from still another Swan bride. Can't wait to hear how your plans come along!

Thanks 2dogmom! I can't wait to share the things that are going to happen over the next 10 months!

Originally Posted by tinkerbell 766

Welcome AnnaLe from an old (old being the operative word!!!) S/D VR bride!!
You will not, I am sure regret your decision to entrust JM and the S/D with your special day!!!
I will be following along eagerly with your plans.
Good luch sweetie and happy planning!!

Hi JoAnne! I have zero doubt in my mind that having a S/D wedding and going with JM is going to be the best decision I have ever made! Well, next to saying Yes to the DF, lol! You are a big part of the reason I chose to heavily consider the S/D and JM for our wedding, and so far they have been wonderful! Thank you for following along, I can't wait to hear everyone's input!

Originally Posted by Icecoldpenguin

Hooray AnnaLe I am glad you started your PJ we need more of our S/D sisters with PJs. I can't wait to hear more girl.

Teresa

Yay for PJ's!! I love reading everyone's stories, all the ups and downs, too! It helps to know that other brides out there are having similar experiences and are having to make the same decisions that we are! Thanks for tuning in, lol!

Thanks, girls, for encouraging me to start this PJ. I hope I'll be able to provide some current and future brides with some information, idea sharing, and above all, laughter! I have a really long entry to share, so I will split it up into 2 separate posts. I will work more on some entrys this weekend, too, to get some more details out there! Alright everyone... on with the show!

[DarkPhant0m]

The Planning, Step 1, Date and Location:
Planning hasn’t been easy. We tossed around ideas of when we wanted to get married, and nothing seemed… right. Either he or I had an issue with every day we thought of. I started looking at venues and seeing what our options were around here. Nothing I was happy with, that’s for sure. And some of the places were really expensive! Then something in the back of my mind started screaming, Disney! I immediately dismissed it because, of course it being Disney, it HAD to be expensive. I was really wrong! I am a Disney freak, and I love everything about it! I have only been twice, and DF went for his first time back in 2010 for our family trip. He was in love! Our DD was 15 months old at the time, and he got to ride Dumbo with her and see her face light up with excitement! His heart melted and he says that he’ll gladly move to Florida with me when I’m ready, lol! So once I had it made up in my mind that I was going to be a Disney Bride, nothing was going to stop me! And then everything just came to me! 12/12/12 @ Disney was going to be it! I wrote the date and place on DD’s MagnaDoodle (see, I said we were goofy!) and I left it hanging on the refrigerator for him to see. I came home that night from work to find a smiley face and “Ok” next to my proposal! I will admit, I may have done a happy dance when I saw that he was on board!

The Family:
Before DF proposed, he did the very manly thing of asking my DS (!) if it was ok if the two of us got married. DS was 8 at the time, and honestly had not a clue about marriage, but agreed anyways, lol! Then DS spilled the beans to my parents, and needless to say, they were less than thrilled. My mom didn’t want to hear about it, and didn’t want to talk to me about it either. They love DF (at least they act like it!) and are always super nice to him, but my mom always has a way of finding the negative in everything! It’s really aggravating to be honest. So for the past year almost, we’ve never discussed it, and my parents don’t really know anything about the plans. Now that I have my STD’s addressed and ready to go, I’m going to leave one with her today after I pick up the kids. That will give her time over the weekend to get everything out of her system before I drop the kids back off on Monday morning. I know it’s probably horrible to have that kind of relationship with my parents, but I can’t control the way they act or think. Every life changing situation I’ve been in has started out this way. They, mainly my mom, will get really angry, doesn’t speak to me for weeks, and then tells me how happy she is. I don’t get it sometimes. But it is what it is.

DF called his mom and dad the night he proposed (even though I asked him to wait!). They, of course, were over the moon and thrilled for us! His family loves me and took to me like I was the daughter they never had! Mind you, DF’s family is Italian. Very Italian. I joke with him all the time that our wedding is going to be like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, lol! His entire family was so excited when we told them at the 4th of July family reunion that we had decided on a December Disney wedding. Everyone said they would try and make it down! Whoa! The numbers just started flying through my head at that point and I had a rough count of 80-100 people coming to Florida for this wedding! How in the world were we going to afford that!?! I didn’t have the heart to tell the family that we were only planning on having something small, like 20 or less. So we just went with it. Hoping things would work themselves out.

Planning, Step 2, Guest Counts:
Let’s skip ahead to Christmas of this past year. Nothing really happened between July and Christmas with the planning anyways. I did manage to start working again through a temp agency in October, which was a plus! I had it set in my head that I would call Disney at the year mark and start making plans for an Escape wedding. I few days before, I sent out an email to DF’s entire family with sort of a Pre-RSVP. We just wanted to get a rough idea of how many people were serious about coming down for the ceremony. We agreed that there wasn’t going to be a reception in Florida, mainly because of cost, and that we would be having a big reception locally Memorial Day weekend 2013 so that anyone who wasn’t able to come to Florida could still celebrate with us! We got a definite yes back from his one brother, a maybe from his other brother and SIL (they would have a 4 month old and weren’t sure about making the trip from Missouri, understandable!), and a maybe from 2 of his cousins. Everyone else was a no. Including his parents! I was appalled! Really!? His parents said no?! DF’s mom is disabled. She doesn’t walk very well and has to use a walker or scooter everywhere she goes. She has this idea stuck in her head that it’s not going to be very handicap accessible down there. ?!? Now, we all know this is not true! FMIL not only tells me that they’ve decided not to come 2 days before Christmas, but she does it on Facebook and sent the message to the whole family! I was mortified! DF was so mad, he didn’t even want to spend Christmas at their house. I did convince him to go, but it was so awkward with all of the tension in the air. So to recap, our guest count went from 100 to 10 in a week. Well phooey. Now what was I going to do!?

Up next: Do we really want to go to Disney??... Um... YES!

[DarkPhant0m]

Planning, Step 3, Back to the Drawing Board:
So with our guest count out the window, I really started reconsidering the Disney wedding. I wanted everyone to be able to come and spend the time with us! But then reality set in and I realized we weren’t going to be able to afford a big wedding. DF and I had tried to take out a personal loan to help cover the costs, but it was a no-go for various reasons. I told DF that if this wedding was going to happen, we were going to have to pay for it using our tax returns. Needless to say, I wasn’t too hopeful at that point. I started looking into local venues again. And again, I wasn’t happy with anything. I wanted a Disney wedding and nothing was going to compare. Our guest count was 10 including me, DF and our 2 kids. I’m assuming my parents will come, and then my best friend (MOH) and her mom, and DF’s brother (BM?) and his +1 (if there is one). A Memories package wasn’t going to work. We were dead set on the wedding being on 12/12/12, a Wednesday. Memories are only on weekends and we had too many people. An Escape was too expensive for what we wanted. I had done a rough estimate on our taxes and our teeny tiny budget was $8,000. Total. For everything including hotel, tickets, etc. I was hopeful at that point. I started looking into Swan weddings again. I am determined to do this wedding for $5,000! Question is, can I do it?

Planning, Step 4, The Wedding Planner:
I contacted Just Marry about having our ceremony at the Swan in the West Courtyard. I had spoken with Karen back in December, but when plans fell through with the family and we began to re-consider, I broke up with her, lol. When I emailed her a few weeks ago, she remembered speaking with me and we picked back up right where we left off. She told me that she was no longer handling Swan weddings, and that she would transfer my information over to Erin. Karen was even nice enough to go ahead and put in our site request to check for availability, even though Erin was out of the office for a few days. I got a response back from her the next morning that we had been approved for a 4pm ceremony!! I was so excited that we were able to secure our date! We did have a back-up plan in mind if the 12th was going to be completely booked, but thankfully we didn’t have to settle for that. I wrote Erin with some of the details that we already had figured out and what our basic plans were. She is the sweetest person! Very helpful with answering my questions and figuring things out! I explained that a lot of this wedding was going to be DIY to keep the costs low. The only things I needed from her were the site, an officiant, some minor floral décor for the space, and some bottles of champagne or cider. I told her that I had planned on securing the photographer, hair and makeup, musician, and cake myself. I figured then I would be able to get exactly what I want, and hopefully save a little money in the process! She was more than happy to help accommodate our moderate requests and said that I could turn to her for anything if I wasn’t able to secure vendors on my own! She came up with a contract that pleased everyone, and I signed it and emailed everything back to her with a huge smile on my face! Our ceremony is now booked, in ink no less! Lol Erin had also mentioned to me that we had been approved for the last available time on 12/12/12! That really got my heart racing, thinking that we could have missed out!

Ok, that's all I have typed up so far! Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to post about the dresses I'm considering (I need opinions! lol) and go a little more into detail about some of the vendors I've secured or am hoping to secure!

[msylvester01]

Congratulations on getting the date and time!!! I have been in email with Erin just recently. Even tho we won't be getting married till fall next year, she has been super helpful.

[Jilian]

Congrats and welcome from another non-traditional swan bride Your plans sound good so far, you can totally do it for around $5,000! Definitely! I'm gonna get my stuff in gear and try to post my final budget tonight to show just how affordable S/D weddings are. Can't wait to hear more about your plans, welcome to team Swalphin!

[yourgypsy]

Wow! You guys got super lucky with getting that last available time!

[virtuous girl]

Welcome Dont worry about having a small guest count, i think as long the people who r most important 2 u r there nothing else really matters ... im only having less than 20 people & im EXCITED about it! u can do more with a small guest also if budget is a big concern.. Congrats on getting the date u want what a unique day

[DarkPhant0m]

Originally Posted by msylvester01

Congratulations on getting the date and time!!! I have been in email with Erin just recently. Even tho we won't be getting married till fall next year, she has been super helpful.

You will love Erin! She has been so sweet, and has really made me feel at ease with the planning!

Originally Posted by Jilian

Congrats and welcome from another non-traditional swan bride Your plans sound good so far, you can totally do it for around $5,000! Definitely! I'm gonna get my stuff in gear and try to post my final budget tonight to show just how affordable S/D weddings are. Can't wait to hear more about your plans, welcome to team Swalphin!

Thank you! I took a look at your budget that you posted on your PJ, and you guys did great! We're not having a reception, just maybe a small dinner after the ceremony, so I feel really hopeful that we can do everything for $8,000! I did a quick check of totals so far, and I think we'll be able to hit our mark of $5,000 for the wedding part, and $3,000 for the extras (hotel, food, gas, tickets, etc.)!!

Originally Posted by yourgypsy

Wow! You guys got super lucky with getting that last available time!

We did get very lucky! We had a back up plan if we weren't able to secure the 12th. We thought about going to the courthouse on the 12th and having our papers signed so the date was official, and then having a "Blessing Ceremony", or something like that, the next day or so afterwards. Thankfully we didn't have to settle for that!

Originally Posted by virtuous girl

Welcome Dont worry about having a small guest count, i think as long the people who r most important 2 u r there nothing else really matters ... im only having less than 20 people & im EXCITED about it! u can do more with a small guest also if budget is a big concern.. Congrats on getting the date u want what a unique day

Hey there! I totally agree with you on having people with us who are special in our lives is more important than guest count! And I am really glad that we're only having a small number of people! But at the same time, I don't want to look back and see that there were only 4 people sitting, watching the ceremony, lol. I think I was just so aggravated that FMIL had decided that they weren't going to come down. Knowing that they had just traveled to Missouri for FBIL's wedding about 3 years ago. We know that FFIL really wants to come, but someone has to stay home to take care of FMIL. I would love to have everyone celebrate with us, but in reality, that makes for a harder planning, coordination, not to mention cost! We shall see how this all plays out over the next few months!

[DarkPhant0m]

So, this weekend was pretty uneventful. I dropped a STD (I sooo dislike that acronym, lol!) off at my mom's, and to my luck, they weren't home! So that made it a little easier, since I didn't have to face her just yet and it would give her time to get what ever she needed to do or say out of her system. When I dropped the kids off this morning, she was already up (which is unusual for her) but said she had been up all night, sick. Why do I have this feeling she'll try and blame that on me, lol! She didn't mention or say anything about the card, and I was running late anyways, so I'm sure she'll bring it up when I get the kids later. Or maybe she won't. It's always a guessing game lol.

We also went to the FIL for dinner on Sunday. I took the STD's for them and FBIL1. Anything to save on postage! Before dinner got started, FMIL and I were just sitting around chatting, like we always do. She asked how things were going and if we had made any progress with the wedding. I gave her the STD and she opened it, gave it this look and then put it back in the envelope and put it behind her on the counter. I told her that things were in full swing, with the planner and photographer being paid, and hopefully I'll be able to go look for a dress next weekend. She goes, "Oh, well, how's the job working out for you?" Um, ok. That was an obvious re-direction of conversation. I just went with it. You can lead a horse to water... ya know!?

So, I got my Flickr account up and running this weekend, so hopefully I can post a few pictures or links to share some of the details. I don't know what my post count has to be to be able to do that, but I'll find out here soon, lol.

Here's my engagement ring:


It's a darker blue than in the picture, but it looks so pretty in the sun! I just got it on Valentine's Day last week! I can't believe I went almost a whole year without one, but feeding my family was more important. I'm not used to wearing rings or jewelry, so I've been messing with it a lot.

Here are the STD's we're using:


I will shamefully admit that I recreated a design I saw on another bride's post. I can't remember which bride used this design originally, but I fell in love with it! I have a background in design, so I got to work using Illustrator to re-do the card from the bottom up. I had a $25 credit with Shutterfly, so I got them printed as 4x6 pictures. I got 135 of them for FREE! I just had to pay the $8.00 shipping. So if you want to get technical, each one cost me about .06! Hopefully I will be able to score a deal like that when it comes to our Invitations!

Ok girls. I have a meeting to go to here at work, so I'll post more about the dresses later. It's a slow day here with no mail because of the holiday, so hopefully I can get the post done before I go home.