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Old 02-08-2012, 01:11 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by My2CrazyGirls View Post
You have gotten some good advice here. ODD stems from something else and you need to figure out what that something else is. Aspergers, ADHA, Bi-Polar etc. That is the hard part! Not every child fits perfectly into a diagnosis so it will take an experienced professional to figure this out.

Our DD is almost 7 and although she is not violent her attitude is often that of a teenager! The way she talks to us can be so disrespectful. She does not understand other people have feelings and cannot see their point of view. She has an inflexible personality. She used to lash out and hit but now she rarely does which is nice. She was diagnosed with Asperger's less than a year ago. ODD was first though. She does not fit the mold of Asperger's so it was not a simple diagnosis but it is supported by both her excellent developmental pediatrician and psychologist.

Keep coming back here to vent and discuss. It will help you and personally it helps me too
The "mold" for asperger is the presentation typically seen in boys. Girls typically present very differently which is why it is so much harder to diagnose girls. Girls are frequently missed and when they are correctly diagnosed, it's typically much older than boys get diagnosed. The books all describe the male presentation.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:27 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by clanmcculloch View Post
The "mold" for asperger is the presentation typically seen in boys. Girls typically present very differently which is why it is so much harder to diagnose girls. Girls are frequently missed and when they are correctly diagnosed, it's typically much older than boys get diagnosed. The books all describe the male presentation.
YES, you are absolutely correct! I am sure that some boys do not fit that mold perfectly or fit perfectly into other diagnoses. It truly takes a team (a highly qualified team) to figure the complex kids out! I hope the OP can get some answers as to where the ODD is coming from. For me, knowing why my daughter acts the way she does is very helpful....doesn't make it easy....but it gives me some perspective.
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:43 PM   #18
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My dd is dx Asperger's and I will tell you that she can become aggressive and defiant when there is something "going on" that needs to be addressed. Sometimes it is really hard to figure out what that may be. With my dd, she is unable to have the self analysis and self realization to tell me "I am mad/upset about XXX". A lot of times it takes some serious analyzation on my part to figure it out.

Here is an example: My dd had been doing really well in school and we had greatly reduced her anxiety and school refusal. Then, out of nowhere, she started having serious anxiety again. She began begging me not to make her go to school. She started crying and becoming defiant during homework and she couldn't focus on anything. She was really irritable and grouchy all the time. I had asked her teacher if anything happened at school and she said no, not that she was aware of. I did a lot of analyzing and carefully asking questions as well as questioning the other moms, and finally found out that the math teacher had said some things to dd that caused all of this. She had told the whole class they were to have a timed multiplication test in which she would only have 3 seconds to reply with each correct answer.

This doesn't seem like a very big deal but to my perfectionist, anxious dd it was an overwhelming, daunting, impossible task. She has selective mutism so a verbal test with 3 seconds to respond would be very hard, if not impossible.

Her reaction to this was not to tell me but act out in a way that many would see as a personality disorder or a mood disorder. If I had gone to a Dr and told him of the behaviors we were dealing with, it probably would have resulted in a mood stabilizer or tranqilizer prescription.

I tell you all this because I had to do the work to figure it out so I could fix it (I had her exempted from the test) to get her behaviors to subside. Behavior is communication! For parents of ASD children you have to be very diligent in understanding the whole picture to try to "fix" the behaviors.

Believe me, dd has days where any reasonable Psych would insist that there is "more than just ASD going on". But as parents, we have the tough job in trying to determine what is just a reaction to something they are not able to process or deal with. Good luck!
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