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Old 03-14-2011, 12:21 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: South West, Michigan
Posts: 1,052

Bad news has turned worse for our family

I apologize, this is just a vent...to get some of this out of my head so maybe some of it I can stop thinking about it over and over and over again,

My Wonderful, Sweet, Cared many hours for my kids, Mother In Law was diagnosed the week before last with probable lung cancer, did a lymph node biopsy and got results this past Monday that it is in the nodes too. (she never smoked, but her late husband did) Doctor sent her for a CT of Brain/Abdomen/Pelvis on Tuesday. On Wednesday I get the call that she has 2 large masses in her brain. He called me and my DH because she was leaving that day for her first trip to Disney with my brother in law and his family.
So....we didn't tell her, and let her go on her trip.
We did have to contact my brother in law 1 hour before they were leaving to go to the airport and let him know the terrible news, and also that the Doctor started her on a seizure med and anti inflammatory to help with swelling in the brain. They had to stop and pick them up on their way. We told her it was pre treatment medications.

So, she is in Disney having the time of her life! She sounds like a little kid when we talk to her on the phone (she is 74). She is so happy and we have been getting emailed pictures of her along the way, which I know will be precious memories someday. All of her immediate family at home know, and our hearts break at the thought of her coming home from vacation to face this. It is wonderful to know she is having such a great time at the happiest place on earth....but....we know that with this type of cancer she may not be around for very long.
The one blessing of all this, is that we have had a week to digest the diagnosis and have a family meeting to decide care options and the potential problems we may have to face. She is not allowed to drive her car anymore, washer and dryer have been moved up to the main floor of the house, boarding off the basement stairs, purchasing a lifeline system for her to wear if she is alone for short periods of time, brother in law who is separated from his wife is going to move in to be there for overnights. Scoured through the will for the health wishes....and they were very clearly laid out. My husband has POA and there are only 2 items he needs to take care of with her.

We have our own family vacation planned in just a couple of weeks with my brother and his family...who have never been to florida or disney...I was really looking forward to spending a great weeks vacation with my family...never had a chance to do that before, as adults. The cousins are excited of course.....

So now we don't really know what to do. We can transfer the Villa reservation into my brothers name (for $100 fee) if we can't go....it's so hard to make that decision and know what we should do.
Just tonight our 4 kids were jabbering away at dinner about everything we were going to be doing, our countdown chain etc....
We have told them that Grandma is sick, not that she is terminally sick....though we did discuss that God has us on earth for specific reason and time to accomplish his good work and then when we are done we go to be with him. Our kids seem to readily accept that, and they have been through the loss of Grandpa too so that may help them understand.

My DH and I are Disney fans to the fullest but, we have lost our enthusiasm for this trip in lieu of concern for Mom. When we went through this with my Father in Law a kind Nurse gave us the advice to continue living. You never can predict the timing of things, you could put your life on hold forever over the what ifs...I do know Mom would be angry with us if we denied her grandchildren their trip. She has already told the family that when she dies she will be cremated, no visitation, no service, she wants her ashes placed on top of her husbands casket. (don't know if that is legal)

So, that's my story...it's been a pretty sureal week that seems like 2 weeks.

They went to Magic Kingdom today after seeing Detroit play Phoenex, and stayed for the electromagic parade and fireworks.
Me DH DS 15 DD 13DS 11 DS 9 DD Adopting from Haiti!
'75~Fort Wilderness '97~offsite HoneymoonMay'07~Orange LakeMay'08~Roesen Center & POP without Kids Jan'09~Caribbean BeachResort Nov'09~Fort Wilderness Sept'10~POFQ for Night of Joy, without kids April'11~Wyndham Bonnet Creek May'12~Wyndham Bonnet CreekAugust'13~Art of Animation
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